What You Don't Know

I've been sitting in the waiting room with my mom, Gracie's parents, and Brettly for over three hours. I can't believe I didn't drive her home. I couldn't because I was at the rink getting ready for the game all day long after school, but I feel so damn guilty. The emergency operation unit has only one other family in it. The family of the drunk that hit her, t-boned her dad's car which she was driving. I have so much hate yet sorrow for them. It wasn't their fault that he was drinking, but why would they let him drive if they knew he was going to be drinking. All I can clearly remember was yelling for Gracie into her car window and hearing her strained, painfully tiny voice. Seeing the car hit her is still processing in my mind.
I was right behind her the whole way. It was our green light. OURS. He ran the freaking red light. Fuck dammit. I think I'm going to cry again. I can't. I can't here. Not in front of my mom and her parents and Brettly. God, I wish we knew what was wrong with her. I wish I could do something to help her. I wish I could be with her, holding her hand. They didn't know if anything was wrong with her when she got her, so they took her in for an MRI and CT scan because she was stable enough. None of us know what happened after that other than she needed surgery.
Just as I'm about to break down, a nurse comes into the waiting room. She makes a beeline straight to us. The first words out of her mouth are: "She's perfectly okay except that she has a severely broken ulna and radius on her left arm and a dislocated and separated left shoulder." At that moment, the air lightens tremendously, and I can finally breathe again. "Can we see her, please?" I almost beg. "In about 15 minutes, we'll allow you all in, but we would prefer if immediate family entered first," the kind nurse with a calming smile spoke in serene words. "Thank you so much," Gracie's mom squeaks out. "Thank you, miss," Gracie's dad shakes the nurses hand. Brettly can only cry, and the same goes for me. My mom rubs my back like any mom would in this situation. I'm shaking. I can't believe she's okay. "Now, she does have a bit of memory problems," the nurse informs us," she can't remember anything from Wednesday until now except for some bits and pieces. She says she doesn't remember most of the crash, but she remembers hearing a guys voice." "It was me," I blurt out, "I was behind her and saw everything. I talked to her."
Everyone looks at me. They understand why I felt so guilty. Gracie's mom places her hand on mine. "It's okay, Ty. Don't feel guilty. It's not your fault. She's alive with only broken bones, a dislocation, and separation. She's here. Okay?" Mrs. Johnson tearfully, yet happily says to me. "Okay," I answer back. She pats my hand. "Well," the nurse begins, "It's been 15 minutes. It's time to go see her. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson?"
------------------------------
My mom left after she saw Gracie. She left me there with Gracie and her family. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are asleep in the attached guest room. I didn't know hospitals had those. Now, it's just Brettly and me, but he went down to where the snack machine is three floors below us and down the hall towards the cafeteria. It's theoretically just Gracie and me. She finally fell to sleep. The crash took a lot out of her. Her face is starting to bruise. Her parents asked the doctors about it. They said they were reading the MRI and CT scan, and they think there's a tiny hairline fracture from when her face hit her side door. She remembered that. She didn't remember a lot about my game tonight. I didn't expect her to. She remembered my shootout goal though. Then, she smiled at me and said, "You were amazing tonight." I could have melted from her words.
Now, as I sit in the chair next to her bed in the uncomfortable arm chair, I just watch her sleep. Her chest slowly rising and falling. I take her right hand in mine and rub it with my thumb. Her face is so serene for what she has been through. She makes a little sound, not pained like when I tried to get her to talk to me after the accident. It's more like when you wake someone up, and they make that little noise. "Gracie?" I whisper, hoping that she might hear me. The only sound she makes is Mmmmm mixed with the tiny laugh. "Hi," I say to her. "Hi, Ty," she whispers in a raspy voice with her eyes closed. "How are you feeling, baby?" I ask, not realizing what I just called her signifying she's my girlfriend. "I'm okay. My arm, shoulder, and nose are hurting me. I'm your baby?" she laughs a little bit then puts her hand to her ribs and cringes, "My ribs are bruised, you know? But you make me laugh no matter what anyways. You're my ray of sunshine on my cloudy days."
I kiss her hand. "You're the one and only person I can fully open up to. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I know you'll do well in your surgery later today. I can say that since it's 1 AM now," I smile and laugh. "Thank you, Ty," she tries to sit up to kiss me. "No, no, you'll hurt yourself more. Here, let me," I stand up and kiss her. I put my right palm to her right cheek. I break the kiss, "I'm so glad I met you." We kiss again. That's the scene Brettly walks in to: my body leaned over, Gracie and I kissing, and her hands in my hair and mine in hers. "I can't wait until you two can get your own room again," Brettly says loudly. I almost jump away from Gracie. "Ah...uhm...uh...ah...sorry, Brettly," I stutter a little bit. "Don't give us a hard time, Bretty," Gracie calls Brettly by her nickname for him. "Look, you two can do whatever you want once I fall to sleep, but don't get anything in while I'm awake," Brettly lies on the couch. "Ewww, Bretty. I can't even do anything. Stop insinuating that I can have sex after my first surgery. You're such a ninny," her faces flashes a deep red.
I kiss her on her right cheek. "Don't worry, Brettly. I'd never do it in the hospital. So awkward. Too...clean here. If that makes any sense," I direct at Brettly. "I'm just doing my job. Protecting my sister I should have had," he walks over and gives her a kiss on her head, "You two should go to sleep. It's going to be a long day. We have practice remember?" I nod, affirming it. "But...WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A DATE! What are going to do now? I'm stuck in the hospital," her lips start quivering and her eyes well up. "Don't cry, Gracie. You know what? We're going to have one here. That's right. I'll buy the food. I'll bring it over. I'll ask your family if we can have our date. Everything will work out completely fine. Don't you worry," I kiss her again. "Okay," she sniffles out. "Okay," I say back, "Now let's get our sleep. We'll need it, just like Brettly said." "Okay, goodnight, babe," she smiles at me and then looks at Brettly, "Goodnight Bretty." He nods her a goodnight. I kiss her on her lips and cheek again then curl up on the chair that I made more comfortable with the extra pillow in the room. I watched Gracie fall to sleep before I let myself fall to sleep, exhausted but so happy.