Criticize

Lee Aiden didn't know what to think of Raven.
She didn't know him personally, per say. She just watched him from afar. All she knew of was his name and unusual peace of mind.
He did everything on his own terms, she noticed. He decided when he showed up, when he came down to the ring, what kind of matches he made and devised. Cruel and unusual, but somehow, it intrigued her. Even though she knew it shouldn't.
Raven was her forbidden fruit, Lee had proposed. And there was no denying that fact.
Since coming to TNA, she had found herself drawn to the mysterious man from the Bowery. She would watch him from the sidelines, observing his tactics and movesets. And as time passed, Lee realized that she was continuously being sucked in to a world she wouldn't survive in. She had no chance with Raven. No chance of anything.

I need you, you need me
We make the perfect kind of misery
I help you and you help me
Become the one I swore I'd never be
The one that I don't ever want be

But surprisingly, it wasn't too long until she was approached by him. It was after the announcement for an all-female Monster's Ball match. Lee, along with two other competitors, would be locked away for twenty-four hours with no food, water, or light. Just like he had done some time ago.
It was strange, to her. The fact that he would even think of giving her the time of day.
"Never thought they'd make a women's version." he spoke up.
Surprised, she turned her head and saw the mystery himself, brown hair sticking to his face, eyebrow piercing shining in the dim lights of the backstage area, tattoos blending in with his skin.
Strange to say the least, she thought to herself, and said aloud.
He only gave a nod as his response, but proceeded to look her up and down. Her clothing style was unlike that of most Knockouts he'd seen. Shredded band tees, baggy, ripped jean khakis, combat boots... it nearly mirrored his own, in a way.
Raven bit his lip and stared at her with his brown eyes. Before he turned to walk in the other direction, he had said, "I hope you know what you're getting yourself into."
Lee understood what he meant. He didn't need to say anything to her about luck or favoritism. Just a simple warning.
And she expected nothing less.

When they saw each other again, it wasn't until three weeks after the Victory Road Pay-Per-View. And it was also the first time they would share an actual conversation that lasted more than four sentences.
"You ever heard of a Clockwork Orange match?"
His question, odd as it may have seemed, interested her enough. Still, she glanced up and shook her head.
"By the sound of it, I'm guessing it's something you created."
Raven let a smirk cross his face. "Something like that," he nearly chuckled. "Almost as extreme as a Monster's Ball, in a way. If you want to call it that."
Lee allowed herself to relax in her seat on the bench. "I can see where that twisted mind of yours comes into play," she replied.
He simply rolled his eyes. Not in annoyance, but as if he had heard that from people one too many times. It was a quirk of his, she noticed eventually.
"What's it all consist of?" the woman questioned.
He didn't need to go into detail. Everything could be explained with a simple dosage of words for a description. And all the while, she sat, intrigued by his still unknown personality.

I like the way you won't apologize
I like the way you just demoralize
I like the way you always roll your eyes
Someone as perfect as you is hard to criticize

Over time, Lee never imagined that she would become even half as close as she was to Raven. But she was unsure of what to call what they had. Was it friendship? It certainly wasn't a romantic relationship; she never pegged him as someone to get that close to anyone, let alone her. Friendship was more or less the best bet.
But when she found out that he was leaving, it felt as if a bullet had torn through her chest.
"You can't go," she managed through gritted teeth and held back tears. She tried to sound angry, but it came off as something different to her. Weakness. She couldn't look weak. Not in front of him. "What will Hardcore be without you?"
Raven couldn't look at her. His gaze never left the floor. She studied him closely... was that a look of shame across his face?
"I won't be leaving forever," he assured. "There's just... something I need to take care of." He finally was able to look up at her face. "But I'll come back. I swear."
Lee took the one and only chance she probably would ever have, and pulled him into an embrace. "You'd better."

Four years passed, but none the less, Raven had kept his promise. Lee had predicted correctly that Hardcore would plummet down the drain with his long departure, but when he returned, that would all change.
Since his departure, the reign of Hardcore had fallen into the Knockout's hands. She carried as much of the legacy on her shoulders as she possibly could, even with the enemies she had made. Consisting mainly of Daffney and Doctor Stevie, and half-concern for Abyss, it felt to her like TNA had become more of an asylum with the patients running loose rather than a wrestling company.
When she saw his familiar face in the ring, her heart soared. She had to resist the urge to run out from backstage and throw her arms around him. But then she saw him whack her friend with a kendo stick. He had aligned himself with them. Her enemies.
And once more, her world was shattered.
Lee turned around and started to walk the other way, until that voice brought her out of her reverie.
"I told you I'd come back."
He was there behind her. She knew he was. Spinning around to look at him, she noticed that the only physical difference was his hair; longer, blonde, and in dreadlocks. But otherwise, it was still the same Raven.
Then she remembered- no, it wasn't.
"What the hell was that out there?" she finally snapped. "Do you realize what you just did?"
"I did it to help him," he replied, again with little emotion, referring to Abyss. "It's the only way."
"Bullshit!" she glared at him, meeting his eyes. Shutting her own, she walked closer. "I knew you were diabolical, but this is just crossing the line too much." Purposefully bumping his shoulder as she walked past him, she finished, "You're not even you anymore."
And that was the only time she remembered Raven's normally expressionless face twist into a look of shock.

Suppress this, this hatred
I stand beside you while you soak it in
Spit on me, I taste it
I love you more and you just fake it
I want you more and you just fake it

How did I get myself into this, Lee asked herself. How did she wind up in a Clockwork Orange match- with Daffney, of all people? She would have never thought that Raven would tell her to devise this, especially against herself. What was next, a Hangman’s Horror match? What had happened to him in the time he was gone?
Did their friendship mean nothing to them? She was curious about that, and many other things. Something had happened to him. This was not her friend. This was not her Raven.
“This shouldn’t be happening,” she whispered to herself while running her fingers through her hair. “This isn’t you…”
At that moment, her opponent took the opportunity to sneak into her locker room and smirk at her, her reflection visible in the large mirror. “Oh, does the poor little girl miss her precious little best friend?”
Lee let out a snarl. Daffney had no business getting into her business. “I didn’t ask you,” she retorted. “Get out.”
“On the contrary,” Daffney snickered, moving to stand behind the brunette seated in a chair. “I want to be here.” Her fingers traced the back of the chair. “Poor little Lee doesn’t have her Raven to support her anymore.” Her smirk became bigger. “Because now, he has me instead.”
At the sound of that, Lee snapped up from her position and grabbed the other woman violently by the collar of her shirt, pulling her forward until she was attempting to choke her. “You take that back. Right. Now.”
Daffney grinned wider, showing her teeth through her black lipstick. “And what happens if I don’t, huh?”
She was asking for it. She was pushing the brunette’s buttons beyond belief. But she wouldn’t give in to her childish threats. Instead, she released her grip on Daffney’s shirt and pushed her backwards, sending her to the floor. “I’ll save it for the match,” she answered. “You’ll see later tonight.”

And see later tonight she would. Lee was on an absolute rampage. Every weapon at either woman’s disposal was snatched up by her and smashed over Daffney’s head. There was blood everywhere. On her face, on the brunette’s hands, on the floor of the ring, on every chair, table and trash can lid.
She turned and saw Raven staring at them. His brown eyes met her blue ones. Again, like always, no emotion whatsoever.
Lee narrowed her eyes and mouthed to him, “You asked for this,” before giving her opponent a solid Raven Effect onto a steel chair. She lifted Daffney’s leg and heard the count of, “1, 2, 3!”
She didn’t bother celebrating. Instead, she crawled out of the ring and strode up the ramp. Hearing footsteps behind her retreating form, she knew Raven was following her.
“Lee, I-“
“Don’t even fucking start,” she snapped, whirling around to face him. By every fiber in her being, she had to resist falling to her knees or every urge to hug him. It was hard. “What gave you the sick idea of having your little bitch back there ask for this? And against me?”
She glared. He didn’t. “What the hell were you thinking?”
Once more, he said nothing. No response, no apology, no nothing. With that, Lee turned and ran down the hall, hoping he didn’t see the tears falling from her eyes.

I like the way you won't apologize
I like the way you just demoralize
I like the way you always roll your eyes
Someone as perfect as you is hard to criticize

She slapped herself. She shouldn’t feel this. She couldn’t feel this.
Lee had told herself when she had first laid eyes on him that he was her forbidden fruit. Even so, that was five years ago. How could she still feel something for him? After everything that had happened, and was still happening?
How could Lee Aiden be in love with Raven?
“Snap out of this nonsense,” she growled, pulling at the brown strands of her hair. “You knew this was bad from the start, don’t drag it on!”
She smashed her hand on the table. She threw a chair across the room. She hit her head on the door. She punched the wall until her knuckled turned white and bled. Still, no matter how much pain she inflicted on herself, it didn’t change a thing.
She loved him.
“Why?” The tears finally fell. After five years of holding them in, they started to fall. “Why the hell does nothing change? He’s not good for me.” She choked back a sob. “Daffney was right. He has her now. What’s the point of even trying to convince myself that I had a chance at all?”

Lee didn’t come out of her locker room that night. It wasn’t that she had something planned, because she didn’t. She just didn’t want the entire roster to see her disheveled appearance and red, puffy face from crying for the past two hours.
When TNA ended for the night, she was the first one gone. Her suitcase packed, she arrived at the hotel and stalked down the hall to her room.
But there was something she forgot to remember.
She was rooming next to Raven.
“…You’re crying?”
His voice effortlessly reached her ears despite its low volume. This time, she didn’t turn around. She just stared straight ahead.
“This surprises you?” she quipped sarcastically. “I’ve been holding back for five years and you never even bothered to notice until now? That’s great, just fucking lovely.”
Raven stared at the back of her head. “I had a feeling something was bothering you. I just didn’t think it would affect you like this.”
“Well, take a good look,” she replied, now facing him. Her eyes were glossy and blurry. She had been crying. Hard. “This is what’s going on. This is what you do to me.”
His eyebrows rose slightly. “What I do to you? What do you mean?”
“Don’t you get it?” She groaned, walking over to stand in front of him and placing her hands on his shoulders. “I’ve admired you for five years. I’ve been intrigued by you for five years. And even when you came back and associated yourself with the enemy, somehow, nothing has changed.”
Her fingers gripped the thick leather fabric of his jacket. “I love you, Raven.”
Lee didn’t wait for an answer; she just turned on her heel and walked away.
But a firm, yet gentle grasp on her hand stopped her.
He pulled her back to him, brushing a strand of hair out of her face and running a hand down her cheek. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“Wh-what?” she started. “But… but you have Daffney. You- she said that-“
“Daffney?” he chuckled. “She’s an apprentice, if anything. You are my best friend. Maybe even more,” he cupped her face. “And nothing will change that.”
With that, Raven planted his lips onto hers. Immediately, she returned the kiss, bringing him closer with her arms snaked around his neck. His tongue slipped inside her mouth, exploring every crevice it could find. Sliding the key into his door, they stumbled into the room, quickly becoming a tangled mess of lips and limbs, tripping onto the bed covers, clothes removed and scattered, their moans accompanying them the last remainder of the night.

There's always something wrong
There's something I didn't do
There's always something I'm afraid I'm going to lose
There's nothing I can say
There's nothing I can do
No matter how hard I try, I wake up next to you

“Raven!” Lee called out to him from the roped-off section of the backstage area. She smiled when his familiar face, tattoos, and blonde with black hair appeared from the hallway, hands in his jean pockets. “Care to help me train for my dog collar match against Daffney next week?” She gave him a little smirk, which he returned.
“Of course,” he answered, ducking under the ropes. “But I have my own dog collar in mind to use, if you don’t mind.” Placing his hands around her neck, he slowly brought her in for a kiss. He let up on his grip once he felt the woman smile against his mouth. Pulling back, he brushed his lips against her forehead.
“After all this time…” he murmured, referring to the six years they knew each other. The beginning, the middle, and the now. The differences and disagreements. “No matter what I did, you still kept faith in me.” His forehead met hers. “Why?”
She grinned. “It wasn’t easy,” the woman began. “There were ups and downs, we both know that. But you always managed to be yourself. Even with every flaw and mistake.”
He rolled his eyes again.
“And besides,” she added. “Someone as perfect as you is very hard to criticize.”
Raven smiled- a true, genuine smile- and kissed her again.
The dog collar match could wait, Lee decided. She had her forbidden fruit to taste at the moment.

I like the way you won't apologize
I like the way you just demoralize
I like the way you always roll your eyes
Someone as perfect as you is hard to criticize
It’s hard to criticize.