Save You Tonight

As the six o’clock hour drew closer, I stressed over telling Harry the story of the unknown caller. I wasn’t quite certain if it was the right thing to do or not. Being a girl about to go on a supposed “date” with a pop star, I didn’t want to seem like I was a jealous girl. Even though deep down inside, the call stung. It felt weird to know that there were other girls out there who felt so desperately attracted to the same person I did, especially when they were so desperate that they needed to find my number and call me. I had always known that teenage girls were obsessive over One Direction, but the voice didn’t sound like a teenage girl. She sounded older and her tone was more sinister than anything any adolescent girl could muster up.

But just as I began to truly start over-analyzing the situation, the knock on the other side of the door set me at ease. Harry, with his impeccable timing of always getting me out of my own head, was quietly humming another Grease song, making me feel incredibly good about myself. I had already changed into a purple-toned sundress, as well as shape-shifting my hair into light waves and putting on just enough makeup to look good, but not over the top. Opening the door, I smiled warmly at the curly haired boy who was in a nice button down and a pair of charcoal trousers.

“Grease again?” I asked, smiling knowingly at Harry.

“Shut it, you make me a basket case sometimes,” he retorted, extending his arms out and giving me a quick greeting hug. I just laughed at him as I shut the door to my flat behind me and we made our way out to a black car with tinted windows. Once we were in the dimly lit vehicle, I promptly inquired about the plans for the evening, earning a sly smirk from Harry.

“Well, when I saw the article this morning, I was certain I would never see you again. In fact, I thought you’d gone from your flat already when I got there. Just ‘cause you're so secretive about your spy stuff. So, anyway, when you were actually there, I decided to take you out and persuade you not to disappear from my life,” he explained touchingly, but still not answering my question about where we were going. I decided to let it go and instead assure him that I wouldn’t be going anywhere any time soon.

As he talked about his day at the recording studio, I let myself dwell over the fact that he wanted me in his life. That, in itself, was mystifying. Harry Styles, despite my constant worrying, was still here. He wasn’t just another dream that I came up with in my head during my endless lonely hours within my flat. No, I could see him, all too well in the darkness of the car and could smell his intoxicating cologne. I could feel his knee brushing up against mine due to our close proximity. I could hear his soft breathing and his low, thudding heartbeat. Lastly, I concluded that I couldn’t taste anything, but I shamefully found myself staring at his lips, imagining what they tasted like. The more I stared, the more attractive he got. Something about the sharply cut way his jaw line was set and the muscles and veins in his neck made me want to cover them with kisses. Never in my life had I felt such an urge, and with a frustrated sigh, I tore my eyes away and made myself stare straight ahead of me.

“Alright, can I ask certain questions about you?” Harry asked, a quizzical look within his olive eyes.

“Probably not.” He chuckled at my answer, shifting in his seat and beginning to speak as the car came to a stop.

“Here already?” he asked to himself, waiting as the driver came around and opened his door. Harry climbed out and made a three-sixty degree turn to scan the area before extending a hand to me and helping me out of the car onto the pavement. In front of us was an old building, seemingly built a half century prior to the moment we stepped into its front doors. It took me a few seconds, but I came to realize that it was an old movie theater and Harry was leading me into theater number one.

“A movie theater, Harold?” I asked as he took me to the middle of the theater and motioned for me to sit down in the dark red cushioned seat.

“Yes, it’s a special screening for the two of us. I thought that we’d watch Avengers Assemble because you’re definitely a super hero in my eyes.”

I attempted not to melt right there on the spot. He was so sweet, but throughout the film, I was frankly terrified that Harry would catch on to the fact that I was truly a freak of nature and not just a highly skilled martial artist. However, contrary to my paranoia, he seemed more preoccupied with me than the superheroes coming together to save the earth. While Black Widow was beating up extraterrestrial villains, Harry was uncomfortably readjusting in his seat. While Iron Man was making snarky one-liners, Harry was biting his lip and staring at me out of the corner of his eye. While Thor was summoning lightning, Harry was reaching for my hand. And while the Hulk was trying to contain his anger, I was pretty damn sure that Harry was trying to contain certain things, too.

When the movie was over, he stood up awkwardly, reaching again for my hand and explaining to me that there was more than just a film on the agenda for the evening. He led me up a faintly lit stairwell, up many flights to the point where I lost count. Finally, though, we made it to a door that opened up to the roof of the building. Near the edge of the large building was a small table with two chairs on either side. A lanky man in a white dress coat stood beside the table with a tray of food in his hands, nodding to Harry and setting the tray down on the surface. He then made his way past us and through the door back into the building. Harry intently watched me, waiting for my reaction. I could say nothing. I couldn’t believe I was here, overlooking the city of London.

“So…?” he said, drawing it out unnecessarily long.

“This- this is amazing. Thank you.” Once he got the words he was searching for, he walked to the ledge. Pointing to different buildings and landmarks, he began to tell me everything he knew about them.

“Coming from a small town, I never imagined… ever… that I’d be here in London. It’s literally the most amazing thing to be standing where I am now. Don’t think I’m ever gonna get used to it,” Harry told me with so much emotion lacing his words while cross armed on the ledge and staring straight out at the skyline of England’s largest city.

With my own past, I felt the exact same way. Never in a million years would I have pinned myself on a rooftop in this situation. Maybe on a rooftop, about to jump, but never with someone I was so ridiculously fond of.

After some time, our discussion of London’s famous structures turned into one of the universe’s greatest structures, or at least a tabloid bearing the same name. “Harry, can I ask you a question and will you answer it honestly?”

I was nervous how my perception of him might change with this next topic. When he assured me that veracity would be used with his answer, I took a deep breath. “What did it mean in the Sun about you finding someone your own age?”

His face fell. I knew it’d be a sore subject, but I needed to know. He seemed to be searching for the right words, but he finally spoke. “In the past, being a famous single guy has had its perks. Being a teenage boy with all these older women fawning all over you… it’s hard to say no, But, I don't know, when I’m around you, Maya, all that raging hormone shit is toned down. Well, toward other women. I’m not gonna lie, I've got the hots for you, but not in the way I have in the past. There’s something so different that just makes me wanna be around you, but not just to shag ya… oh, god I’m rambling, just stop me.”

I wasn’t particularly sure of what to say next, so instead I just stared up at him. “Shit, Maya, just say something,” he begged me, looking like a kid who just got caught doing something bad and is hoping that they won’t get grounded.

“Look, I don’t care what you’ve done in your past. Obviously, it feels weird to know that you’ve done all this stuff with older women, but I don’t want to be a girl that you’re just trying to shag and then ditch-” he opened his mouth to protest, but I surged on, “and I know you tell me all this stuff, about how I’m different, but what makes me so different? I’m just Maya. I’m not that pretty, I have a bad past, I’m practically a recluse, I’m just… I’m not that glorious, fabulous, experienced older woman that you clearly have a taste for.”

Harry was silent for a few moments, staring at the ground as the cars and pedestrians buzzed beneath us. Then, he turned his head again and locked eyes with me. “Normally I try to run, and I might even wanna hide, ‘cause I never knew what I wanted until I looked into your eyes. Please don’t let me go.”

I smiled at the words. “Wait… that sounds like a song.”

He blushed and squished his eyes shut, letting out a silent, embarrassed laugh. “I can’t believe I just stole my mate, Olly’s lyrics. But, truly, what makes you different is that I can take one look into your big brown eyes and just know that it isn't your boobs, or your ass, or your good sense of humor, or your intelligence, or the way you just need someone, but it's... it's that everything about you is what I want.”