Perfectly Destroying Me

I stirred the hot water into with the coffee granules, pouring some milk in afterwards. "So are you going to tell me that happened?" I asked setting a cup of coffee in front of him.
"There's nothing to tell really, I got back from the recording studio and I found Lexi in bed with another guy," he shrugged, "I don't care, it just gave me an excuse to end it sooner."

"So, why are you acting all down then, if you didn't care?" I asked.

"She's not the one that I want back," he said softly, I nodded and looked to him, "I really miss you."

"Matt, you really fucking hurt me, you took everything I ever loved and dragged them away from me," I said, there weren't tears. It was the truth, the truth should hurt him not me. I've done my fair share of crying and it's not something I want to do any more.

"So if you want to be friends again, why now? I mean, if you really wanted to be friends you wouldn't have done what you did," I stated.

"I know, you have no idea what it's like to have a girlfriend or boyfriend that you're in love with so fucking much," he said, it's true. To this day, I haven't had a boyfriend. Not one. Every time I get close to one, I just think 'Matt's got a nicer smile' or 'He's nothing like Matt'. I hated that feeling and all I ever wanted to do was shake it off. But it was impossible.
"You just want to spend every waking moment with them, you'd do anything for them and you can't stop thinking about them," he stated, I felt my heart break slowly, finally shattering to millions of pieces. I felt a few tears stroll down my face. I guess there were a few tears left. "What's wrong?" he asked putting his arm around me.

"Don't touch me," I said through tears, jerking my shoulders so he couldn't lay a finger on me, "Matt I think it's best if you go, I need some time alone,"

"I'm not going anywhere, we need to sort this out once and for all."

"Fine, I'm going out just for a walk," I said standing up from the sofa, "You can stay here or you can go, I'm not making you do anything, but there's something I want to ask," He turned around to face me, "Do the decent thing," I sniffed. I grabbed my baggy hooded jumper and walked out of the door, letting a few tears escape from my eyes. I wiped them off with the long sleeves and walked down the road, knowing exactly where I was headed to.

Matt's P.O.V.

I sat on the sofa replaying what Ally said to me over and over again 'do the decent thing' . What exactly did she mean by that? I guess she meant walking out of the door and never walking back into her life again. That definitely isn't an option. She could have meant for me to stay here until she gets back, or maybe follow her?

I heard the sound of the ignition from a car coming to a halt from the outside and a door slam. A second or two later I heard a voice. "I thought I told you, Ali doesn't want anything to do with you," the voice said, it was her younger brother, Ethan.

"Well, believe it or not, I came to see her but she headed out," I shrugged leaning back on the sofa some more. He rolled his eyes and sat next to me.

"Look Matt, it's awesome that you've decided to come and see her, but she doesn't need this," He sighed placing his feet on the coffee table.

"What?" I asked.

"She doesn't need people walking in and out of her life, it's not fair."

"I know, I messed up but I'm here to stay, that's if she wants me to," I explained, "She just left the house and told me to do the 'decent thing', whatever the hell that means," I shrugged.

"Maybe the decent thing means going to find her," Ethan replied standing from the sofa and walking into the kitchen. I nodded and stood from the sofa. I know exactly where she'll be.

Normal P.O.V.

I sat on a stump letting my eyes wander around all of the surroundings, trees, trees everywhere. And through the small gap, I could see central park. I looked down at my hand and stared at the glass bottle gracing it. 40's, like old times. I reached into my pocket and took out a Marlboro Red cigarette, I lit it and let the poison overtake my body. "Mind if I join you?" the voice startled me. I nodded my head and looked to Matt, who's tall figure ducked to avoid his head from hitting one of the many branches.

I held the bottle in front of him, waiting to accept it, "how did you know I was here?" I asked.

"Well," he started taking the bottle out of my hands, "Where else would you be? The six of us spent every waking and passed out, moment here," he laughed to himself. I smiled 'the six of us'.

"Good times," I said softly.

"Yeah," he said taking another sip of my drink before handing it back to me. I started laughing to myself, making Matt turn around with his eyebrows raised.

"Do you remember that one time, Brian's mom came out and she was pissed!" I said letting all of my laughter out.

"Oh yeah and we could just hear her from the distance, 'Briiiiaaaannn!'" Matt said doing an impression of Brian's mom, "But nothing beats that time when Johnny ran out in his drunken state and moonied that old couple," Matt replied barely holding back laughter.

"Yeah and then they threatened to call the cops on us," I said reminiscing about the best times of my life, "And Jimmy chasing those fucking ducks," I sighed shaking my head, "He ended up falling in the lake that one time."

"There's no way I'll ever forget that!" Matt said trying to catch his breath. "There's something really satisfying about a lanky 6'4 guy, with gravity defying hair and those fucking kimonos chasing every living creature, humans and ducks were never safe," My sides were hurting so badly from the amount of laughing I was doing.

"Oh my God! What about when Zacky got arrested when he was in MPA for that 'stolen equipment', his mom wasn't impressed," I added.

"Yeah I'll never forget him just yelling, 'I didn't do shit! Call my lawyer!' at the top of his lungs, while the cops carried him off," Matt added.

"Yeah," I laughed, "But what about the time the principle died," I added.

"What makes you think I'd forget that! I got the fucking blame!" Matt shouted, "And it was your idea to dig up those fucking trees!" The laughter slowly died creating an awkward silence "What happened to us?" Matt asked.

"I don't know," I shrugged taking a last toke of my cigarette before throwing it to the ground, "people change, you guys got signed, you got a girlfriend who hated my fucking guts, and we just grew apart I guess, you just took the guys with you," I sighed.

"I'm so sorry, I wish we could go back and be just like it used to."

"Do you think they're still there?" I asked, zoning out, ignoring Matt's previous statement.

"What?"

"Our names," I said standing up and walking over to one of the trees. I looked up and down it until it caught my eye. All of our names engraved into the ancient tree, I scanned up and down, first was Brian's who carved it twice because he miss spelt it and put 'Brain', then was Jimmy's with a little stick person and big hair, then Johnny, who was yet to join the band, but we was soon to follow with the guys just a couple of years later. Zacky's was next who had carved "Zacky V A7X" he had thought of that abbreviation that very night. He carved it on the tree so he wouldn't forget it and so people would know that he thought of it. It's a shame he forgot about me really. Then it was Matt who wrote 'Shadows' next to it, then my name underneath where Brian had carved a rough love heart around both of our names. And underneath all of our names we carved " Friends 4 life, June '99"

"Looks like they're still there," Matt said standing next to me. I could tell his eye's lingered around both of our names, "Good times," he sighed.

"I should be getting back," I said walking over to the tree stump to grab my cigarettes.

"I guess this is goodbye, well at least I'm doing it properly this time," Matt sighed.

"That's funny, I thought you wanted to talk things through," I smiled, "Come on," I said, we both walked out of the Spot and back to my house. Reliving each memory as it came.