Perfectly Destroying Me
02
"Come on Ali, please eat something," Ethan begged. He had heated up my egg fried rice from last night which, sadly, I didn't feel to eat.
"What are you doing home, you're supposed to be at school," I said monotonously. I looked to Ethan, his eyes were sad and I could tell he felt helpless.
"I've got a free block, I wanted to come and check on you, you've been sleeping all day," I nodded and grabbed my fork, prodding each grain of rice, "I was worried, I called your work for you, I told them you weren't feeling too well,"
I nodded my head, with my eyes still focussing on the rice, "Thanks."
"I need to get back, okay, do you want anything?" he asked picking up his back pack from the floor.
"Oreos, we've ran out."
"Oreos?" Ethan raised his eye brows.
"Yeah, I'll get some," I said in the same tone. I stood up from bed slowly and walked over to my mirror, "I need milk too," I said brushing my hair out from the tangled mess that it was. I could see Ethan nod his head and he walked out. I heard an engine start and a car pull out from the drive. My heart thudded as I realised I was now, alone. I shrugged it out and continued brushing my hair. I stuck it in a messy bun and wandered over back to my wardrobe to grab a plain black hoodie and a Misfits. I brushed my teeth and placed a pair of sunglasses on my head. Grabbing my purse and keys, I wandered over to my car, carefully minding my head. The radio filled my small car as I turned on the ignition, I shook my head and switched on my CD player, which automatically started "Deathcrush" by Mayhem.
I grabbed a basket and headed inside the grocery store, walking past a display of wilting flowers. I walked up to the magazine section picking up a Cosmopolitan and placing it in my basket. My eyes scanned the music section as I found the new addition of Revolver, a magazine that Ethan loves. Picking it up I examined the cover, 'Avenged Sevenfold' it read. I shuddered and threw it in the basket, underneath my magazine, so I didn't have to look at that awful name again. Picking up a carton of milk and a box of Lucky Charms, I made my way to the candy aisle. I picked up a packet of Starbursts and skimmed through each product, finally coming across the many boxes of Oreos all adorning the very top shelf. I sighed heavily as I placed my basket on the floor. I placed my feet on the first shelf, adding my balance onto it, my knees started to tremble as the balance attempt miserably failed. My hands grasped the edge of the small box as my knees finally buckled. I gasped in horror as I didn't fancy my face hitting the lino floor.
The floor seemed a lot closer to me as the back of my head fell against it. It started to move up and down in breathing like motions. I turned my head to one side to see a pair of muscular arms rapped around me. I wasn't on the floor. I was in his arms. He caught me.
"Are you okay?" He asked me.
"Why do you care?!" I said pulling myself away and brushing myself off.
"Well you're still as clumsy as ever," he laughed softly, "Do you want another box? I'll grab them seeing as I'm way taller than you,"
"Stop the bullshit Matthew, what do you want from me?" I asked throwing the box into the basket.
"We need to talk," he said reaching the top shelf.
"No, you've got some explaining to do," I said snatching them off of him.
"I know," he said shamefully, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry?! You've got a fucking nerve!" I yelled before turning around and walking off. I paid for each of my items at the '10 items or less' counter, I just wanted to get out and go home.
Turning on the ignition, I continued listening to my Mayhem CD. The perfect way to channel out all of this built up anger.
I got home as quick as I could without getting one of those stupid speeding tickets. I barged into my kitchen throwing down my house keys and my groceries straight after. The doorbell began to buzz uncontrollably again. "For fucks sake, this is the last thing I need," I muttered to myself. I walked over to the door and flung it open, taking out my irritation on it.
"You forgot these," He said holding up a box of Oreos I had just gotten. Evidently they had fallen out during my rampage back to my car. I snatched them out of his hand before speaking up.
"Do you not take a hint, I don't want to see you, not now, not ever," I tried to keep my cool.
"Please Alibear, we need to talk, it's been so long," he said helplessly. Alibear, he hasn't called me that for years. I sighed in defeat and stepped away from my door letting him in, "Thanks."
"Don't be thankful, I just want to hear your explanation," I snapped slamming my door shut. He looked at me in confusion making the anger slowly build up again, "Oh drop the act Matthew, you haven't spoken to me, your 'best friend' in 4 years, what do you want?!"
"I broke up with Lexi," he sighed, "She cheated on me," I felt every ounce of sympathy just getting thrown out, I didn't care. I grinned at his before saying those four dreaded words:
"I told you so," I smirked, "So you finally admit that I'm right so you come crying back to me after all the shit you put me through and you think I'm going to welcome you back with open arms?" I said with my arms crossed against my chest with a smug grin plastered across my face. He shook his head and sat on my sofa, "Well you're right about something," I added. I sat on the same sofa, just on the other end I turned to him just to sneak another look. He still had the exact same face that I adored. I ached for those dimples to still be there, and his smile to have as much life as it used to.
"Al, I can't tell you enough, I'm sorry, I don't know how to make it up to you," he sighed.
"You can't," I shook my head, "It doesn't matter if it's 10 years later or a couple of months, I'll never be able to forgive you for what you did to me."
"Look, what I did was wrong and I don't know what to do, I just want to be your friend again," he said moving closer.
Matt and I were best friends, we met when we were 13 at some gig that we had both snuck into at the Chain Reaction. We didn't talk after that. But it wasn't until we started high school, we recognised each other straight off, and that was where our friendship started. We were inseparable, where there was Matthew Sanders there was always Alicia Peterson with him, he was my rock. I always watched him pick up the girls, it was easy for him, they would just fall at his feet like he was some kind of God. It made me laugh, to those girls, Matt was just some "hot basketball player in a badass band", but to me, he was the Matt that would sneak up to my room when my parents were arguing, just to make sure I was okay. He was the Matt that skipped school to watch cheesy movies with me when my parents spared my brother and I and finally got a divorce. He let me into his home when my mom kept herself occupied with work to keep her mind off of her failed marriage. He was the one that helped me home when we had our first drop of alcohol together in our "spot" at central park.
He was the only one that cared for me. He was my first love and I didn't get the chance to ever tell him.
"What are you doing home, you're supposed to be at school," I said monotonously. I looked to Ethan, his eyes were sad and I could tell he felt helpless.
"I've got a free block, I wanted to come and check on you, you've been sleeping all day," I nodded and grabbed my fork, prodding each grain of rice, "I was worried, I called your work for you, I told them you weren't feeling too well,"
I nodded my head, with my eyes still focussing on the rice, "Thanks."
"I need to get back, okay, do you want anything?" he asked picking up his back pack from the floor.
"Oreos, we've ran out."
"Oreos?" Ethan raised his eye brows.
"Yeah, I'll get some," I said in the same tone. I stood up from bed slowly and walked over to my mirror, "I need milk too," I said brushing my hair out from the tangled mess that it was. I could see Ethan nod his head and he walked out. I heard an engine start and a car pull out from the drive. My heart thudded as I realised I was now, alone. I shrugged it out and continued brushing my hair. I stuck it in a messy bun and wandered over back to my wardrobe to grab a plain black hoodie and a Misfits. I brushed my teeth and placed a pair of sunglasses on my head. Grabbing my purse and keys, I wandered over to my car, carefully minding my head. The radio filled my small car as I turned on the ignition, I shook my head and switched on my CD player, which automatically started "Deathcrush" by Mayhem.
I grabbed a basket and headed inside the grocery store, walking past a display of wilting flowers. I walked up to the magazine section picking up a Cosmopolitan and placing it in my basket. My eyes scanned the music section as I found the new addition of Revolver, a magazine that Ethan loves. Picking it up I examined the cover, 'Avenged Sevenfold' it read. I shuddered and threw it in the basket, underneath my magazine, so I didn't have to look at that awful name again. Picking up a carton of milk and a box of Lucky Charms, I made my way to the candy aisle. I picked up a packet of Starbursts and skimmed through each product, finally coming across the many boxes of Oreos all adorning the very top shelf. I sighed heavily as I placed my basket on the floor. I placed my feet on the first shelf, adding my balance onto it, my knees started to tremble as the balance attempt miserably failed. My hands grasped the edge of the small box as my knees finally buckled. I gasped in horror as I didn't fancy my face hitting the lino floor.
The floor seemed a lot closer to me as the back of my head fell against it. It started to move up and down in breathing like motions. I turned my head to one side to see a pair of muscular arms rapped around me. I wasn't on the floor. I was in his arms. He caught me.
"Are you okay?" He asked me.
"Why do you care?!" I said pulling myself away and brushing myself off.
"Well you're still as clumsy as ever," he laughed softly, "Do you want another box? I'll grab them seeing as I'm way taller than you,"
"Stop the bullshit Matthew, what do you want from me?" I asked throwing the box into the basket.
"We need to talk," he said reaching the top shelf.
"No, you've got some explaining to do," I said snatching them off of him.
"I know," he said shamefully, "I'm sorry."
"Sorry?! You've got a fucking nerve!" I yelled before turning around and walking off. I paid for each of my items at the '10 items or less' counter, I just wanted to get out and go home.
Turning on the ignition, I continued listening to my Mayhem CD. The perfect way to channel out all of this built up anger.
I got home as quick as I could without getting one of those stupid speeding tickets. I barged into my kitchen throwing down my house keys and my groceries straight after. The doorbell began to buzz uncontrollably again. "For fucks sake, this is the last thing I need," I muttered to myself. I walked over to the door and flung it open, taking out my irritation on it.
"You forgot these," He said holding up a box of Oreos I had just gotten. Evidently they had fallen out during my rampage back to my car. I snatched them out of his hand before speaking up.
"Do you not take a hint, I don't want to see you, not now, not ever," I tried to keep my cool.
"Please Alibear, we need to talk, it's been so long," he said helplessly. Alibear, he hasn't called me that for years. I sighed in defeat and stepped away from my door letting him in, "Thanks."
"Don't be thankful, I just want to hear your explanation," I snapped slamming my door shut. He looked at me in confusion making the anger slowly build up again, "Oh drop the act Matthew, you haven't spoken to me, your 'best friend' in 4 years, what do you want?!"
"I broke up with Lexi," he sighed, "She cheated on me," I felt every ounce of sympathy just getting thrown out, I didn't care. I grinned at his before saying those four dreaded words:
"I told you so," I smirked, "So you finally admit that I'm right so you come crying back to me after all the shit you put me through and you think I'm going to welcome you back with open arms?" I said with my arms crossed against my chest with a smug grin plastered across my face. He shook his head and sat on my sofa, "Well you're right about something," I added. I sat on the same sofa, just on the other end I turned to him just to sneak another look. He still had the exact same face that I adored. I ached for those dimples to still be there, and his smile to have as much life as it used to.
"Al, I can't tell you enough, I'm sorry, I don't know how to make it up to you," he sighed.
"You can't," I shook my head, "It doesn't matter if it's 10 years later or a couple of months, I'll never be able to forgive you for what you did to me."
"Look, what I did was wrong and I don't know what to do, I just want to be your friend again," he said moving closer.
Matt and I were best friends, we met when we were 13 at some gig that we had both snuck into at the Chain Reaction. We didn't talk after that. But it wasn't until we started high school, we recognised each other straight off, and that was where our friendship started. We were inseparable, where there was Matthew Sanders there was always Alicia Peterson with him, he was my rock. I always watched him pick up the girls, it was easy for him, they would just fall at his feet like he was some kind of God. It made me laugh, to those girls, Matt was just some "hot basketball player in a badass band", but to me, he was the Matt that would sneak up to my room when my parents were arguing, just to make sure I was okay. He was the Matt that skipped school to watch cheesy movies with me when my parents spared my brother and I and finally got a divorce. He let me into his home when my mom kept herself occupied with work to keep her mind off of her failed marriage. He was the one that helped me home when we had our first drop of alcohol together in our "spot" at central park.
He was the only one that cared for me. He was my first love and I didn't get the chance to ever tell him.