Hidden Silence

Raegan woke up due to the sound of Harry throwing up in the bathroom. She slowly sat up and looked at the time. 4:34AM. She sighed and got out of bed and towards the bathroom, "Hey, are you okay?" Of course he wasn't okay, she thought to herself.

He coughed, stood up and flushed the toilet making his way to the sink as he splashed water all over his face. "Yes, I'm fine. Go back to bed." he said in a hushed tone. He grabbed a towel hanging on the side of the mirror and wiped his face with it. He looked at Raegan and saw the sad look on her face. It hurt to know that she was hurting because of him. He walked towards her and cupped her face in his hands. "I swear, I'm good."

Raegan, on the other hand hated herself the more every second that passed. Her mind kept wandering back hours earlier when she was with Louis Tomlinson, his best friend while he was lying down on the sofa in pain. Why did she even agree to go out with him? She just wanted a fun night out because she hadn't had one in a long time and Louis offered as a friend. It had started out as an innocent outing at one of Horan's famous pubs, Ye Olde. Raegan who isn't really a pub person accepted the invitation either way taking it as a time off. She never really took taking care of Harry as work but she didn't know if she liked it or not. She should like it, Harry is her boyfriend and he loves her and she loves him?

Louis had gotten pretty drunk while she just had about two or three drinks when he decided to kiss her. The kiss was out of nowhere and had caught her by surprise but she didn't pull away. What she felt, she couldn't explain. It was foreign alright because it wasn't Harry kissing her but she didn't hate the kiss neither did she like it. Maybe she just enjoyed the kiss amidst the chattering of people and the clanking of glasses in the pub. It was when someone bumped into her that she realised what she had done. It took her a few seconds to calm her self down before she stood up and left the pub in a haste. She couldn't believe herself.

Harry stared at her and noticed the tears that had formed in her eyes and he hated himself so much. Why did she have to be dragged into this? It was his problem, not hers. He kissed both teary eyes and guided her towards the bed. "It's too early, go to bed sweetheart."

Raegan got into bed as Harry got in behind her and wrapped his hands around her, resuming the former position they were in before he woke up. She sniffled and shut her eyes trying to block out the memories that were trying to force their way back in. "Rae?" Harry called as he rubbed her knuckles, calming her.

"Mmm." she answered.

"I'm okay, stop worrying about me and you don't need to follow me to the hospital today." Harry meant what he said. As much as he needed her presence at every therapy and diagnosis he attended, he couldn't bear to see the sadness in her eyes every time they were at the hospital. And he couldn't help but feel he was bringing her down with the way she was always worrying about him and taking care of him. It also brought him down. He didn't want this to affect their relationship in any way and that was the thing he feared the most. He loved her far too much to let anything happen to them.

2 months ago

"Don't you think you should go to the hospital to get yourself checked, I'm starting to get worried, Harry." Raegan said as she bent down to touch Harry's shoulder. Harry was crouched down and holding his head in pain. Although, he claimed it wasn't serious, Raegan thought otherwise and insisted he saw a doctor. "I don't think having headaches a million times a day is normal."

Raegan grabbed Harry's car keys and walked over to him, "Raegan, I swear I'm alright."

Raegan scoffed and led Harry to the car while he still held his head, "I don't care what you say, we are going whether you like it or not."

--

"I'm afraid it's bad news Mr. Styles." the doctor said as he stared at the horrific look on both Raegan and Harry's faces. He looked down at the paper in hands, "From the results of the MRI scan, you have a brain tumor."

Harry's eyes widened in shock, "What?" he choked out. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. He was perfectly healthy. "I think you're wrong, I can't have a tumor. I'm that last person that should have that." His hands were shaking and he turned to look at Raegan who just stared at the doctor like he had just disappeared and appeared right in front of her.

She blinked the tears away, "He has a brain tumor? How is that possible, I thought he was healthy." She was clutching her dress like it would wake her up from this nightmare.

Harry held her hand and kissed it, "It's okay, Rae."

She turned to him, "It's okay? It's okay? How can you even say that it's okay? You have a brain tumor not a stomach ache. You could die." She stopped talking when she realised what she had said then she looked at Harry, "You could die." She turned to the doctor, "Is he going to die?

"Well, it's not certain but there are other ways of treatment but it isn't assured." the doctor explained.

Raegan had already began to cry and Harry had engulfed her in a hug whispering into her ear, "It'll be fine."

She looked at the doctor, "What are the options?"

"He can undergo surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and they are other clinical trial options he can undergo."

"We'll do all any-"

Harry held Raegan's hand, "Honey, can we talk about this?"

"What is there to talk about? You have brain tumor, Harry."

Since then, she's been following him to the hospital for therapy sessions and they had decided on the radiation therapy option as Harry was getting weaker by the second and it scared her to death.

Raegan sat up and stared at Harry, "What do you mean? Of course I'll follow you to the hospital, I can't miss it for the world. How dare you even think that?"

"I just don't want to be a bother to you, you know." he whispered as he brushed her hair with his hands.

Raegan couldn't even believe Harry was saying this. Didn't he know how much he meant to her? "Look at me, Harry." Harry looked up at her tear stained face. He hated to think he was the cause of that. "I love you and nothing can change that. Nothing." Not even what happened with Louis.

There was nothing Harry enjoyed more than hearing her say those words to him. He leaned in and kissed her lips, "I love you more. Now, let's go back to bed."