Behind the Silk Curtain

I flailed underneath him, attempting to push him off. Okay, I had experienced something like that before but it was when Yvette had gotten me too drunk for my liking and I ended up in the kitchen with Daniel. He had never let it down since and had been on my case for the last two or so years and I had continuously rejected him.

Maybe this was the chance that I needed to get Daniel off my back for sure but I'm not sure that would be the best thing for me right now. The last thing I wanted was someone I was interested in. Besides, Thomas was someone who suited this kind of spontaneous action that I was totally unused to. He could do whatever he wanted, really, and everyone would be okay with it. Everyone but me who just wanted to get him off me.

That, however, isn't what happened. Although I flailed at the start, he managed to calm me down and pin me against the wall like he did in my bedroom last night. His fingers were about my face, pulling me in as his body moved seductively against my own. My breath got caught up in my throat, mouth hanging open to try and take in all the air that I couldn't take in.

Thomas was the same, his mouth open and hovering over mine. We stood there like gaping fish, neither one of us able to make a single move. Through the slits that my eyes made, I watched him move closer and closer but unable to make a definitive move. It was then that I cast all inhibitions aside and closed the gap between us.

Although his lips were small, that didn't mean that he was passionate -- the most passionate person that I had ever met. I could only see one side of his passion now, his physical passion, but from the conversations that I had with him earlier, his passion for Shakespeare and the stage was starting to seep through.

As his lips began to move against mine, something at the back of my mind started to nibble at me. He was an actor, right? What would stop him from acting this whole thing out? He could have been drawing me into this trap since I had met him yesterday morning, trying to get me into bed and then dump me later.

I tried to push this thought away, but it didn't seem to go away. It stayed with me, growing with intensity as our passion for each other started to grow. I made some sort of ghastly noise and with a shove, I pushed him off and moved away from the wall where he fell against it, leaning his forehead against the wall for support.

I hovered over to the other side of the room and squatting down, holding my head in my hands and thinking of what had just happened. I was in a room of someone that I barely knew who had offered a place for me to stay that as a million times better then my own but had also had made me lose one of my three jobs that helped me survive in this cruel world that I had been thrust into.

My vision became blurry, eyes searching the carpeted grounding front of me. The room about me seemed so big and looming that I started to feel so small and insignificant in it. I took a sharp in take of breath, my lips thinning. I could feel all the colour fading from my features as I felt a cold shudder run through me that caused me to start shaking. What was I doing to myself?

From what I could hear, Thomas had moved but not towards me in which I had been eternally grateful for. He had opened the door to the bathroom that he had shared with Stacey and had moved into her bedroom where she screamed out in annoyance. Clearly, from what I could hear, she was changing and was half naked when he walked in.

I couldn't help but smile a little, knowing that he just didn't care and I could hear him saying that no one, especially with a body like hers, should be ashamed of who they are underneath their clothes. That was easy for him to say because what I could feel underneath his pressing body was utter perfection -- despite what he called himself earlier.

I had basically freaked out over an experience I hadn't had in a long time and one that I wasn't comfortable with. Yvette and Thomas had hit the nail right on the head…I was a workaholic and there was no denying that. I had basically denied myself any pleasure because I thought I didn't deserve it. I was fighting for my right to live and I basically thought that I didn't have time to invest any of my time, that could have been use for sleeping, in pleasure.

Thomas, however, spent quite a lot of his time on pleasure and it was clear in the way that he kissed me -- and in the way that he loved his craft. Even now, I could see that he was going to go far but I had to save that judgement for our rehearsal for the audition -- if he still wanted to audition with me, of course.

I doubted that he would now, considering the amount of times that I had rejected him. Rejected him? More like I rejected myself of what my body was desiring for such a long time. Asexuality was something that I couldn't force myself into for so long. I did feel desires and I wasn't completely oblivious to them like I thought I was.

I eventually dragged myself to my feet, running my hand over my face with a deep sigh. It was then that I realised that I had been crying. How was I crying and not notice? Tears stained my cheeks, my eyes and lips felt puffy and my nose was red. I wiped my face clean with my sleeve and turned to face the room -- to face Thomas who stood by the door to the bathroom.

"She's moving out in the morning after her little 'get together' with her friends," he said, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched me bring myself back together. "She's inviting more friends over, unfortunately. Guess we are going to have to go to university to practice."

I nodded, trying to still reign my emotions in. I could tell that he wanted to make his way over to me and comfort me but he held himself back with some restraint. Instead, I made my way over to him and slipped my arms around him and pressing my features into him. I closed my eyes and let myself be calmed by his presence.

He was stiff when I touched him, unsure of how to react to my sudden embrace after what had just happened. Soon enough, though, he let himself hug me, embrace me like someone who truly cared about me. I hadn't felt something like that since my mother died. Oh God, why did I have to remind myself of that?

All my emotions welled up in me again as I felt tears start to spill down my cheeks once more and stain his t-shirt. Realising what I was doing, I pulled myself away from him and wiped my eyes, apologising profusely.

"What are you so sorry for?" he said. "It's like every time you experience some human reaction or emotion, you have to pull yourself away, draw yourself in. Acting is all about being emotional and you can't even manage a hug without crying?"

I laughed, finishing wiping my eyes, when I said, "You've just caught me at a really bad time. I've been keeping everything so bottled up for so long that it's just come out now."

"Better now then never," he said, extending his arms to me once more as he embraced me and planted a kiss upon my head. "Now, how about some breakfast?"

With that, he whisked me into the kitchen and helped me up onto one of the stools when he saw me struggling to even climb on top of them. It wasn't like I was even short, I was nearly as tall as him and if I wore heels, I would be. I was just struggling against everything now because of emotions. Damn emotions…always got in the way of everything.

I watched him move about the kitchen gracefully, pulling out a glass from one of the glass cupboards and pour me a glass of orange juice. I accepted it gratefully and sipped at it as I watched him hover about the kitchen, taking out the ingredients he would be needing to make a breakfast for the both of us.

"What are you making?" I asked as I watched him puling out a frying pan, bowls and whatever else he needed. He held up some eggs, bacon, and bread towards me and I shook my head. A disappointed expression pained his face. "No meat for me. Don't like the stuff."

"Vegetarian?" he said, setting down the bacon and pushing them aside with a sigh.

"Not really," I replied. "Just don't eat red meat. Chicken and fish on occasion but I prefer not to eat them. If that makes any sense at all."

"It's going to be interesting living together, then," he said as he started to make an omelette filled with Greek cheese, eggs, milk, and something else I didn't see him take out of the fridge. "Because I love my meat."

"Fine with me," I said. "Eat as many steaks as you want around me because it won't make me want to eat it."

Smiling, he began to cook our meal in silence. The only noises that were made were from Stacey's bedroom as she angrily moved about it and cleaned up her act. I heard her mobile phone ring and her picking it up angrily, yelling at it only to have the response from the neighbours again for her to shut the hell up. They would be so glad to see her leave tomorrow morning because I knew for a fact that Thomas and I wouldn't even make that much noise.

She then stormed out of her bedroom with a suitcase full of things where she made some comment about how that wasn't even half of her stuff. I raised an eyebrow as my eyes followed her out of the apartment where she slammed the door. I heard a groan from the neighbours who were getting fed up with the racket that was coming from the apartment so I wasn't surprised when they stormed in right after Stacey had left. Thomas looked over to the door from the stove where he plated up two omelettes for the both of us. He offered to make the man one but he declined.

"What the hell do you think you're doing making so much racket this early in the morning?" he yelled, his intensity having absolutely no effect on Thomas.

"Telling Stacey that she had until tomorrow to move out of the apartment," Thomas said, taking out a some cutlery and serving me my food before he went back to the stove and started to cook his bacon and toast. "Got a new roommate."

Thomas motioned over to me in which the man from next door looked surprisingly over to me. I gave him a polite wave, introducing myself as I did so. He only scowled, mentioning that he was happy at the fact that Stacey would no longer be around before making his own mark on the house and storming out of the apartment, the door slamming shut behind him.

"Thank God they're both gone," Thomas said as he joined me at the kitchen bench, leaning against it as he ate. "Don't have to deal with angry room mates or neighbours anymore."

"How do you know that I won't be…'angry'?" I questioned.

"The only thing that you'll be doing is crying every time I do this," he said, leaning over the table and kissing me upon the lips.

This time I didn't flinch, in which I was very proud of if you don't mind. I smiled at him and continued eating my food.

"The scene that we have will be a lot more interesting now," Thomas said, sipping from his drink.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"We just have to learn not to get distracted."