The Fear Is Paralyzing

Quinn was in the middle of a dilemma. Ever since Kris had broken up with her, he had completely ignored her. If he saw her in the hallway at work as she was going up to her office, he looked straight ahead, refusing to even glance in her direction. And, when she had called him to try to clear things up, it had gone straight to his voicemail. Quinn had contemplated leaving him a message, but she didn't want to be that girl, the one that was so desperate after a guy broke up with her to try and get him back, so she had refrained.

Now, she didn't know what to do. On the one hand, she thought about putting everything into her work, even more so than she had before. She could focus everything on trying to be a better team owner. But, that was what had gotten her in trouble in the first place. She had spent too much of her time and energy on her job and had given Kris any attention. She thought he would just understand, but she had been greatly mistaken.

As she sat in her office, she just stared at her computer screen. She hadn't even turned her computer on. She didn't want to be there right now. But she also didn't want to be at home or anyplace else, really. She didn't know where she wanted to be. "Working hard over there?" she heard a deep voice say, and she jumped at the noise, not even noticing that Mario had entered the room.

She looked up at him, forcing herself to give him a small smile. "I can't say that I am right now," she admitted. She saw a look of concern on his face, and she continued. "Just not concentrating too well," she told him, not going into the root of her problem.

"I see," he nodded his head in understanding. "Anything I can help you with?"

Quinn shook her head. "No, I'm fine," she lied to his face. He didn't say anything but again nodded his head as he began to turn around to go into his office, when she suddenly called out his name, stopping him. He slowly turned around to look at her.

"Yes?" he asked her, walking back over to her desk.

"How do you do it?" she asked him, and he looked at her puzzled, not really knowing what she was talking about. "How do you balance everything? Your job with your outside life, with your wife and kids?" she inquired.

Mario put a hand on the back of one of the chairs that sat in front of Quinn's desk. "It's hard," he told her. "I had to learn pretty early on how to handle it, even before I became an owner. When I was just a player, it was hard. And my wife, well we were just dating back then, but she didn't always understand how much I gave up when I was playing so that I could be with her. But, at the same time, it didn't look like I was giving much up," he chuckled.

Quinn cocked her head to one side. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, we would get into fights when I couldn't drop everything to be with her, and I would always argue that I'd give up going out with the guys every night to go on dates with her, and we'd just fight. At the same time, she was giving up a lot to be with me, too. It's hard dating a player, or an owner, someone who devotes the majority of their time to their job. But, in the end, we cared about each other more, and we wanted it to work," Mario explained. "And, the longer that I was with her, the more that became important to me. And, then we had our kids, and that was a priority, too. We've had some rough times, but we've always come out stronger in the end. We've always learned from every fight."

Quinn smiled at him. "How did you know she was the one?" she asked him. She no longer was asking for her own benefit, for advice about Kris, she just truly wanted to know.

"When I started wanting to spend more time with her than I did out with the guys. And, the day I realized it was the day that I couldn't wait for practice to get finished so that I could go home to her. That was the day I realized I loved her." Quinn's smile grew at his story, which she thought was so sweet, but she didn't say anything to him. "Why do you ask, Quinn? Are you having some issues in your own life like that?"

"Something like that," Quinn admitted. "He's mad that I spend so much time with my work." She didn't know why she was telling him this, but she knew there was no way he could know it was Kris, so what harm did it have asking him for his advice?

"He'll get over it eventually," Mario told her with a soft smile. "Guys always realize they're wrong in the end," he added with a soft laugh, and she knew he was speaking from experience. "Don't worry about it too much right now, he'll come crawling back, apologizing," he assured her.

Quinn couldn't help but laugh a little at the fact that Mario was saying this about one of his own players without him knowing it. "Thanks Mario," she told him sincerely. He nodded his head, as he walked out of her office, back to his own.

She sat there, tapping her foot on the floor, thinking about what she should do when an idea popped into her head. Mario had said that Kris would come back apologizing eventually, but why should she wait on that? Maybe she should be the one to apologize to him. Before Mario's story, she had never really considered everything Kris was giving up to be with her, and maybe she needed to be a little more empathetic with him. She had tried calling him, but he wouldn't pick up. This time she wasn't going to give him a choice.

***

Quinn found herself sitting outside of Kris's place, waiting on him to get home from wherever he was. The longer she sat there, the more bad scenarios popped into her mind. What if he came back with another girl? Or a teammate? How was she going to explain her presence there? The knots in her stomach were getting bigger and bigger as she kept thinking of more bad scenarios.

She sat in the lobby of his building, staring at the front door, waiting to see him walk through. She had been there well over an hour and a half, and she was starting to think this wasn't a good idea after all. But, then he finally came through the door. She almost didn't even notice him. He came in behind a family, holding the door open for them as they carried in grocery bags. As they thanked him, he gave them a quick head nod before holding the elevator door open for them before getting in himself.

Quinn had practically sprinted to the elevator, and fortunately for her, the mother of the family had noticed her coming their way and had stuck her foot out so the elevator doors wouldn't shut. As Quinn slipped inside and thanked the woman, she glanced over at Kris, who saw who she was and then looked straight ahead at the doors of the elevator. The doors opened at the floor for the family, and they got out, leaving just Kris and Quinn alone in the elevator.

"Please just say something to me," Quinn begged. "You won't answer my phone calls."

"Oh, so now you know how that feels," Kris said lowly, and Quinn shut her eyes, taking a deep breath, knowing she deserved that comment.

"Kris, I'm sorry," she said sincerely as the elevator doors opened on Kris's floor. He didn't say anything but instead slid out the doors, walking rather quickly to his door. Quinn rushed to stay up to speed with him. "Look, I know you're pissed at me, but will you please just talk to me? You can't just break up with me and not even listen to what I have to say!" she exclaimed as he reached his door, putting his key into the lock.

She was surprised when he stopped his motions, turning around to look at her. "I was trying to get you to talk to me for days, Quinn. For days. And, you were too busy. So why should I listen to you now?" he asked.

Quinn didn't say anything at first, letting the question just sink in. It was a legitimate question, even if his tone of voice was rather rude. "Because I'm not ready to give up," she said softly.

Kris didn't reply, but instead returned to unlocking his door, walking inside. However, he left the door open, and Quinn took it as a sign that she was allowed to follow him inside. He threw his keys down on the table as he turned around to look at her. "Quinn," he began, but she cut him off.

"No, Kris, let me talk first," she said, and he quieted up, allowing her to do the talking. "I’m sorry. I know I was a bitch who was so focused on her work that I didn't even think about you or your feelings. You know that this job is important to me, for me to make it work, and that I'm giving it my all to try to feel somewhat competent at it. But, that's no excuse to just ignore you. You're the only reason I am where I am. You've done everything for me. You've explained the sport of hockey to me, you've given me all the support and encouragement I could ever ask for when I'm not getting it from the majority of my family. You are the reason I haven't given the team up. Kris, I wouldn't be where I am today without you. And, you didn't deserve to be treated the way I treated you. I know that you have a job that is your everything, and that you work so hard every single day with it. And yet, you found time to be with me. And, I should have done the same with you. I'm really sorry, Kris. But please, don't give up on me. On us."

Kris sighed, and Quinn was worried that he was going to tell her to leave. "I know your job is important."

"But not as…" she began before the tables were turned and Kris quieted her this time.

"You had your time to talk, now it's my turn," he stated, and Quinn just nodded her head. "I know your job is important to you," he repeated. "I just wanted to be important to you, too." Quinn wanted to interrupt him, tell him that he is important to her, and she was sorry that he didn't know that. But she didn't, allowing him to continue. "Here's the thing, Quinn. You're important to me. Too important for me to let go," he told her, and she held her breath, waiting on him to finish. "The last week and a half has been hell for me. I'd rather have you a little bit of time than no time at all." He paused, and Quinn wasn't sure if he was done or just gathering his thoughts. "Okay, you can talk now," he said with a soft laugh.

"You are important to me," she told him. "If you weren't, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be having any trouble with my work because I’m thinking about you. Kris, I'm going to make a better effort to show you just how important you are to me," she told him. She saw him open his mouth to say something, but she didn't let him. Instead, she pressed her lips against his, putting a hand on the back of his head and pulling it towards her as she deepened the kiss even further.

Kris slowly pulled away. "Well that's one way to do it," he said jokingly. She just smiled at him, kissing him again as his hands went around her waist.

Taking their time, they somehow managed to find their way back to Kris's bedroom and into his bed, a trail of clothing left along the way.