The Fear Is Paralyzing

Kris watched as Quinn quietly walked into the bathroom of their hotel room. She hadn’t spoken a word since she had said goodbye to his parents at dinner, and she hadn’t said anything to Kris since he had told her who Darcy was. He knew she wasn’t happy with him.

He waited several minutes for her to come out of the bathroom, but he was beginning to think she had gone in there simply to hide from him. He walked over to the door and gently knocked. “Quinn?” he called out. She didn’t say anything, and Kris continued. “Quinn, please, talk to me,” he said, a hint of desperation in his voice.

Again, she said nothing. Kris knew it was a long shot, but he tried the door handle, shocked when it turned. He pushed it open and saw Quinn sitting on the floor, her back pressed up against the bathtub. She was looking at the ground, and she didn’t even look up when Kris walked inside. She didn’t acknowledge when he sat down on the floor next to her.

“Quinn, talk to me,” Kris requested, grabbing her hand gently in his. He half expected her to pull it away, but he was pleasantly surprised when she let him touch her. “Please,” he added.

She finally turned her head to look at him. “Tell me about her,” she said quietly. Her face held her sad emotions, and it broke Kris’s heart that she was hurting.

“Quinn, there’s nothing to know,” he shook his head. “She’s not important.”

“She was at one point,” Quinn countered. “I mean, you asked her to marry you, right? Tell me about her.”

Kris sighed. He knew Quinn wouldn’t let this go. But, he really didn’t want to talk about Darcy. She was a part of his past, and he wished that she could stay there forever. “I met her when I first started playing in Pittsburgh. She’s from around here, but she was going to school there. We started dating, and I thought I was in love with her so I proposed.”

Quinn looked up into his eyes. “What happened? Why didn’t you get married?” she asked.

“She left me,” he stated simply.

He waited for her to ask for more details, but she didn’t. “You said you thought you loved her?” she asked instead. “Why did you say it like that? You didn’t love her?”

Kris shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe I did,” he replied. “But, it’s not like I feel about you. I love you, Quinn. How I felt about Darcy is nowhere near like I feel about you,” he told her. She looked up at him, and Kris thought she was going to cry. “I want to forget that Darcy exists. All I want is to spend my time with you right now.”

“You can’t forget she exists. You’re meeting up with her tomorrow,” she reminded him, and Kris groaned. “What do you think she wants?” she asked.

“I have no idea,” he answered honestly. “And, I’d rather not find out, but I know if I don’t go, she’ll find me.”

“I think I’m going to go to bed,” Quinn said, suddenly changing subjects and standing up off of the floor and heading towards the bed.

Kris jumped up, reaching out and grabbing her arm just above her wrist. “Quinn, are you mad at me?” he asked as she spun around, wondering why he had stopped her. She didn’t say anything as she shook her head no, but didn’t look up at him. “Yes, you are. Quinn, I’m sorry,” he apologized for what felt like the millionth time since they had left the restaurant.

“I’m not mad,” Quinn spoke. “I’m just...I don’t even know, Kris. I can’t be mad at something...someone in your past. I’m just...I guess disappointed you didn’t tell me about her. I’m not over here waiting for a proposal, I’m really not. But to know that you were engaged to someone else...that you loved her enough to propose...” she trailed off, trying to compose her thoughts.

“Quinn, I already told you that I love you. I don’t know that I ever loved her. And, if you need a proposal to know that--” he began before she cut him off, spinning around so she was looking at him.

“I don’t need a proposal!” she exclaimed. “I’m not looking for one, Kris! I just can’t believe you never told me about her. She clearly meant something to you at some point.”

“Quinn,” he started to apologize again.

“I don’t think I can stay tomorrow,” Quinn began, and Kris looked at her confused, not knowing what she was talking about. “I can’t stay here to hear what she has to say to you.”

“I don’t want to hear what she has to say!” Kris interrupted.

“You have to,” Quinn said quietly, putting her hand gently on his wrist. “You need to hear what she has to say. But, I think I’m going to go home.”

“Home?” Kris questioned. “To Pittsburgh?”

She nodded her head. “You need to deal with this, and I need to go home and deal with Dean. You can call me tomorrow and tell me what she had to say to you.”

Kris looked at her incredulously. “You’re not seriously going home, are you? I’m going with you then!”

Quinn shook her head. “No, you need to hear what she has to say. Maybe it’s important.”

“You’re important,” Kris countered. “Quinn, I love you. She really means nothing to me. That’s why I never even mentioned her. She’s not important.”

He knew he wasn’t going to change her mind about going home, and he sighed as he watched her walk over to her suitcase. He couldn’t believe she was going back to Pittsburgh, but he wasn’t going to fight her anymore. He’d listen to what Darcy had to say tomorrow and then he was catching the first flight back to be with the love of his life.

●●●

Quinn wasn’t sure she had made the right decision, running back home away from her problem known as Darcy. Kris had tried to convince her that Darcy meant nothing to him, and she believed him. But, Darcy had clearly been a big part of his life at one point, and he had failed to even mention her to him, and that hurt.

She wished she knew the whole story about her. Kris hadn’t said much except that they had dated when he first started playing for the Penguins and he had proposed to her. And, then she had left him. But, what had that meant? Why did she leave him? There were so many unanswered questions.

She had thought about going into work and making sure Dean hadn’t tried to weasel his way inside somehow, but her curiosity about Darcy got the better of her, and instead found herself driving in the opposite direction of the arena.

A short while later, she parked her car, going up to Dani and Tyler’s place, hoping she could find some of the answers she was looking for. “Hey Quinn,” Dani answered the door with a smile. “You’re back early, aren’t you? I thought you and Kris weren’t coming back til next week.”

“Yeah, that had been the plan,” Quinn said as she walked inside.

“Uh oh, what happened?” Danielle asked, concerned.

Quinn saw Tyler in the kitchen, and she wondered if Kris had filled him in on her leaving. He turned around, seeing her there, and his reaction showed that apparently Kris hadn’t told him. “Quinn? What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping to talk to you,” she said pointing at him.

“Oh shit, what did Kris do this time?” he asked, only half-joking.

“What can you tell me about Darcy?” she asked, and the smile that was on his lips instantly fell. “So I’m assuming you know who I’m talking about,” Quinn said.

Danielle was looking back and forth between Tyler and Quinn. “What? Who’s Darcy?” she asked, and Quinn realized Darcy must have been before Danielle’s time with Tyler.

“Darcy was Kris’s fiancée,” Quinn cleared up for her.

Danielle’s eyes widened. “What?” she questioned loudly. “When the hell was Kris engaged?” she asked, looking at Tyler, who could feel both girls’ eyes boring into him. “Tyler. Talk. Now,” Dani ordered after a few moments of silence.

Tyler cleared his throat before speaking. “Yes, Kris was engaged before. But, it was a long time ago, and she didn’t mean anything to him like you do, Quinn.”

“She clearly meant something to him if he proposed. Please just tell me the whole story on her,” she said with a hint of desperation in her voice.

“I think it’s Tanger’s place to share,” Tyler began.

“He won’t. That’s why I’m here. Please, Ty,” she said.

Tyler rubbed his temples before he responded. “Kris started dating Darcy our first year up in Pittsburgh. She was from back in his hometown going to school here. Her family owns some winery and she’s pretty loaded. Kris fell hard and fast. I don’t know if he was ever in love with her, not like he is with you, Quinn, maybe more of a puppy love kind of thing. I think she kinda strung him along to get what she wanted. She’d ask him to buy her a diamond necklace and she’d have it the next day. Tanger couldn’t say no to her, even though she could easily buy anything for herself with her parents’ money. Like I said, he thought he was in love with her, and he proposed. She said yes, took the ring, and then took off. She was apparently seeing some guy back at home at the same time,” Tyler explained.

Quinn shut her eyes, unable to believe someone had treated Kris that way. “No wonder he didn’t want to talk about it,” she mumbled.

“He dated between her and you but never anything serious. But, I see the way he looks at you. He’s in love with you,” Tyler told her.

Quinn gave him a smile. “I know that, I never doubted that,” she told him. “I just wish he would have told me that he was engaged before. But, I get why he didn’t now.”

“How did she even come up? How did you find out about her?” Dani wondered.

“We ran into her at dinner. Well, more like she came running up to Kris and was all over him,” Quinn replied.

Tyler rolled his eyes. “Sounds like Darcy.”

“She told Kris she wanted to talk to him, so he stayed there today to do that. He didn’t want to, he wanted to come back with me. But, I was upset and just wanted to come back on my own. Plus, I thought he should listen to what she has to say,” Quinn shrugged her shoulders.

“Something tells me Kris is going to need you after this so called meeting,” Tyler said, and Quinn instantly felt guilty about leaving Kris behind to deal with Darcy on his own.