Flesh & Bone

Jocelyn was sitting in the one place she never wanted to step in again. But, she was here, in his living room, on the sofa she used to adore. It was the softest sofa she's ever felt. And it was the color of the walls of her room, a very dark red. She guided her hand along the arm of the sofa and traced over the seams. She was trying to distract herself from the uncomfortableness. He was sitting next to her on the sofa and she was trying to keep her distance.

“Okay freak, let's get started on this bitch,” Alex announced from beside her and that snapped her out of her happy place. Slowly shifting her eyes to him, she nodded her head slightly. She really didn't feel like speaking because she knew he'd say something smart in return.

A few minutes passed by and she sensed Alex getting the hint that she didn't want to talk. He'd been the only one talking the whole time. After feeling like she was being watched, she turned to look at him. His face was pulled into a smirk and she rolled her eyes.

“Fuck off,” she scuffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Alex pretended to look offended then continued to smirk at her. He started inching towards her on the sofa. Once he was close enough to her, he throw his arm over her shoulder. Jocelyn's eyes widened in horror. She grabbed his arm and threw it off.

“Don't fucking touch me. Let's just get this thing done please,” she murmured, scooting herself tightly against the arm of the sofa. Alex cleared his throat loudly, then turned back to the papers that were in front of him on the coffee table.

“Listen, I don't know why you hate me so much,” Alex said after a few minutes. Jocelyn gaped and furrowed her eyebrows together. The anger in her began to boil.

“Fuck off, Gaskarth, you know exactly why!” she shouted as she shot up off the couch, hands clenched in fists, “you're the biggest dick on this planet...especially to me.” Alex sat straight up on the sofa and narrowed his eyes at her. She saw his eyes travel from her to her backpack that was on the ground. The notebook was right there. How the hell did she not remember to take it out. Fucking great... she thought to herself.

“What the hell...” Alex trailed off as he reached into her backpack to grab it. Jocelyn flung herself at her backpack and snatched the notebook before he could get it. His eyes narrowed again and he looked from the notebook to then back to her. Alex got up off the sofa and ripped the notebook out of her hands.

“How in the fuck did you get this?” his voice rasped angrily. Jocelyn was trembling a bit, her hands started shaking and sweat threatened to escape from her forehead. She started to talk but nothing came out. What was he going to do to her? Beat her? Verbally abuse her?

“I-I just...”

“What? Did you sneak into my house and steal it? I know you know how to get in.”

Jocelyn bit her bottom lip with hands still trembling. She wanted to tell him the truth but what would that do? He seemed angry enough to kill her right now.

“Did you read anything in it? Writings that weren't yours?” He asked her with anger. “You act so tough but, here you stand...” His hands suggested to her, “...Like a hopeless, little puppy.” Alex's voice lowered into a harsh whisper. The tears spilled from Jocelyn's eyes. She grabbed her backpack and quickly ran out of the front door of Alex's house.

Alex was right on her trail. She thought she was in the clear but, she felt his hand tightly grab her by the arm. He turned her around to face him.

“FINE! I read something...” Jocelyn shouted at him, still fearing he might do something to harm her. “Something I'm still very confused about.”

Alex furrowed his thick eyebrows and gently let go of her arm. He looked away from her, his gaze off in space somewhere. He snapped his attention back to her. His hand found her arm again and tried to pull her inside the house. She shook her head and didn't budge from her planted spot on the sidewalk. A sigh came from Alex.

“Please, I-I want to explain,” he pleaded, still having a firm grip on her arm. She couldn't pass it up, she needed the explanation. This was what she wanted since she first found the notebook in his room. She nodded her head and let him lead her back into the house, sitting down at the sofa.

“Just hear me out on this. Remember freshmen year?” Alex started, looking at Jocelyn directly in the eyes. She nodded and he looked away, continuing “I know, I turned into the biggest asshole. Fuck, I'm still a dick to you. But, you started fighting back and I just couldn't stop. It was the only thing that distracted me from what I was really feeling,” he looked back into her eyes and this was the first time, in a very long time, Jocelyn saw sincerity in them. Her face twisted and she started to become confused.

Alex bit the bottom of his lip and swallowed. “Goddammit, this is way harder than I thought it was going to be,” he admitted, looking away from her again and playing with his fingers. What did he mean by distracting him from what he was feeling? She didn't know where he was going with his explanation. Her eyes narrowed into slits and she tried to solve this very confusing puzzle.

“Alex, where the fuck are you going with this?” Jocelyn pressingly asked him, trying to get it out of him.

“Jocelyn, I-I...I was scared I was falling in love...uh, with you. I still am,” Alex stuttered.