We'll Fall in Love After Midnight

My feet shook from the vibrations coming off of the stage as my husband screamed into his microphone. It would be a couple weeks before I would get to watch him again, as I was leaving later tonight. Just as Second & Sebring was about to start, I caught Austin's eyes and watched him sigh. Every night when I watch him perform this song it made my chest tighten up, as if I felt his emotion inside me.

As soon as their set ended we were escorted to the bus and away from screaming fans. All of the guys showered and got freshened up for the rest of the night. I stayed quiet for most of the day from being sad knowing I was going to leave my husband in a few hours.

Austin wrapped his arm around my shoulder and rested his head on mine, "Don't be sad, Mamas."

"Too late," I whispered and stared off in front of me. His lips pressed against my forehead as I felt myself getting upset. "We've been married for four days and I already have to leave you. It's not fair."

"It's no different than before though. Yeah it's always a bummer but what difference does it matter this time around?" He asked.

I looked at him, "The difference is I came out here as Maci Westfall and I'm leaving as Maci Carlile."

He stayed quiet for a moment, studying my face. "Well you knew you couldn't stay that long either way because of your job, so don't get that upset."

I rolled my eyes and looked away from him, turning my attention to my phone. Austin dug his nails into my arm from my eye roll causing me to quickly hit his chest, "What the fuck, dick!" Phil, who had his headphones in, looked up at his from the kitchen bench. I shook Austin's arm off of me and walked off of the bus to get some air; He followed.

"What's wrong with you? Just storming off of the bus like that!?" He yelled, throwing his arm pointing towards the bus.

"Me?! What the fuck is wrong with you, Austin?!" I yelled at him. "You seem to not even care I'm going home, if anything you seem happy. You think marrying me was no big deal and that hurts. You're probably waiting to go fuck some groupies once I leave for all I know."

Austin grabbed me and pressed me against the bus, his hand held my shoulder down. "Shut the fuck up, Maci, the whole fucking tour is going to hear you. Fuck you for thinking I don't care and that I'm going to go fuck other girls. You can go fuck yourself for saying that to me," he said harshly in my face. "If you think I didn't care about marrying you, I would have gotten an annulment by now."

We didn't speak for the rest of the time I was there. I hung out in my bunk alone for two hours before I had to go to the airport while Austin fucked around with his friends. He came to get me and took the cab with me so he could say goodbye. He told the cabby to keep the meter running as he got out with me.

"Call me when you get home," he said and pulled me into a hug. I didn't return the hug as he squeezed me tightly. "Why aren't you hugging me back?" I shook my head and he pulled away from me, "Maci, what's wrong?"

"If I hold onto you I won't let go even thought I hate you right now," I began tearing up.

Austin pulled me into another hug and kissed my head, "I'm sorry for earlier. I don't want you to be sad, I'm the biggest asshole in the world at the worst times."

I nodded and sniffled, "I know you are."

"Alright, you gotta get going," he let go of me once more and cupped my face. "I love you so much, baby. So, so, so, sooo much and I just want you to be happy."

We kissed goodbye and parted ways. Once I was home I showered and crawled into my bed to sulk. I missed my other half and felt empty without him next to me. I decided to check twitter to get my head off of it until I scrolled past Austin's last tweet. This was the second hardest goodbye I've ever had to say.