Under a Paper Moon

[Gustav's POV]

"Don't make me speak to Fraser please, I don't want him to break up with me!" I sobbed, pulling away from my best friend. He couldn't make me talk to him, god no please! I can't. I'm scared, I'm so scared... I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm not normally like this! Why am I having such a mental breakdown?!

I ran down the stairs of my house and away from John, only to be caught in the arms of Ben as I pushed through the front door. "LET ME GO!" I screamed, trying to struggle out of his arms.

"Please Gus," he bit his lip, "please you need to talk to Fraser! You can't stay like this forever!"

"I can and I will!" I huffed and broke free of his hold. Thankfully Ben wasn't half as strong as his boyfriend was. Whoa that's weird referring to them as boyfriends... but I always knew they were anyway. I began to run down my street, my newly-died hair flopping about on my forehead as I ran. I needed to get away from here, away from school, I needed to get somewhere where I could be by myself and I could think. Thinking was bad though, but at least Fraser wouldn't be there.

I hoped no one was following me as I ran, but I doubted they were seeing as John was way faster than I was. So he would've caught up. I stopped running as I reached a small path that I believe led down to the beach. I could hide there! Hopefully no one would check the beach for me, I mean...it's not a place I would normally go. The wind and the water vapour messes with my hair....

After I caught my breath again, I began to jog down the small, narrow path which did in fact lead onto the beach. The tide was out a good distance which gave me a long time to sit on the sand and think.

I headed over to a spot on the rocks that were hidden off at the far end of the sand, I could see even from here that they were bone dry; the water having been evaporated off by the heat of the sun. It's strange how easily water can evaporate but it still feels absolutely freezing outside to me. Which is so why I came to a beach, great logic there, Gus.

I sat down on one of the flatter rocks, bringing my knees up to my chest and hiding my face in them. I sighed, not particularly wanting to be plunged deep into thought but I didn't really have much other choice, did I? I tried to pay attention to the sounds of the waves pulling back and hitting the sand, washing up shells and such, but I just couldn't do it. I became almost deaf to all the sounds around me, all the sounds except the faint muttering of my name.

My head shot up, my eyes darting around frantically to see who had called me. (God that sounded crazy, didn't it?) Standing there, in front of me was, you guessed it. Fraser fucking Taylor. "Go away," I mumbled, my face falling back down to my knees again.

I felt him sit down beside me, his hand moving to hover over my shoulder, not knowing whether it was okay to actually make physical contact with me or not. "No," he said simply. "I...I need to apologise, Gus. And explain."

"I don't want an apology or an explanation," I huffed.

"What do you want then?"

"For you to go away," I repeated, rolling my eyes behind my eyelids, "seriously, fuck off Fraser."

"Your hair's blonde..." he noted, ignoring my previous statements and changing the subject, "why...did you dye your hair blonde?"

"I..." I bit my lip. How to I tell him 'I took an emotional, mental breakdown because you cheated on me so I figured you didn't love me and I turned into Bella Swan and stopped functioning' without sounding obsessed and weird? "I don't know," I lied.

"I like it," he smiled before moving his hand to ruffle the blonde strands sitting on top of my head. "Please, Gus. Please let me explain. If you let me explain and apologise, I'll...I'll leave you alone, okay? You don't ever have to see me again, I promise. Just please let me explain."

At that point I broke. I didn't want him to leave me alone! Well, I did, but only right now! Not forever. I really did love him, but he can't see that. God dammit...

"Fine," my lip trembled as I tried to hold back the tears, "you've got two minutes. Explain."