Until You Remember Me

I read a quote once on my Instagram feed that said, “Wherever you go, there is always going to be that bitch you feel the urge to punch every time you see her.” The picture had no relevance to the quote, for it was a picture of a girl modeling with her fancy ice cream cone for a designer, but that is not the point. The point is that I am feeling the urge to punch a bitch right now, or rather two.

“Amber, this is a stoplight party! Why are the lights pink, blue, and purple?” I yell at her, gesturing towards the strobe lights blinking. Amber immediately goes to the strobe lights to fix them, reaching up to grab them with yellow high heels on. I decided to have a stoplight party in honor of the new school year. Personally, I would like to know who isn’t dating anymore and who hooked up over the summer, but also, I can’t say no to wearing the sexiest red dress in my closet. I bought the dress purposefully for this party, and after screaming my head off at Amber and Jasmine to get the house perfect for the party, I ran upstairs to my room.

My room is what every little girl dreams about when they go to sleep. The walls are made of rose gold flower print with gold details in the patterns and have gold-painted trims. My bed is queen-sized with whimsical gold bed frames, a quilted headboard, and lighted white sheer canopy hanging over the bed. All of my wardrobe dressers are painted white and gold, and I have a diamond chandelier hanging from my ceiling. When we moved in the first time, my daddy wanted to put in one of the small bedrooms, but I immediately claim the second biggest room in the house and made sure to have all of the decoration be gold princess themed. My flaming hot red bodycon dress shifts the balance of the room as it laid on my rose gold blanket. However, putting it on over my slender body, I felt myself changed from a beautiful princess to a sexy seductress.

After about thirty minutes, I decided to finish my makeup and head downstairs. The minute I open the door, I can hear the pounding bass from speakers and the loud conversations from everyone downstairs. I never arrive at my party without an introduction, so I text Amber to get everyone to shut up. As fast as I sent the text, the whole house goes silent except the tapping of a microphone.

“Hey, guys, sorry to pause the music, for the host has finally arrived.” I hear a few cheers, and I sigh in frustration. “So, without further ado, here is Stephanie.” Suddenly, “This is What You Came For” is blasting in my ears, and I begin to stroll down the stairs, letting my legs show first before everyone sees the rest of me. Amber, Jasmine, and a few other people are clapping while others are giving me side glares. I snatch the microphone out of Amber’s hand and clear my throat.

“I am so glad everyone is here for my back-to-school party. Please enjoy yourselves, but I will say right now that going upstairs is prohibited! Let’s dance!” I cut off the mic and cue the DJ to continue playing his music. Rihanna’s voice is drained out by some weird techno-beats. I turn around to view Amber’s and Jasmine’s outfits. Amber is dolled up in red, from her bold red lipstick to her red fit and flare dress. Jasmine is wearing a green crop top with some dark forest green pants on.

“Stephanie, you look smoking hot!” Jasmine and Amber scream over the music. If I earned a dollar every time these two complimented me to kiss my ass, I would be richer than Bill Gates.

“Where is Jake?” I snap out, searching the crowd.

“Oh, um, he hasn’t arrived yet.” Jasmine murmurs, fidgeting with her hands. I dart my eyes at both of them and narrow it to show how I can see through their bullshit. Jake is here, for when Jasmine fidgets with her hands and fingernails, she is lying to me. She will think by now to stop with the fidgeting and tell me the truth, but right now in front stands a timid Jasmine who can’t tell her mom that she ate the cookie in the cookie jar.

“Okay, fine. I will find him myself. Move!” I part the way between Jasmine and Amber to blend in with the crowd, keeping my eyes out for Jake. The crowd has gotten bigger in the past two minutes of me talking to Jasmine and Amber, and I can still spot a group of people piling in from the door. I like to consider my parties the most favorable ones out of everyone else’s parties. When I turned sixteen, of course, my party had to be the most extravagant of them all. I went to Valerie’s party, and she only had a few of her closest friends, some food catered by her grandmother, and a band her cousin Devon performed in. As much as Valerie is my friend to some extent, it was the most boring party I have ever been to. I ended up leaving it for a college party I got invited to at the last minute.

When I had my party, I made sure my father got everyone and everything. I had three parties over the course of a weekend, even though my birthday was that Wednesday. Each party was themed, had a famous performer, and the most expensive food to named. I knew daddy spent like at least over 100,000 for each party, but I am his only daughter, so everything had to be perfect, especially since Dad has been the congressman. When I have my small parties like my back-to-school party, I am given a budget, and my family makes sure to go on a little vacation that weekend. Right now, my father, my step-mom, and my little brother are all on their way to Malibu.

As I look up and make sure all of the lights for the party is shining red, yellow, and green, I glance over someone and see Liam Kennard talking to Jacqueline. Immediately, I strode over to them and fixed my dress, knowing that the minute Liam sees me, he will walk away from Jackie.

“Hi, Liam! I am so glad you decided to come!” I exclaim, slightly pushing Jackie out of the way. Without a word, Jackie scowls at me and rolls her eyes before heading over to the other side of the room. I take her place and eye over Liam’s outfit. I am assuming he didn’t get the message about the party’s theme, for he is wearing dark tight jeans, a light gray t-shirt, and a denim jacket. His light brown hair is slicked back, and his chest is pressing out of his shirt. I meet his blue eyes, which are shining beautifully with the yellow strobe lights.

“Oh, hey, Stephanie. Yeah, I decided to come. Thanks for inviting me.” He combs some loose hair back and adjusts his stance, glancing around the room. I suddenly realize that he is here with someone, and I know it wasn’t Jacqueline.

“Where is she?” I fold my arms, trying to lift my boobs up. Liam notice my chest going up before looking back up at my face, clearing his throat. I love when I make men uncomfortable.

“Who are you talking about?”

“I am not stupid, Liam. Cheryl is here, isn’t she?” Before Liam can lie to my face again, from the corner of my eyes, I see Jake’s black hair leaning back as he laughs. He is next to the kitchen, talking to someone. Leaning back a little more, I notice black stiletto shoes near his black leather boots. Liam figures out that I am not paying attention to him anymore and turns around to see who I am looking at. His face instantly goes slightly dark, his eyebrows lowering as he tenses up. I push past a girl to view the kitchen area some more and come to a halt. Leaning against the wall is Cheryl, her curly hair in a high ponytail and her body snuggled in a tight dark red dress that goes to her knees. Jake is making a few glares to her curves, his hands inches away from touching her. They are both laughing like they are the closest of friends, and I am a few seconds away from smashing her face against the wall.

“That little bitch.” I spit out, rotating on my heels back towards Liam. Without hesitation, I grab Liam’s hand and drag him through the crowd towards the sliding doors in my living room that leads to outside. He doesn’t protest, and when I close the door behind us, admiring the lights coming from my pool, I head to the nearest lounge chair and put my face in my hands. I want to cry, but I also want to scream and punch a hole in the wall. All I could do is hunch over in the chair, hiding my emotions from the world. I can only hear a few voices surrounding the pool area, but the bass and pounding of the music inside are blocking them. I have a moment of forgetting before realizing that Liam is sitting right next to me. His soft hand hovers over my shoulder, and I peek through my hands, staring up at him. His blue eyes have sorrow in them, and I recognize the sympathy he has for me.

“Save your apologies. I don’t need to be reassured what happened in there.” I lay my hands on my lap, staring out at the pool. The light inside of the pool is causing the water to sparkle clear in the night. My father got a freshwater system to run through the pool, to give it a more natural feel. Small palm trees are surrounding the backyard along with rustic natural stone on the deck, a waterfall coming out of a stone wall, and white lounge chair stationed along a bush garden. It is the most beautiful part of our house, but all I can think about is how unbeautiful I feel as I am sitting there. Sometimes I can care less about who Jake talks to, especially when it comes to girls. Jake always mentions cheating on me with all of his girl friends since I cheated on him, but deep in his eyes, I know that he doesn’t want to. He has called me the most beautiful girl in the world, even through all of my flaws. The same deep, romantic eyes he gives me are staring straight at Cheryl.

“This is just straight bullshit,” I scream angrily, startling everyone by the pool. I don’t look up to see what they are thinking. The complete silence says it all. Stephanie has gone a-wire.

“Maybe, we should go somewhere,” Liam whispers to me, leaning closer to my side. I shake my head viciously and stand up, balancing myself on the stones.

“No, I don’t need to hide from my party. This is straight up bullshit because while I am out here, throwing steam, she is in there, throwing kisses my boyfriend way,” I holler, gesturing towards the house. I turn around and fold my arms, frowning at everyone looking at me. “What are you looking at? Either you mind your damn business or leave! Choose wisely.” Without hesitation, a few people go back to talking while a pair of people take their cups and head back inside. Tired of balancing myself in my heels, I quickly take them off and sit down on the edge of the pool, dipping my feet in the water.

Leaning my head back, I close my eyes and count down to ten. Deep in my thoughts, I picture myself against a wall, chatting it up with Jake. It was the first party I ever had, and he wasn’t my boyfriend yet. He told me that night how he had always admired me and called me beautiful. His hands rub lightly against my hip, and I can feel the touch through my jeans. That night, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and press my lips against his lips. Instead, he gave me a gentle peck on my cheek and whispered in my ears that he would think of me in his dreams. I thought that was the cheesiest thing a guy could tell me, but the next day, he texted me and asked me out. I was head over heels for Jake, and even though now it doesn’t seem like I love him anymore, I still do. I have always loved Jake.

A tear slowly runs down my cheek, and like a cue, a thumb gently wipes it off. I flutter my eyes open and slightly tilt my head to the side to look at Liam. There is something about the way his blue eyes glisten that brings a shiver through my bones. It feels like the same pain I am expressing are transporting to him, for his eyes shows the same pain.

“You are right. It is your party, and you shouldn’t be crying at your party.” A soft smile lights up on his face, and Liam brushes away some of my hair, tucking a strand behind my ears. I exhale from his touch and silently beg for more.

“Why are you so kind to me?” I whisper, looking away from Liam back at the pool. There is a brief silence before Liam’s hand is inches away from my hand on the deck.

“Because everyone has flaws and imperfections. What we hear isn’t always the truth, and I would like to hear your side of the story versus everyone else.” I slightly turn my head to him before smiling, leaning my head back to the sky and closing my eyes once again.

“Let me guess? Cheryl told you that I treated her like shit.”

“No, she said that you and your friends treated her like crap, and not everyone in this town is as pleasant as they seem.”

I snort and shake my head. Exhaling out of my mouth, I open my eyes and stare up at the night sky, spotting a few stars against the darkness of the evening. “We were all young. That doesn’t give us an excuse for what we said and did, but we didn’t know better,” I bring my head forward, my eyes meeting Liam. “I admit I did wrong, but sometimes, letting go isn’t always the best solution. Apparently, that is Cheryl’s same motto.”

“What happened?” Liam asks, tilting his head to gesture towards the house. “What happened between you and Cheryl?”

“That is another story for another night. However, the story I think you want to hear is the story between Willa and me. That is what unofficially started all of this.” I take a pause, focusing on the waves of the pool before continuing. “Willa’s family is from Washington D.C., for her father grew up there. I didn’t get to meet her until my freshman year. I am not actually from here. I lied to you about that part. My family is originally from California, and I moved here at the age of 12. My father has relatives in Tennessee, and there was a family emergency. I have seen Willa a few times in middle school, but one day in English class freshman year, she sat right in front of me and gave me the sweetest smile. I envied her hair, for it used to be the perfect shade of copper that in the light would shimmer strawberry tints. By then, everyone has labeled me the “it” girl, for my father had just run for congressman and won. I was the girl everyone wanted to be and wanted to be friends with. That wasn’t the case with Willa, though. She felt empathy for me and didn’t care about my status at the school. When everyone else saw me as the shining girl, she looked through the fakeness and saw the real me. Not the girl you see right in front of you. I needed a friend like that, and before I knew it, I was talking to her on the side, texting her at nights.”

I take a break, swallowing as I kick some water and glance over to the house. “Willa was sincere with me, and I told her everything about my life, things not even my closest friends know about. When we had projects in English class, I would go to her house to just vent and express my emotions about things happening. I thought that Willa would become my dearest friend, you know, be part of my group, but that summer, our late night talks stopped.” I close my eyes and try not to cry, exhaling before finishing. “Before the summer ended, I blurted out a huge secret I have never told anyone, not even Jake knows, and he knows a lot about me. I trusted Willa, though, for she brought a type of calm over me and actually listened to me. She didn’t just nod and continue with whatever she wanted to say or pretend I didn’t say anything. Willa was the closest thing to a real friend I had in a long time. But that night, when I told her my deepest secret, she changed. Before I knew it, Willa stopped talking to me altogether. Of course, I asked what was wrong or if what I told her was too personal, but I never got a response. I was heartbroken, and it is tough to get me to the point of self-destruction, but I had a moment where I didn’t know if I wanted to keep living. Willa made me crash without realizing it.”

Liam takes all I am telling him in, nodding at appropriate times. His hand slowly got closer to me as I talked and when I opened my eyes, he was inches away from my face. I could feel the heat spreading on my cheeks, and I avoided looking into his eyes. As much as recalling the time I was friends with Willa is emotional for me, having Liam by my side is distracting me. He must have noticed that too because he scoots away from me and clears his throat.

“Does she know all of this? I mean whatever you told her must have shocked her to the point where she didn’t want to talk to you.”

“Yes, she does. I spoke to her when school started sophomore year, pulling her to the side one day in the hallways. Willa didn’t even want to look into my eyes, and I tried to make her understand that what I told her was not against her at all. However, the secret had to do with her best friend, Cheryl, and she flat out said that she couldn’t talk to me anymore because she felt like I was using her to get back at Cheryl. I made it very clear that wasn’t the case, that I felt like we were close friends, and I cherished our times together, but she said her goodbyes, and I had to leave it there. So, now you know that the reason why Cheryl and I are always head to head started honestly after Willa and I talked. I mean, I didn’t like Cheryl beforehand, of course, but after telling Willa the exact reason why, it was like she betrayed me too.” I finally let out a breath I have been holding in for like forever and shake my hair off of my shoulders.

Liam blinks and stares off into the pool, not speaking for a while. Everyone outside had now migrated into the party inside, and it is just Liam and me sitting near the pool. I haven’t been in my pool since the beginning of the summer. Daddy has taken multiple trips across the country, and I have decided to go along with him. Speaking with congress people and elected members is the most boring thing besides listening to teachers, and I didn’t get a chance to enjoy my summer break as much as I wanted to.

Without thinking, I sink my legs deeper into the water, sliding into the water gradually. Then with a splash, I submerge myself in the pool water, the sound of the party disappearing as I sink deeper to the bottom of the pool. My eyes closed, I thought about that dark time in my life where I had stared at myself in the mirror and questioned how terrible of a person I have become. I have put all of my demons in a box in my mind, but no matter how much I pretend I am happy, those demons like to remind me who I truly am and the past I have been blocking away from people. Talking to Liam about Willa and I have unleashed some of the demons in that box, and without realizing it, those thoughts of misery fell over me.

After about three minutes, my lungs begin to vacuum up all of the air left inside of me, and my head grows lighter with each second. I haven’t even realized how long I have been in the pool until white specks invade my vision and the sensation of fingers caressing my arms heighten. The same hands are pulling me out of the water and air rapidly enter my body. Coughing as I pull wet hair out of my face, electrified blue eyes look at me with hysteric.