Letters to a Rockstar
Letter Eight
Dear Adam,
What Shea stands for is not my place to tell you. Only family and those Shea tells know, as it is only his place to tell. Though, if I'm honest, I'm not sure Shea has ever told anyone what it stands for. It's too personal for him, and he has his reasons for going by Shea instead of his given name. I'm most certain he'll be completely thrilled to learn that you've actually thought about him past the time you've met him. As I know I've written before, Shea really does look up to you. You are his idol, and exchanging letters with you, I can now understand why. It actually makes me happy to know that you're the person Shea looks up to and not some ungrateful Hollywood twat.
Maybe that was a little mean, but it's how I actually feel.
Now, my parents...My parents aren't really people I get on so well with. They really don't approve of me as a person, and I realize how completely horrid that sounds. Please realize that they mean no harm, and I am a 'different kind of person.' My parents expect me to be a clean cut person who enjoys spending time at the local country club. As much as they approve of Shea dressing how he does, being the person he is, they don't approve of me as a person. Until I dress how they wish me to, and until I spend my time at the country club with them, playing tennis or golf, I am not someone they are proud of. We don't fight, and we only see each other during holidays unless Shea asks me over. I live alone, and prefer to be alone. No-one judges me when there is no-one else around.
Now, don't get me wrong. I do love my parents dearly, but they don't understand me. They don't work to understand me, either. I know they love me, and like I love them, we have an understanding that this is just the way things are. This is our relationship, and we're all fine with it. The only person it bothers, and only sometimes, is Shea, but for the sake of our parents and myself, he just deals with it as well. Not that there is anything he could do to change it.
This is why I have Kaddy and Shache. They're my only pets, and they were given to me as gifts from my parents. To them it isn't healthy for me to be spending so much time alone. They figured I needed a friend, and if I wouldn't go out to make one myself, they would get me one. Mother bought me Kaddy without Father's knowledge, and Father did the same for Shache without Mother knowing. I got them so close to the same time that they get along great. I love them both, and we are a family. They're not just pets to me.
As I had said before, Kaddy is an attention-whore. She'll do anything to get whoever is around to pay attention to her, and she won't be happy until everyone's eyes are on her. She adores, completely adores, meeting new people. Shache is a little more cautious when meeting newcomers. He usually ends up sitting back, watching, assessing. He needs to know that they aren't going to cause any harm to Kaddy, himself, or me. After he warms up to people, however, he starts acting like a giant, playful puppy.
I've never gone anywhere that would require me leaving Kaddy and Shache behind, mainly because I refuse. I'm not sure what I would do if I had to go somewhere I couldn't take them. I don't trust anyone to take care of them that isn't me. I just can't trust people, not in that way.
I feel like every time I write to you I make myself out to be more and more of a freak. Makes me wonder slightly how it is you still talk to me. Oh, wow, I seem to say that every letter, don't I? Heh, oops...Apparently my self-esteem is lower than I assumed it to be. I should probably work on that, huh? Especially if you still want to send letters my way...
Um, so have a good...week?
Sincerely,
Izzy
What Shea stands for is not my place to tell you. Only family and those Shea tells know, as it is only his place to tell. Though, if I'm honest, I'm not sure Shea has ever told anyone what it stands for. It's too personal for him, and he has his reasons for going by Shea instead of his given name. I'm most certain he'll be completely thrilled to learn that you've actually thought about him past the time you've met him. As I know I've written before, Shea really does look up to you. You are his idol, and exchanging letters with you, I can now understand why. It actually makes me happy to know that you're the person Shea looks up to and not some ungrateful Hollywood twat.
Maybe that was a little mean, but it's how I actually feel.
Now, my parents...My parents aren't really people I get on so well with. They really don't approve of me as a person, and I realize how completely horrid that sounds. Please realize that they mean no harm, and I am a 'different kind of person.' My parents expect me to be a clean cut person who enjoys spending time at the local country club. As much as they approve of Shea dressing how he does, being the person he is, they don't approve of me as a person. Until I dress how they wish me to, and until I spend my time at the country club with them, playing tennis or golf, I am not someone they are proud of. We don't fight, and we only see each other during holidays unless Shea asks me over. I live alone, and prefer to be alone. No-one judges me when there is no-one else around.
Now, don't get me wrong. I do love my parents dearly, but they don't understand me. They don't work to understand me, either. I know they love me, and like I love them, we have an understanding that this is just the way things are. This is our relationship, and we're all fine with it. The only person it bothers, and only sometimes, is Shea, but for the sake of our parents and myself, he just deals with it as well. Not that there is anything he could do to change it.
This is why I have Kaddy and Shache. They're my only pets, and they were given to me as gifts from my parents. To them it isn't healthy for me to be spending so much time alone. They figured I needed a friend, and if I wouldn't go out to make one myself, they would get me one. Mother bought me Kaddy without Father's knowledge, and Father did the same for Shache without Mother knowing. I got them so close to the same time that they get along great. I love them both, and we are a family. They're not just pets to me.
As I had said before, Kaddy is an attention-whore. She'll do anything to get whoever is around to pay attention to her, and she won't be happy until everyone's eyes are on her. She adores, completely adores, meeting new people. Shache is a little more cautious when meeting newcomers. He usually ends up sitting back, watching, assessing. He needs to know that they aren't going to cause any harm to Kaddy, himself, or me. After he warms up to people, however, he starts acting like a giant, playful puppy.
I've never gone anywhere that would require me leaving Kaddy and Shache behind, mainly because I refuse. I'm not sure what I would do if I had to go somewhere I couldn't take them. I don't trust anyone to take care of them that isn't me. I just can't trust people, not in that way.
I feel like every time I write to you I make myself out to be more and more of a freak. Makes me wonder slightly how it is you still talk to me. Oh, wow, I seem to say that every letter, don't I? Heh, oops...Apparently my self-esteem is lower than I assumed it to be. I should probably work on that, huh? Especially if you still want to send letters my way...
Um, so have a good...week?
Sincerely,
Izzy