Status: On hold
Infection
.4
The morning burns bright and insistent against eyes that really should’ve had more sleep. She rubs them with closed fists as she stumbles into her school, bag strap pressing into her shoulder. People push past her, the bell ringing something terrible in her ears.
Slowly, she meanders to her class with cold-bitten feet and fingertips numb against her face. There he is, standing and smiling, talking as though nothing has changed and she is not present at all. After all, she’s just a shadow in the back: she is a just a small girl, hiding under the cover of darkness, where light doesn’t glow and blood is welcomed.
And the day passes with a sheet of clouds blanketing the sky until she sees her friend and just slightly, the clouds part. Her friend, Benji, smiles and hugs her – he is one of two people she doesn’t panic in her mind during hugs. It is a gift, a beautiful gift, one that can give her a small sense normalcy.
But sadness cracks her heart as Benji turns and smiles and hugs him too, even though he knows what happened. It stings every time she watches it, and it feels like bitterness and hurt bleeding together inside her.
Slowly, she lowers her face to stare at the ground without seeing, images screeching through her mind. One: Benji and him, together and so much happier, free from the gloomy cloud that she is. Two: Her, as she scratches a small spot of skin until the beads of blood surface and sting with an itchy sensation that is actually more painful as the discomfit blends into sharpness in a harmony that’s surprisingly beautiful. When she opens her eyes, both images fade away.
She sighs and walks away from her best friend, wincing as the images flash in her mind again.
Slowly, she meanders to her class with cold-bitten feet and fingertips numb against her face. There he is, standing and smiling, talking as though nothing has changed and she is not present at all. After all, she’s just a shadow in the back: she is a just a small girl, hiding under the cover of darkness, where light doesn’t glow and blood is welcomed.
And the day passes with a sheet of clouds blanketing the sky until she sees her friend and just slightly, the clouds part. Her friend, Benji, smiles and hugs her – he is one of two people she doesn’t panic in her mind during hugs. It is a gift, a beautiful gift, one that can give her a small sense normalcy.
But sadness cracks her heart as Benji turns and smiles and hugs him too, even though he knows what happened. It stings every time she watches it, and it feels like bitterness and hurt bleeding together inside her.
Slowly, she lowers her face to stare at the ground without seeing, images screeching through her mind. One: Benji and him, together and so much happier, free from the gloomy cloud that she is. Two: Her, as she scratches a small spot of skin until the beads of blood surface and sting with an itchy sensation that is actually more painful as the discomfit blends into sharpness in a harmony that’s surprisingly beautiful. When she opens her eyes, both images fade away.
She sighs and walks away from her best friend, wincing as the images flash in her mind again.