Under a Paper Moon

Fraser cheated on you.

He was with Si this whole time and now that you’ve found out you can’t even go near them today without probably breaking down. Can’t avoid them all day though, oh god no you can’t. You’re going to have to talk to them eventually. What if I don’t want to talk to them? I don’t give a shit, you’re going to go sit with your friends and pretend nothing ever happened, okay? And if you even let slip that you’re not okay, I will murder you.

I sighed, looking up from my shoes to see John, Fraser and Ben sitting over on the grass where we normally sit any time there’s no classes. Ben looked like he was pretty much asleep on John’s shoulder, John was cuddling him. Fraser was just being completely blanked by the pair, he looked kind of upset from where I stood, but then again he’s probably daydreaming, thinking about Si…

I bit my lip, trying to pluck up the courage to walk over to them. I couldn’t though, not if he was there. So I turned around quickly and began walking the other direction, trying desperately to stop the tears that were rapidly flooding my eyes.

“GUSTAV!” I heard someone call behind me. I started walking faster, not wanting whoever it was to catch up with me and see me like this, “Gustav wait!”

I heard hard, fast footsteps behind me, telling me that whoever had been calling me was now running. Oh hell no. Thankfully, because I’m actually Slender Man and have the longest legs in the world, I can still walk faster than they could run. The tears were overflowing now, streaming down my face. I hoped to god that Jocko didn’t see me, how awful would that be?

“Gus, please!” the person called again. They weren’t going to stop chasing me, were they? No, so I was going to have to stop, tell them to fuck off, and then continue walking. I took a deep breath before I stopped moving, turning around to face him. Fraser stood there, glasses sat ever so slightly wonky on his face as he looked up at my tear-stained face, concern lacing his expression. He doesn’t have the fucking right to be concerned, he did this to me! “Gus babe, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?!” I exclaimed, causing more tears to slip out, “What’s wrong?! Fraser you shouldn’t even need to ask that.”

He bit his lip, taking a few steps towards me so he could close the gap between us. He took my hand in his own before speaking again, “I do, I do Gus, what’s wrong?”

“D-did you cheat on me?” I blurted out, instantly regretting it as I saw his reaction. Tears began to fill his own eyes and I could practically see the cogs working in his brain as he tried to think up an excuse as to how he didn’t cheat on me when, really, we all know he did. He surprised me though, instead of feeding me some bullshit excuse, he just nodded, his gaze falling down to his feet.

“Gustav, I’m…I am so so sorry, okay?” he whimpered, looking back up at me, “please, I n-“

I yanked my hand out of his, why was he even bothering to apologise? He was an absolute cunt and I hated him, okay? I fucking hated him for making me love him so much. He looked slightly startled at my sudden movements, tears spilling onto his cheeks. I didn’t care though, I couldn’t care. So I turned around once more and began to walk away from him, I didn’t even look where I was going, the tears were clouding my vision, as well as the fact I didn’t give a shit where I was going.

I kind of wished I’d been looking where I was going though, once I smacked right into someone else, sending them stumbling backwards a few steps. My head snapped up to look at them, tears soaking the ends of my fringe, sticking it to the sides of my head.

“Gustav?” I heard Max ask. “Gustav are you okay?”

Poor kid, I bet he doesn’t even know about Simon and Fraser, they’ve only just started going out too! I bet it’d hurt him a lot if he found out. That’s why you shouldn’t tell him, Gus, keep it a secret and don’t tell hi- “no I’m not actually! But maybe your boyfriend can tell you something about that,” I hissed before pushing past him, making my way to the boys toilets.

Once I reached the door that was clearly labelled ‘Boys’, I checked to see that the room was empty and slipped inside, locking the door behind me. Who the hell puts a lock on the main room though, to be honest. That’s just silly. At least it was there though. I can cry in peace now.

I walked over to the sinks, not taking my eyes off my reflection as I walked. God dammit, wasn’t I just a wreck? My eyeliner was running down my face as I cried, my body was visibly shaking on top of the fact I was just a wreck anyway. “Look at you,” I snarled at the mirror, “no wonder he left you! You’re so ugly.”

I held onto the sides of the sink counter for support as I continued to insult myself, it didn’t really help the crying though. In fact it just made it worse. “You’re so thin and pale! You’re like a twig, jesus christ. Your nose is massive, your hair is stupid. Not to mention you’re a right tool,” I choked over my words, a sob tearing through my lips, “so ugly and stupid. No wonder Fraser doesn’t love you. I bet he was dared to do it, him and Ben probably had a bet to see how fast he could break you.”

I tightened my grip on the counter, trying to calm myself. Insulting myself like this was getting me nowhere, plus the tears were starting to stain my clothes. I couldn’t stop shaking though… looks like I’m not going to class today.