Don't Tell Me You've Gone Astray

What am I supposed to say? Mikey and Alicia leave us alone, making up excuses as to why they have to go home. I'm trapped. I can't run away. It won't solve anything. I already learned that lesson the hard way.

"Hi, Gerard."

"Hi Bert. It's nice to see you again." I mutter, trying to sound somewhat convincing.

Getting over Frank is hard enough. I don't need this right now.

"Look." He says, getting straight to the point. "Mikey told me why you left Jersey."

I bite my lip, waiting for him to finish. He doesn't say anything else.

"I left because Frank found out."

He already knows this, but I confirm it for him anyway.

We sit in silence for a while. The server comes back and asks if we need anything else. We both decline her offer. I'm now nibbling at the tip of my straw.

"So you got scared and left?"

I nod. "Scared" isn't the word I would have used, but it's close enough.

"What were you afraid of, Gerard?"

I don't know.

"I left because I didn't want to hurt Frank anymore."

"You never told me you were with Frank."

He's right. I never told him. I should have. Then again, I shouldn't have been with Bert in the first place.

"I know. I was wrong. I'm sorry."

I can't read the look on Bert's face. Somewhere in the bar, a patron whistles at one of the female servers.

"You used me, Gerard."

I never thought of it that way until now. I'm a shitty excuse for a human being. For what feels like the millionth time in a week, I apologize. He stands up and starts to leave. I follow him. I don't know why. There's nothing left for me to say. I reach out and put my hand on his shoulder. He turns around and swings his fist at me, knocking me in the jaw. A group of men cheer and shout "Yeah!" We ignore them. I touch my jaw. It hurts.

Bert is now in the parking lot. Despite him hitting me, I'm still chasing after him. I don't know what I'll do when I catch up with him. I just don't want to let him get away.

"Bert! Stop! Listen to me! Wait!" I call out. He's already getting in his car.

He drives away. It's over.

"What happened to your jaw?" Mikey asks, looking at it closely.

It's purple and swollen now. Luckily, it's not broken or dislocated.

"What do you think happened? I told you it wasn't a good idea to invite Bert."

Mikey looks guilty.

"I'm sorry, Gee. I thought it would help."

I can't stay mad at him knowing he had good intentions.

He leaves the room for a minute and brings back some ice to put on my jaw. I thank him.

"Sorry my apartment is a mess. I've been so busy lately." He says, trying to start conversation.

"It's fine. Mine is worse." It hurts to talk.

"So, Bert hit you?"

"Yeah."

"I'm really sorry."

He looks like he's going to cry. I reach out and ruffle his hair a little.

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know it was going to happen." I reassure him.

I have to forgive Mikey. I've already lost three friends over this. I don't need to make things worse again.