Put Me Back Together

Emma's POV

It was raining and it was going on 4 in the morning. I did not feeling like going home. I didn't want to explain this to Suzy. She would be disappointed in me, just like Brian. I decided to go to the place where I once called home. I almost didn't recognize it, because it was so plain. I walked up the driveway and stopped at the front door. I grabbed the handle and turned it. Thankfully it wasn't locked.

I walked in and shut the door behind me. The whole house was empty. The only thing in the living room was the couch. A sigh escaped my lips, wishing I could rewind time. I miss everything. I miss being close with everyone before my parents passed away, before I moved. I walked down the hallway and stopped once I was in the kitchen. So many memories in the house, ones that I relive over and over again.

The one that was specifically stuck in my head was my 16th birthday.

They all starting singing to me and I smiled. Johnny even snapped some photos on his camera. They finished the birthday song and I took a deep breath. I wished that I would never lose the guys, and I blew the candles out.

All of them started clapping. Brian started cutting pieces out, and Matt wrapped his arm around my mid section, “What’d you wish for?” He breathed into my ear.

“I can’t tell you, then it won’t come true.” I smirked.

He scoffed, “Superstitious.”

Brian handed cake to us and I started eating mine. Everything was going great until Jimmy took some of his frosting and rubbed it on Johnny’s face.

I rolled my eyes and Johnny grabbed his cake and went to throw it at Jimmy, but he ducked his head, and it hit Zack dead in the face. I covered my mouth to not laugh.

Zack glared at Johnny, “You’re dead Seward!” He picked up his cake and smeared it all over Johnny’s face.

Brian went to break up their cake fight but, Johnny ended up getting some on Brian’s shirt. Brian grabbed him by his collar and pulled him over to the cake. He smashed his head down and before I knew it, this all turned into a cake fight.

Matt pulled me underneath the counter, so we wouldn’t get hit with any cake. I looked at him, “They’re going to destroy my kitchen.” I chuckled.

He nodded, “I got this.” Matt jumped up, “Hey! Knock it off, you guys are making a mess! This is Emma’s birthday, we here to celebrate with her not make her have to clean up a mess! Start cleaning!” He exclaimed.

I heard groans and snickers. I stood up and Matt grinned at me, “That good?” I smiled, “Yeah, but let’s help them.”

He made a face of disgust, “I hate cleaning.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed his arm, “Come on. It’s not that bad.”

We cleaned for about an hour and the kitchen was back to normal. I put the sponges in the sink and washed my hands off.

A smile even formed on my lips remembering that day. I was so happy. Maybe I really do belong with Matt? Maybe he's the one I wanted all along. I got a pain in my gut while thinking about that. Brian did so much for me. He's protected me since day one.

"Leave her the fuck alone! Take me, do it! I fucking dare you." I looked at Brian in shock at what he was doing.

The guy was getting a kick out of this, which meant he was insane. "Oh, alright Mr. Tough guy, you're up first." He punched Brian in the face and I tried to get him to stop, "NO!"

A hand came over my mouth to shut me up. Brian just glared up at him, "That all you got?" Was he trying to get killed? The guy just laughed and kicked Brian in the stomach causing him to cough. I felt so bad for him. I couldn't let him die for me though, I just couldn't.

That day was the day I started to form feelings for him. We had a bond, because of that. A bond I don't think we can just give up. Tears started to swell in my eyes and I started to feel like a fuck up. I ruined everything with him. If Matt is the one I'm suppose to be with then why does it hurt so much?

"I wish I could just die.." I muttered out loud without thinking.

A voice startled me, "That is not something to wish for."

It made me jump a bit, but I relaxed once I turned around to see Jimmy standing there. I sniffled and wiped my eyes, not wanting him to see me like this. He was still beat up from the car crash.

"Brian called me and explained everything.."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and started to walk past him, "Great, you hate me too." Just as I got past him, he grabbed my arm to stop me. "I don't hate you, Emma."

This made me roll my eyes, "You should. Brian does, Zack does, and I'm sure Johnny will too."

Jimmy took a deep breath before sighing, "Emma, I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. You still love Matt, he's your first love. You love Brian though and now you don't know what to do. You think Brian hates you, so you're thinking about just calling quits and go back to Matt."

My mouth dropped open a bit, "How did-.. How?" Was all I could ask.

He chuckled a tiny bit, "I know you better than yourself."

"Then what should I do?" I asked, while biting my lip.

Jimmy put his hand on my shoulder, "Only you know that answer."

A groan escaped my lips as I shrugged his hand off my shoulder. I leaned up against the wall and put my hand on my forehead, "Can't I just go back to before my parents died, before I moved, before Matt and I broke up? Everything was perfect then."

Jimmy shook his head, "That's where you're wrong. You and Matt did nothing, but fight. In the beginning it was puppy love, but then you guys just got in fights. Who was there when you needed someone the most? Who came to you at 2 in the morning? Who helped you get through your depression? Emma, you only want to back with Matt, because you think it'll make everything easier and you'll be happy again."

Everything he was saying started to make me have flash backs.

I walked out of the house and locked the door behind me. As soon as I got into the car, Metallica filled my ears. He had the volume up really loud. I frowned and turned the knob down, "Are you deaf now?"

He rolled his eyes, "Music is the only thing that wakes me up in the morning, so deal." He turned the music back up to where it was before. The next song came on and I smiled when I recognized it as Enter Sandman. It was one of my favorite's by them.

The singing started and I started to sing them. Brian gave me a grin and joined me. "Sleep with one eye open! GRIPPING YOUR PILLOW TIGHT!" He screamed at the top of his lungs and I busted out laughing. This was seriously making my day.

We kept singing all the way to School. When parked just as the guitar solo came on and he started to mimic it, which he looked so funny doing it. Soon, my favorite part came on and I said the prayer they say in it.

"Hush, little baby don't say a word." Brian said in a really creepy voice which was making me smile. I said the next line, "And never mind that noise you heard."

He grinned, "It's just the beast under your bed."

"IN YOUR CLOSET, IN YOUR HEAD!" We both screamed together.

A smile started to form on my lips remembering that day. He always puts a smile on my face no matter what he does.

I took a breath to try and steady myself. "H-he.. broke up with m-me."

Brian pulled me into his arms and I let the water works spew all over his shirt. I've never knew what it felt like to get your heart broken, but now I know. I just don't understand anything anymore. I started to sob harder and Brian tightened his grip on me.

I just wanted to go home and hide in my room forever. I lifted my head, "Can you take me home?" He nodded and wrapped his arm around my waist to help guide me back to the car like I was a child. I didn't really care though.

We got into the car and I looked out the window all the way to my house with tears streaming down my face. He pulled into my driveway and I looked up at him, "Stay with me?" I don't care how desperate I sounded, I needed someone to just be there for me.

Brian half smiled, "Of course." We got out of the car and walked into my house. I went straight up to my room and sat on my bed criss-crossed. I used the back of my hand to wipe the remains of any tears off of my cheeks. "I was going to tell him I loved him, but then he said that he wasn't in love with me." I said while keeping my head down.

"Hey, look at me." Brian sat down next to me and put his hands on my face. "I know it hurts, but it'll get better. You got your heart broken, but it'll get better with time. As for now, I'm here for you as long as you need me." He kissed my forehead.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, "Thanks Brian. I don't know what I would do without you." He's always just been so protective, comforting, and nice to me. He gave me a tight squeeze. "I will always be here for you, Emma. Always."

A tight feeling in my chest made me know what I had to do. I raised my gaze up to Jimmy, "You're right. I need to go talk to him. Did you drive here?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I'll give you a ride."



Jimmy parked the car and told me he would wait for me. I took a deep breath before getting out of the car. I walked up the path way and got to the front door. I knocked lightly on the door, considering the time of day it was. It opened, revealing Matt in just his boxers. He seemed a little shocked to see me, "Emma?"

He stepped out on the porch and closed the door behind him, "Did you finally realize who you belong with?" Matt asked with a smirk forming on his lips.

I nodded, "Yeah I think I did and I just want to know one thing, do you love me?"

Matt scoffed, "If I didn't, do you think I would be doing this?"

This made me shake my head with clenched teeth, "You don't love me! If you did, you would of been the one comforting me when my parents died, you would be the one who cheers me up whenever I'm down, you would of been the one who stopped me from killing myself, you would of been the one I love.." I trailed off.

"Emma, I couldn't do any of that, because fuckin' Haner was in the way-"

I cut him off, "If you really loved me, you would of found a way past him. Matt, when we were together, Brian told me he was in love with me. If Brian found a way past you, you could of found a way past him."

Matt pinched the bridge of his nose while exhaling, "So what are you saying then?"

"I'm saying that you're not in love with me and I want you to admit. I want you to tell me the truth." I said while crossing my arms over my chest.

He hesitated, but finally gave in, "Fine! I'm not in love with you. I just thought that if I could get you back then Brian wouldn't be able to have you."

This made me shake my head, "You're fucking pathetic, Matthew. I am so glad I'm over you! I just hope Val doesn't have to go through the same shit I had to. Have a nice life, Matt." I sneered while walking away.

Once I was in the car with Jimmy, I put my seat belt on. He looked at me with a smile on his face, "Feel better?"

"Much. I just hope Brian forgives me." I said while fumbling with my fingers.

Jimmy shrugged as he backed out of the driveway, "You never know with Brian." Which was true. He did hold grudges, but sometimes he'd get over them. I just don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't forgive me. He really is the one I love and if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be.