Until You Remember Me

My insanity is finally catching up to me. I am officially a fucking crazy person.

Frozen in my car, I glare out beyond The Loser’s windows to see Liam sitting down at one of the nearest tables, tapping his fingers against his cup. My key still in the ignition, I have a thought about just leaving the parking lot and coming up with a story as of why I didn’t show up. Maybe I suddenly got sick and had to rush home, or there was a family emergency. I wish I had a pet because an ill pet is an excellent excuse to get out of anything.

No, Cher, you have to be an adult about all of this. Just make an appearance, take a seat, then chat with him until you stare at your phone and see an emergency text from your mother. Well, my mom has never texted me, but today, she will.

“Get yourself together, Cheryl. You sound like a mad man. Stop making a big deal about this.” I shut my eyes to take a deep breath then grab my key out of the ignition. My heart is beating uncontrollably against my chest as I take a step out of my car, closing the door. I inhale and exhale deep breaths, trying to calm my heart down. I have never been this nervous about hanging out with anyone, and somehow, Liam is causing my body to go into overdrive.

Walking into the café, I glance around the room, avoiding going straight to Liam’s table. My favorite barista, Gunner, is behind the cash register, taking a customer’s order. Linda, his girlfriend, slips into the kitchen and comes back in less than a minute with a plate of food. I always admire Linda’s beauty, the way her hair can adjust to any hair dye job. This previous summer, she transformed her natural blonde hair into a mixed of dark violet, magenta pink, flaming red, and subtle orange, calling it her version of a sunset. Even after weeks of seeing her, the more the colors fade, the more beautiful it comes out. Linda originally is from Edinburgh, Scotland, but she moved to America with her sister, so both of them can perform rock music in Nashville. Linda, Gunner, and a few of their friends are in a rock band called “The Lovely Ashes,” and they also decided to run a café in Clifford Heights, which they call their day jobs.

When they first opened up, I remember coming in, and the first thing I say is “Why the fuck would you call your café ‘The Loser’?” Gunner just burst into laughter, which I have grown to love, because, with his lean figure, his laughs sound like a happy heavyset man, coming from his belly. Wiping away tears, he asked what would I like to try, and I fell in love with The Loser ever since. Gunner and Linda have become my older friends, asking if Willa and I would like to go to Nashville to see their shows. I have had great memories of sipping disgusting beers and banging out to rock songs at their venues and their house. When your parents argue a lot, they never notice their sixteen years old daughter coming home around four a.m., tipping over furniture and crawling up the stairs.

Gunner sees me first, giving me the biggest grin and motioning for me to come over to him. Smiling, I stroll over to the register, stepping to an opening on the side so Gunner can give me one of his bear hugs. I playfully scream for him to bring me down, for being a six feet thin man, his bear hugs take my feet off the ground. In response, I get his belly laughs, and he places me back down. Linda follows behind Gunner, giving me a soft hug.

“How is our party monster?” Gunner bellows, elbowing me playfully on the side. I step back, laughing. The last time I hung out with them, I got a lot out of control with the alcohol and ended up taking the microphone away from Linda, singing my version of “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt. There is a recording of it that Willa kept so if she ever needed anything, she can blackmail me with it.

“I am doing fine. Keeping myself tame since the last time I saw you guys.” I giggle, jokingly punching Gunner on the arm. “Hey, have you guys seen a guy about almost your height, Gunner, unusual tan for Tennessee, reddish-brown hair, and athletic muscles? I am supposed to meet him today.”

Linda and Gunner both exchange a look, Gunner lifting one of his eyebrows in amusement. I know where this is about to head.

“Oh, Cher sweetie, you didn’t tell us you had a boyfriend. Gunner and I feel a little hurt, for we thought we were all best friends here.” Linda puts her hand over her heart, her face resembling a cute sad puppy. Gunner is copying her emotions, except it is funnier staring at him making whining voices.

“Guys, I promise it is not like that. This guy and I are just classmates, and he is new to the town, so I am giving him a tour of our beautiful town, starting off with the most popular café in the city.” I smile ear to ear as their faces changes from sad puppies to tail-wailing puppies, knowing that these twos are about to play matchmakers.

“Oh, now, I remember. Yes, there was a boy of that description who came in. He looked like a lost child, and when he ordered, he had to keep asking what drink had the less caffeine in it. I almost pity him, but he is quite a cutey, Cher.” Gunner tease, pointing towards the table where Liam is at. I nod and tell Gunner to order my usual and some brownies. I move over to Liam’s direction and the minute his head rotates around to see me, our eyes meet. I never noticed how clear his blue eyes are, feeling like I am floating peacefully in an ocean just staring at him. That is what Liam is, this calm and peaceful sea with unexpected surprises underneath. The way he sits in the chair has an extraordinary grace to it like he grew up in a proper home that serves tea in the afternoon and has fancy dinner parties. When I am closer to him, Liam stands up, and for a second, I felt like he was going to bow before me. Instead, he pulls the chair on the opposite of the table out for me so that I can sit down. Over my shoulders, I get a glimpse of Gunner covering his mouth and Linda going awe at Liam’s gesture.

“Hey, Kennard. It looks like you found this place without trouble.” I grab my seat and watch as Liam waits until I got comfortable in my chair to take his seat again.

“Yeah, with a name like The Loser, it wasn’t hard to find this place.” He jokes, fidgetting with his cup. “I will admit, I have never been to a café like this. I am used to drinking from Starbucks.”

“Don’t say that name around Gunner or he will poison your drink. He despises that place, calling it the ultimate hipster shit hole.” I laugh, watching as Liam takes a gulp of his drink then put it back down slowly like Gunner has connected it to a bomb of some sort. In the mention of his name, Gunner pops out of nowhere, placing my matcha honey latte and Linda’s signature vegan fudge and sea salt brownies in front of Liam.

“I will let the slip of that place’s name pass this first time as a warning, but next time, you might be leaving here in an ambulance.” Gunner creepily says at Liam, which scares Liam a little as he squirms in his seat. I try not to giggle at this scene because Gunner would never hurt a fly, but because he is a hairy, tall guy with tattoos all over his body and piercings, he has been told by people who don’t know who he is that he can be a little scary.

Liam glared at the brownies in front of me with a confused look, and I couldn’t help but grin. “Liam, this is my close friend, Gunner. He is the reason I love this place, and his girlfriend over there serving a table, is Linda, the best baker in town. Whenever they have new customers, Linda bakes her popular and everyone’s favorite brownies to greet them. I promise there is not poison or anything in them. It is the best brownies I ever had, and they are vegan.” Liam picks one of the brownies up and bites into as Gunner leans in a little. Chewing, I can see a glimpse of delight in his eyes.

“This is the best brownies I ever had, and my mom makes some great brownies herself. What is in this?” Liam mutters, taking another bite of his brownie. Gunner chuckles and points where Linda is talking to a customer.

“My beautiful girlfriend over there never spills her secrets. I don’t even know the recipe, but I only know that they should give her an award for her cooking and baking because that woman is the top shit.” Linda turns around and smiles at the mention of her cooking, winking at Gunner. In response, Gunner blows her a kiss and covering his cheeks like a little girl talking to her crush. I am not the biggest fan of love, but if I can describe love to someone, I would describe Gunner and Linda.

After Gunner kisses the top of my head, he waves goodbye and goes back to the counter to take more orders. Liam appears more comfortable and relaxed as he takes another bite of his brownie. I sip on my latte and glance outside at the streets, not hearing Liam ask me a question.

“Huh? Can you repeat what you said?”

Liam clears his throat and takes another sip of his drink before continuing. “ I asked if you were born here?”

“Oh, yes,” I twirl my body around to face him, “My mom grew up here as well. My dad is the only outsider in my family, coming from Atlanta.”

“Why did your father move here? I have been in Atlanta, and I didn’t want to leave.” He slightly laughs, sipping his coffee.

“He was a booking agent for a label in Atlanta, and they relocated him to Nashville to book some acts. My mom was working in Nashville around the same time he arrived as a waitress at a restaurant most of the top songwriters perform at. Well, the rest is self-explanatory.” I grab a brownie and take a bite of it, realizing how hungry I am.

“Ah, I see. I guess, my parents were the same way. My mom, at the time, was a sales representative, moving to different locations, and met my dad at a hospital, of all places. They hit each other’s car, and my dad went to the hospital. My mom felt at fault, so she came with him to the hospital and stayed with him all night. He walked away with a few scratches and bruises and the love of his life that next day. They were in New York at the time, both natives, and they have been traveling every since.” Liam finishes his brownie and moves his eyes to mines. Not wanting to get lost in his eyes again suddenly, I decided to look down at my drink and take another sip, even though it has gone a little lukewarm by this point. Every time our eyes meet, I feel like I am being suctioned into another dimension like it is just him and me. I have never recognized this feeling before, and I don’t think I am ready to hop down that road.

“So, it is just you and your parents?”

“No, I have a little sister named Brenda, she is about 12 years old. My mom had me in London, and she had her when we were living in Washington D.C.” Liam slides his cup away from him, taking a nap and sweeping away any crumbs.

“That’s a cute name. I don’t have any siblings nor a pet. My parents decided just me was alright with them. Gunner, though, I consider him like an older brother. He likes to make sure I am taken care of.” I look over my shoulders to see Gunner is taking an order while sneaking glances our directions, like the protective older brother he is. I wave at him, grinning, and he nods, waving back. I turn back around to give my attention to Liam, who looks like he is missing out on this inside joke.

“Well, Gunner is, um, a fascinating older brother. How did you guys meet?”

“We met when he opened up the café a few years ago. He likes my “spunk,” as he likes to call it, and I would come here almost every day, even if I didn’t have money. Gunner and Linda would ask me to come to their gigs, for they are in a band, and after multiple attendances, I became like part of their little family. I am just waiting for the both of them to get married, but Gunner and Linda both agree that the day they get married, it would be unexpected, and invitations would be given out in like morse code that only their closest friends would know.” I laugh, grabbing the last brownie on the table.

“Do you ever think about getting marry, Cher?” Before Liam finishes his sentences, I almost choke on a piece of brownie, coughing and staring at him. What the fuck, what type of question is that.
“Um, well, that is a bold question to ask. Only friends ask that kind of question.” I chug down the rest of my drink, feeling like I almost died.

“Sorry, I thought we were friends. I mean, we are sharing brownies and drinks at a café, getting to know each other better.” Telling from Liam’s face, he appears a little hurt by my comment, but part of me don’t care because I am still surprised he would ask me a question about marriage. Who does he think he is?

“We are almost there, Kennard, but that still doesn’t explain why you would ask me that question. My personal life is none of your business, and frankly, I think for right now, until we reach that friend level, we should only ask questions about general information, where is the nearest library or where do you go for fun around here? No personal questions.”

He puts his head down and nods. We both sit in silence, me chewing on my brownie and Liam fidgeting with his empty cup. I stare out the window again, watching as a couple get out of their car and kiss each other.

“What is your favorite thing to do in this town besides hanging out here?” Liam finally asks, and I turn my head to look at his eyes. Goddamn, those eyes are like looking into my soul.

“Hm, well there is this small part of the city’s park next to the lake where an enormous willow tree stands. I like to sit next to it and read a book or write stories under it. The scenery is very inspiring and serene, for no one pays attention to that area of the park. I happened to discover the tree on a walk unexpectedly and fell in love every since.” I feel a small grin forming on my face as I think about my days under my willow tree. I called it Grandma Willow because it reminds me of the willow tree in Pocahontas, full of beauty and wisdom. When I had to deal with my parents fighting, I would go to the tree and get lost in my world, sitting under the tree until it is close to dark. I have never taken Willa to my secret spot, and Willa respects that choice, for she knows how sacred the tree has become for me. Watching Liam, I grasp a pinch of understanding on his face, nodding as if he is answering a question in his head.

“It sounds like the perfect hiding spot. Kind of like my hiding place back when I was living in London. My family has lived in London twice during my childhood, and when I was 10, I used to visit this tree next to our home. It was in the middle of one of the most beautiful parks in London, gated off only for the residents. I would sit under the tree and daydream, playing with my toy planes my dad always got me. I always think about my hiding spot when I am down.” His eyes glisten with remembrance as they meet mine and this time as I stare into his eyes, an electric rush goes through my bloodstream, shocking my body. The coffee shop suddenly freeze around us, and the only noise I can hear is the sound of my rapidly beating heart and the gasp coming from my mouth.

One blink and the environment around me transforms. The white wood on the walls changes into cracked stone, the graffiti covered counter and chalkboard menu vanishes into a long, black granite stone bar with high bar stools and the Edison light bulbs are hanging from the ceiling are now replaced with chandeliers with diamonds dangling above us. Everyone are dressed in shiny dresses and dapper suits, women with vintage curls and men with fedoras and hair slicked back. Liam’s gaze resembles mines, looking as astounded and confused. We are both in shock, our eyes running down each other’s bodies. Liam’s eyes are more of a seafoam blue, his brown hair shading into a copper tone and his black tee shirt and jeans are now switched to a dark gray suit completed with a navy blue tie. His hair is slicked back, and his suit jacket is unbuttoned to show the white button-up shirt. I glance down my appearance to find myself in a black fitted number. The sleeves and neckline are made of sheer polka dots, a ribbon placed around the neck. I felt like my ribs were suffocating as my waist is cinched in, and my shoes are black with a strap around the ankles. I touched my ears to feel diamonds clustered together. After checking myself out, my eyes meet Liam’s, and we both have the same thought.

What the fuck is going on?

Before I can speak a word, the electric rush strikes my body again, sending a vibrating sensation in my bones. A flash comes across my eyes, and before I know it, the scenery of the café returns, coming back to life. Linda is hurrying to a table with a tray of drinks and pastries, and Gunner is chuckling it up with a customer by the register. Looking at each other, I can tell from the puzzled expression spread on Liam’s face that he is as much in astonishment as I am.

“What-“

“-Just happened?” Liam finishes my sentence, blinking. “I honestly don’t know.”

“I think we were in a bar dressed like my great grandmother in the 1940s, which is impossible because we are in the café, and it’s 2017,” I whisper, leaning closer to Liam, so no one overhears our conversation. “I know we both just imagine that, so either like we are both insane or what we saw happened is the real deal, and frankly, I prefer to think I’m going insane.” I push my chair back, standing up. Liam quickly stands, more confusion spread on his face.

“Where are you going?” Liam utters, moving away from his chair to my side.

“I am going home. I think I need some sleep.” I begin walking towards the entrance door, waving Gunner goodbye at the counter as Liam follows behind. I am close to my car, my hand place on my forehead, feeling a headache come on as he strides in front of me.

“Are we just going to ignore what just happened?” Liam exclaims, his hand gesturing back to the café. I run my fingers through my hair and let out a loud sigh, pushing pass him to my car.

“No, we aren’t, but I prefer to sleep before discussing the craziness that just happened. I will bring you to town tomorrow, promise.” I exhale, my sudden tired eyes boring into his lost but yearning eyes. Part of me feels uneasy about leaving Liam, but the whole out-of-body experience that just happened has made me realize how much sleep I need.

“Goodbye, Kennard. See you at school.” I unlock my car and open the driver’s door, watching as Liam backs away, realizing that I am not going to talk any more about the situation.

“Before you drive off, can you at least give me your phone number, just in case I need to speak with you about my classes for tomorrow?” Liam suggests, and I step away from my car towards him. The throbbing of my head suddenly gets worse the closer I get to him.

“Sure, I can do that, but only for those reasons. Nothing more.” I say as I grab his phone, dialing my number in and saving it to his contacts. I give his phone back and wave goodbye as I climb inside my car. I can see Liam stepping towards a red Mustang, glancing down at his phone. I pull out of my parking spot and speed towards the road, wanting to hurry towards my bed. The minute I stop at a red light, I hear the bing of my phone goes off and peek at the screen to see who messaged me. The zip code for the number doesn’t seem like a Tennessee zip code, meaning the number has to be Liam’s. Confirming my guess, I pick up my phone and see what the message says.

Thank you for the drinks and brownies. I am glad we are starting to become friends. Talk to you later, Cheryl.

A small smirk appears on my face, and I put my phone down, watching as the light turns green. I do not know what just happened between Liam and me, but something tells me that this is only the beginning. Hearing Liam talk about his secret tree in London must have triggered something inside of me, but now I know that the more I learn about Liam, the more I feel like my life is becoming bizarre. First the dream and now the flashback, if that was even one.

There is something odd about Liam, and I am afraid to see what is more to come with him.