The Only Thing I Want
01
I love her laugh, her smile, the way her eyes light up when she talks about life, everything she does I love about her, the only problem in her life was Brice, and she didn't seem to notice.
"Austin, do you hear me?" Ema waved her hand in my face
"Huh? Sorry?" I said
"Brice and I have been going out for six months his finally taking me out to a nice dinner. Its about time." She said
"Why do I need to know this?"
"You need to know this because you need to help me with what to wear,"
"Don't you ask girls for that type of stuff?"
"You know what a guy likes a girl to wear, so you're the perfect friend." She smiles, but this time my heart doesn't leap with joy.
Thats all I'll ever be is a friend, being her friend hurts, it hurts seeing another man make her happy. I'm glad she's happy, don't get me wrong, but I just wish it was me. I want to be with her.
I want to leave her and forget about her, but I know I'll regret it, if I do, I'll regret not being there for her, if something goes wrong, especially after all the times she's been there for me, so I don't leave, I stay.
"Austin the dinner was perfect, and guess what?"
I ask myself if I really want to know but I ask "What?"
"Well, how should I say this, I know that both me and him have been only going out for six months, but... he ask me to marry him!" She's estatic, I want to cry.
"What? You can't marry him, its too soon." I say a desperate attempt to stop what is happening.
"Austin? I thought you'd be happy for me?" She says her eyes now looking down, and damn it I can see the tears starting to form
I sigh in frusteration, "I am happy for you." I force out.
"Then why do you act so angry?"
"I'm not angry, its just only been six months."
"My parents got married in three!" She says and with that she leaves and slams the door behind her.
I sit down on my couch head in my hands, shes makes me feel awful, but she's been there for me, for many things, I can't ruin her relationship, just because of my selfish wants. I have to force a
smile and be there. I want to run away, from this, but I'm told old to think that.
I go see Ema the next day and apologize to her. She wraps me a big hug and smiles.
"You have nothing to apologize for, I don't know why I got so worked up." She bites her lip and looks down, that usually means theres something she wants to say but not sure if she should, so instead of waiting for her to come out with it, I ask.
"Whats on your mind?"
"Well you know my dad passed a way a couple of years ago. You've been my friend since we were babies, so I was wondering if you'd be the one to 'give me away?'"
Another knife through the chest, I don't want to do it, but how can I refuse, she means so much to me.
"I'll think about it."
"What? You have to do it! Please." She begs
"I said I'll think about it." I repeat
She pouts and bats her lashes, it won't work, I don't want to do it.
After days of pouting and begging I give in, I can never refuse her. I don't know how I can walk her down the aisle.
That day I deicide to drink myself to the point where I can forget about her.
I should've stuck by what I said. Its only a few more months untill the wedding. She could've found someone else, its not even something that's needed, but she had to go on about how its so important to her, she makes so damn hard to break away, to move on. Great even drinking isn't helping me forget her. I think to myself, I just want to be free.
Eventually the day approaches, and she is dressed in her white gown looking ravishing.
Maybe when she marries him I can forget, I hold the hope I can get on with my life, she'll be happy, and I can be happy. Ah who am I kidding?
"I'm so nervous!" She says her breath shaky
"Nothing to be nervous about, you're marrying the man of your dreams." I say
She twirls around for me "So how do I look?"
"Stunning."
She flashes her prefect smile at me, and the the music starts.
"Oh I hope I can walk, my legs feel like jelly," She laughs
"You'll do fine." I grab her arm and wish it was me she was marrying.
I walk her down the aisle towards her future husband, oh how I evny him.
Since we were young I always had a vision of getting married to Ema, but wishes are wishes not all of them come true. Just like my wish to get away from her, but I know it won't happen, its just to hard, its to complicated. I don't want to feel remorse for ruining our friendship.
"Austin, do you hear me?" Ema waved her hand in my face
"Huh? Sorry?" I said
"Brice and I have been going out for six months his finally taking me out to a nice dinner. Its about time." She said
"Why do I need to know this?"
"You need to know this because you need to help me with what to wear,"
"Don't you ask girls for that type of stuff?"
"You know what a guy likes a girl to wear, so you're the perfect friend." She smiles, but this time my heart doesn't leap with joy.
Thats all I'll ever be is a friend, being her friend hurts, it hurts seeing another man make her happy. I'm glad she's happy, don't get me wrong, but I just wish it was me. I want to be with her.
I want to leave her and forget about her, but I know I'll regret it, if I do, I'll regret not being there for her, if something goes wrong, especially after all the times she's been there for me, so I don't leave, I stay.
"Austin the dinner was perfect, and guess what?"
I ask myself if I really want to know but I ask "What?"
"Well, how should I say this, I know that both me and him have been only going out for six months, but... he ask me to marry him!" She's estatic, I want to cry.
"What? You can't marry him, its too soon." I say a desperate attempt to stop what is happening.
"Austin? I thought you'd be happy for me?" She says her eyes now looking down, and damn it I can see the tears starting to form
I sigh in frusteration, "I am happy for you." I force out.
"Then why do you act so angry?"
"I'm not angry, its just only been six months."
"My parents got married in three!" She says and with that she leaves and slams the door behind her.
I sit down on my couch head in my hands, shes makes me feel awful, but she's been there for me, for many things, I can't ruin her relationship, just because of my selfish wants. I have to force a
smile and be there. I want to run away, from this, but I'm told old to think that.
I go see Ema the next day and apologize to her. She wraps me a big hug and smiles.
"You have nothing to apologize for, I don't know why I got so worked up." She bites her lip and looks down, that usually means theres something she wants to say but not sure if she should, so instead of waiting for her to come out with it, I ask.
"Whats on your mind?"
"Well you know my dad passed a way a couple of years ago. You've been my friend since we were babies, so I was wondering if you'd be the one to 'give me away?'"
Another knife through the chest, I don't want to do it, but how can I refuse, she means so much to me.
"I'll think about it."
"What? You have to do it! Please." She begs
"I said I'll think about it." I repeat
She pouts and bats her lashes, it won't work, I don't want to do it.
After days of pouting and begging I give in, I can never refuse her. I don't know how I can walk her down the aisle.
That day I deicide to drink myself to the point where I can forget about her.
I should've stuck by what I said. Its only a few more months untill the wedding. She could've found someone else, its not even something that's needed, but she had to go on about how its so important to her, she makes so damn hard to break away, to move on. Great even drinking isn't helping me forget her. I think to myself, I just want to be free.
Eventually the day approaches, and she is dressed in her white gown looking ravishing.
Maybe when she marries him I can forget, I hold the hope I can get on with my life, she'll be happy, and I can be happy. Ah who am I kidding?
"I'm so nervous!" She says her breath shaky
"Nothing to be nervous about, you're marrying the man of your dreams." I say
She twirls around for me "So how do I look?"
"Stunning."
She flashes her prefect smile at me, and the the music starts.
"Oh I hope I can walk, my legs feel like jelly," She laughs
"You'll do fine." I grab her arm and wish it was me she was marrying.
I walk her down the aisle towards her future husband, oh how I evny him.
Since we were young I always had a vision of getting married to Ema, but wishes are wishes not all of them come true. Just like my wish to get away from her, but I know it won't happen, its just to hard, its to complicated. I don't want to feel remorse for ruining our friendship.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hope you enjoyed.