The Fear Is Paralyzing

Quinn walked out of Consol Energy Center, seeing Claire standing outside her car, playing on her phone. “How long have you been here for?” Quinn asked her, walking over to her. “You could have come inside!” she told her. Quinn had texted her the night before, asking her if she wanted to go get lunch today because she needed to talk to her, and Claire had immediately said yes. So, Quinn had told her to meet her at the arena, and they’d figure out where to go from there.
 
“Quinn, I couldn’t figure my way around inside there if I wanted to!” Claire laughed at her, throwing her phone in her purse and opening up her car door, getting inside, as Quinn did the same thing on the passenger’s side. “I figured it would be much safer to stay out here and just wait on you. Besides, I got to see all the players come out this way,” she added, giving Quinn a wink. Quinn laughed and rolled her eyes at her sister-in-law. “I saw your man, by the way. He looked good,” she continued, smiling, as she started her car up. “Where do you want to go to lunch?”
 
“Chipotle?” Quinn suggested, saying the first thing that popped into her mind.
 
“Oooh yeah! That sounds good!” Claire said, putting her car in drive and making her way out of the parking lot.
 
“And, Kris is not my man,” Quinn said, causing Claire to give her a look that showed that she clearly didn’t believe her. “But, I did want to talk to you about him.”
 
A grin spread across Claire’s face. “What about him?” she asked excitedly, pulling into the parking lot of Chipotle as the two girls got out of the car. “C’mon, Quinn! Don’t leave me hanging!” she said, as they walked to the door, Claire holding it open for the younger woman, letting her go inside first.
 
“He kissed me,” Quinn admitted.
 
“What!?” Claire asked loudly, causing a couple of people who were sitting down eating their food to look over in their direction. “Sorry,” she apologized to no one in particular before looking at Quinn. “What?” she repeated in a more sensible tone this time.
 
Quinn put up her index finger, indicating for Claire to wait a minute while she ordered her food. She turned around to look at Claire. “I’ve got your lunch covered,” she said, moving down the line to the cash register, paying for both hers and Claire’s food. The two went to find a seat, and Quinn picked one in the back away from everybody else who was currently eating, wanting some privacy when she had this conversation with Claire.
 
“Okay, continue now!” Claire said excitedly. Quinn took a huge bite of her burrito as she said it. She tried to chew, realizing too late that she had taken too big of a bite. She continued chewing for several moments, causing Claire to get wide eyes at her, waiting on her to continue her story.
 
Quinn finally finished chewing and swallowed the piece of burrito, taking a sip of her pop before finally responding. “He kissed me,” she repeated what she had said earlier. “He came over to help me learn more about hockey, and we were talking about how I used to do gymnastics, and I told him about my accident, and I got really emotional about it like I always do, and I felt really stupid, and then he kissed me,” she explained.
 
“Oh my God, Quinn!” Claire said excitedly. “Then what happened?” she asked, sitting on the edge of her seat.
 
“Then he apologized a million times, and we just kinda let it go and continued with the lesson,” Quinn shrugged, going back to her burrito to take another bite.

“So are you two like together now or what?” Claire asked her.
 
“No, I don’t know what we are. We haven’t really talked about it. I mean, I’m his boss, it’s not like I can date him!” Quinn said logically. “I’m sure that’s a big no-no! Owner-player relationships,” she said with a light laugh, thinking about how ridiculous it sounded. She was sure this had never come up in the NHL before.
 
“I say go for it,” Claire said casually, shrugging her shoulders. “He’s a cute guy. But, what do I know, I don’t own an NHL team. How’s that going, by the way?” she asked, changing subjects, something Quinn was happy about. She needed to tell someone what had happened between her and Kris, but she didn’t want to keep talking about it for hours on end. Besides, Claire had already given her opinion, she thought Quinn should go for it with Kris, something Quinn wasn’t so sure about.
 
Quinn sighed. “It’s hard,” she answered honestly. “I’m trying, but it’s just hard. There’s so much to learn. It’s just all…” she trailed off, trying to think of the right word to describe it. “Overwhelming, you know? And, I’ve got so many people trying to give me input on what to do and I just don’t know who to listen to,” she vented. This was what she loved about Claire and the friendship that they had. She was able to talk to her and be completely honest without being fearful of being judged. Claire would always just listen and tell her exactly what was on her mind, even if it wasn’t exactly what Quinn wanted to hear, though it was always what she needed to hear.
 
“Who’s telling you what?” Claire inquired.
 
“Well, you already know about Dean thinking that I should give the team to him. But, he just wants it probably just to sell it to get some quick money. And, my mom and Garrett think I should give the team to Dean, too. They think he’d be the better owner. Then Noah’s telling me to do whatever I want to do, that he’ll support me no matter what. And, Mario tells me that he thinks I could be a good owner, that I’ve got the business sense that an owner needs. I just don’t know who to listen to or believe.”
 
“If the other owner tells you that you’ll be a good owner, then believe him. He’s the one that’s going to know better than anyone else,” Claire told her plainly. “You know you have to ignore Dean. He’s only out for himself. And, I don’t know why your parents side with him and don’t see how manipulative he is, but ignore them, too. You can do this, Quinn.”
 
Claire had said it with such confidence that Quinn almost believed her. “Thanks, Claire,” she smiled at her.
 
***
 
Kris sat on his couch, whatever was on television right now simply being used as background noise, as his mind was racing, unable to forget what had happened two nights ago. He hadn’t talked to Quinn since he had kissed her, but that was because the team had had a game the previous night. She had come down to the locker room afterwards and said a quick congratulations to everyone, him included, but he hadn’t actually gotten to talk to her.
 
He had thought about texting her or calling her, but he had decided against it, wanting her to be the one to make the first move. He didn’t want to bother her if she wanted space, so instead, he was torturing himself right now, just replaying that moment in his mind.
 
He didn’t know what had come over him, why he had kissed her. She was so vulnerable and he had taken advantage of that moment to kiss her. And, it had been amazing to him. He’d felt a spark of something, though he didn’t know if she had felt the same way. And, as the moments slipped by and he didn’t hear anything from her, he was starting to feel that she hadn’t felt anything.
 
The more he thought about it, the more he felt that he was making a much bigger deal out of this than he needed to. It had only been two days, after all. It wasn’t like it had been two weeks. And, both of them had been busy, him with practice and games, and her still getting her grips as owner.
 
His phone began ringing, startling him, and he glanced at it to see Quinn’s name on it. “Bonjour?” he answered, his native language taking over without him thinking about it.
 
“Uh, I don’t remember any of the French that I learned in high school except the dirty words,” Quinn chuckled on the other end.
 
“Sorry,” he apologized. “It’s a habit,” he explained.
 
“It’s okay,” Quinn assured him. “I was wondering if you were busy right now,” she said, getting to the reason she had called him in the first place.
 
“No, I’m not doing too much right now.”
 
“Are you home? Can I come over?” she asked him.
 
Kris ran a hand through his hair. “Sure,” he answered.
 
“Okay, I’ll be over there soon,” she said, hanging up the phone.

Kris looked at the television, but he still didn’t process what was on it. His mind was wondering what exactly Quinn was going to say to him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous. What was the worst that could happen? And, then it suddenly dawned on him. She was the owner. She could get him traded.
 
He was still mulling over that when Quinn got there fifteen minutes later. He opened the door for her, letting her inside. He gave her a small smile as she said hello and made her way over to the couch. He wanted her just to say how she was feeling about the kiss and whether she was getting ready to get rid of him for kissing her, but she didn’t mention any of it. “I was hoping you could give me another hockey lesson?” she asked with a smile on her face.
 
“Uh, sure,” Kris nodded his head, surprised she was able to just pretend like nothing happened between the two of them. And, maybe that was what she wanted them to do, to pretend like it had never happened.
 
“Is everything okay?” she asked him, realizing his demeanor wasn’t the same that it normally was.
 
“Yeah,” Kris told her, though it clearly wasn’t. She stared at him for several moments, neither of them saying anything. Kris finally broke the silence. “What?” he asked, a smile spreading across his face as she kept staring into his eyes.
 
“I was hoping you’d do one other thing for me,” she replied.
 
“What’s that?”
 
“Kiss me?” It came out more as a question than a statement, and Kris had to look into her eyes to see if she really meant it. She was biting her lip nervously, obviously unsure of how he was going to respond.
 
“You want me to kiss you?” Kris asked, unsure himself. Quinn nodded her head, not saying anything, but continuing to look into his eyes. Kris closed the gap between them, placing his lips on hers with another gentle kiss. He slowly pulled away, looking down at her.
 
“Please tell me you feel something, too,” she said quietly, and Kris suddenly felt relief rush through him as he realized they were on the same page.
 
“Of course I do,” he told her, and a smile spread across her face, as she bit her lip once again. Kris was learning really quickly that that was a little quirk about her, she always seemed to bite her lip when she was either nervous or excited. He didn’t know which emotion she was feeling right now, maybe a mixture of the two.
 
“So what do we do from here?” she asked him.
 
“Do you want to go on a date with me?” he asked awkwardly. He didn’t know how to approach this right now. All of his past relationship had just sort of happened. They never had to talk about it or figure anything out.
 
Quinn nodded her head. “I think that’s a good start,” she said with a light laugh. It got quiet for a moment before Quinn continued. “But, um…” she trailed off.
 
“What?” Kris asked.
 
“Well, I wasn’t really kidding when I asked you before if we could have another hockey lesson,” she laughed.
 
Kris joined in with her laughter. “Yeah, I’ll teach you some more,” he said, the two of them at ease around each other once again.