My Heart Needs An Attitude Adjustment

It was a dreary, rainy morning in Chicago as I drove into the United Center parking lot. This was home and I loved it, no matter the weather, and I was going to miss it. You see, tonight was my first night as the newest WWE Diva. Of course I was excited; I had been waiting for this day my entire life. But I was also scared out of my mind; afraid I was going to do horrible and lose my job on my first night, afraid I would never make any friends and be a loner for the rest of my life.

All of these thoughts were spinning around in my mind as I entered the UC and headed to Triple H’s office. He wanted me there early so he could show me around and we could go over all of the final details of my working with WWE; mostly deciding if I was going to be a heel or baby-face, and finalizing my theme song.

I was relieved when he said I didn’t have to worry about dressing up; I always felt more comfortable in my regular clothes. I parked my car, got out, slung my beloved Blackhawks purse over my shoulder, grabbed my bags and headed into the building. He told me where to go when we spoke yesterday, so I knew where I was going and found his office right away. I took a deep breathe, adjusted my Jonathan Toews jersey on my shoulders and knocked. I heard a faint “come in,” and slowly opened the door.

“Mr. Triple H?” I said as I entered the office. I saw that Eve and John Laurinaitis were there with him, and I was instantly intimidated. He looked at me and his face lit up.

“Jean, Jean please come right on in,” he said welcomingly, standing from his seat and motioning for me to have a seat. He noticed my nervousness and chuckled. “There’s no need to be nervous Jean. Don’t worry about Johnny here; he’s just here to listen. We’re all glad to have you here, and Eve wouldn’t hurt a fly off-screen.” When he said that, Eve smiled widely at me and nodded.

“He’s right,” she said, “most of us Divas are like normal girls outside the ring; but there are a few that are just awful inside and outside the ring. But the only ones you really have to worry about are Beth and Maxine. They’re the only ones that would give you trouble,” she said, and I nodded.

“Alright; let’s get down to business, shall we?” Triple H said as he sat down behind his desk. “Now, as for you starting out as a face or heel, I would like to see you somewhere in the middle right now. Meaning, you portray both a face and a heel; like CM Punk. Is that okay?” he asked and I nodded. “Good. Then, as storylines progress, we’ll get a feel of how you are and how your character should behave. Now for your theme song. You gave us a few options, and we think we chose the perfect one for you. We see you as the revolution of the Divas’ division; hell, the entire WWE. So, we’re making your theme song “Revolution” by Pennywise.” My face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Really!? I was actually hoping I would get that song!” I said excitedly. “Thank you so much, sir. I absolutely cannot wait until tonight,” I said as I stood up and shook his hand firmly.

“Please, call me Paul; Hunter when we’re on the air,” he replied, as he shook my hand back before ushering Eve and I to the door. “Now, Eve will show you around the place; though I doubt you need much of a tour, it is your home town after all; I would imagine you’ve been in this building many times,” he said with a chuckle.

“Shall we?” Eve asked as we headed out the door. “I’ll show you where the Divas’ locker room is first; that way you can drop off your stuff,” she said and I nodded. “Are you always this quiet?” she asked with a chuckle.

“I’m just really shy when I first meet new people,” I replied with a shrug. “I usually get over it fairly quickly, like I am with you right now; unless I really like the guy I meet for the first time. Then I almost never get over it,” I chuckled. “And, can I just say, with the most respect possible since I don’t want to lose my job on my first night, you are such an evil bitch on screen; no offense,” I said quickly. She just waved me off with a smile.

“Believe me, it’s just on screen. A majority of the heel Divas are the same; sweethearts outside the ring. You have nothing to worry about; I’m sure they’ll welcome you with open arms. And here we are; the Divas’ locker room,” she said as we stopped in front of a set of double doors with a ‘Divas’ locker room’ sign on them. “You can go ahead and pick a spot and put your stuff down; then I’ll take you to the guerilla position,” she said as I put my suitcases out of the way in a corner of the room.

“So,” I started as I rejoined her and we left the room, “are a lot of the people here approachable? Would they talk to me if I tried to talk to them?” I asked. She nodded.

“Yeah, almost all of the superstars and divas are very approachable. But I would stay away from Mike, The Miz. He is just as obnoxious behind the scenes as he is in the ring. But everyone is usually pretty welcoming to new superstars, so don’t you worry about a thing. And here we are,” she said as we approached a tented area. “This is the guerilla position; where everyone waits before they head down to the ring. Oh, and that reminds me; Paul probably forgot to say this, but we’re not starting you off as a valet. Everyone on the Board of Directors has seen what you can do, and they all agree that they want you in the ring ASAP. So, your first match is tonight!” she said happily.

“Are you serious?” I asked, dumbfounded. She nodded her head furiously, a huge smile on her face. “Who’s my opponent?” I asked.

“You’re first opponent is going to be the Divas’ Champion, Layla. Everyone wants to see just what you can do and put you into a title picture right away. Like Paul said, you’re the revolution of the WWE.”

“Well, in that case, is there anywhere I can work out and prepare for this match?” I asked as we walked away from the guerilla position. She nodded.

“Yes there is. We have a room set up just for working out in; it has every machine you can think of. Let me show you where it is,” she said as we turned a corner. “Here we are,” she said as she opened another door. “And, we even have a projector if you want to watch a movie or something as you work out.” My face lit up. “What?” she chuckled.

“If there is one thing you should know about me, it’s this; I’m a HUGE fan of Disney. If I have free time, I’m usually watching a Disney movie,” I chuckled. “And you just made my day when you said there’s a projector in here.”

“Well, I won’t waste any more of your Disney time; have fun, and welcome to the WWE!” she said as she left me alone to work out.