Under a Paper Moon

I saw his lip tremble, as I asked for time to explain myself to him. Jesus christ Fraser, you are going to make him cry in a minute. You're meant to be making him happy not making him cry. Ugh. I'm such a dickhead. Might as well start explaining myself.

'I'm so sorry, I would never cheat on you ever again. I love you so much. At the time I was very drunk, I'm not sure about Simon but I was very. Then Ben told me he likes me and well It kind of went from there.' I explained not making eye contact with Gustav.

He nodded, not even looking at me.

Well done Fraser. You've just lost yourself a boyfriend. Here have the biggest douchebag award.

I moved closer to Gustav, and slipped my hand into his. The surprising thing was that he didn't pull away.

Then I noticed the dried blood on his hand. What happened there? He didn't did he? Calm down Fraser he probably just cut it somehow.

'Gus? How did you cut your hand?' I stuttered.
He didn't looked down again not making any eye contact with me.

'I punched a mirror.'

What?! Why? Oh my poor Gustav.

'Why Gus?' I asked.

His lips moved, but what all I could really hear was the words.

'I'm ugly'.

FRASER WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. YOU'VE FUCKED HIM UP SO BAD. HE DOESNT DESERVE YOU, HE SHOULD HAVE SO MUCH BETTER.

'No no. Gustav, you are not ugly. I'm so sorry. I've fucked up so bad, please forgive me. I love you so much'.

'Its okay, I probably deserved it just can I have some time to think about it please?'

I nodded I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes, being careful not to make eye contact with him knowing that would give me away. Shit. You've just lost yourself a boyfriend and John's going to kill you for fucking up his bestfriend.

'I'm sorry' he whispered, I pulled him close to me and kissed his forehead lightly. He pulled away and walked away from me not before I saw the tears rolling down his cheeks.

I've fucked up bigtime.
Shit, what do I do?! I need to talk to John. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, scrolling down until I saw his name. I didn't have to hide my tears anymore as I let them freely run down my cheeks silently. This is all my fault. I pressed the phone to my ear letting the rings fill my ear, on the fourth ring he picked up.

'Frase, what's happened?'

'He said it was okay and that he deserved it but he needs to think about it' I said barely keeping it together although I was crying.

'That makes sense honestly just wait hell come around yeah?'

'What do you mean it makes sense?!' I growled.

'I mean, like you obviously hurt him a lot. He will forgive you properly in the end, but the fact that he said he deserves it isn't good.'

'Oh. Thanks.'
With that I put the phone down cutting John off, leaving me alone with my sadness. I need Gustav back.