Dark Side

At least twice a week Harry would take me out somewhere special whether it was dinner – and yes it took me time to start eating again, and I still struggled now – or even just a cute coffee date, sometimes a stroll in the park could suffice. Paparazzi had only now began to appear out of the darkness, but Harry and explained to me over and over that he would let nothing happen to me. And I took his word for it every time. The fact that another two weeks had gone by and only one week was left before the boys took off for their tour, I could hardly let myself think about it without wanting to cry and blame myself for letting this happen. I even some times opened up to Harry about how I felt and he reassured me that he would talk to Simon and the tour manager about having me tag a long. I felt guilty and ashamed that I couldn't be strong on my own for six months, but again Harry would tell me that it was okay to feel that way because he felt it too.

My eyes blinked as I looked at myself in the mirror, studying over my outfit, my make up, and my hair. I had ignored the comments in my head about my body and picked out the pieces about myself that I liked. I enjoyed my hair today, my long dark curls falling down my back and around my face peacefully. I thought about my eyes and how this new mascara really made my colour stand out unlike any other time. There were never many positives about myself, but each time I looked in the mirror I would repeat kind words in my head, and sometimes I would even believe it.

Biting my lip I took one last look in the mirror before leaving my room and heading down the stairs where Harry stood, waiting for me with a smile on his face. “You look beautiful,” His comment made my cheeks flush bright. I rolled my eyes and pecked his cheek before I followed him out to his car.

“I'm looking forward to this big surprise that you have planned for me,” Opening the door for me, I thanked him and slid in, buckling my self instantly. Seconds later Harry was driving us down the road, this path I was unfamiliar with.

“Well you'll recognize it soon,” but when he pulled into a deserted parking lot, I didn't understand. He looked over at my confused expression and chuckled. “You'll need this blind fold.” He tossed a black blind fold in my lap, which I slowly tied around my eyes so I could only see darkness.

“How the hell am I going to find my way?” I squealed as Harry answered my question by lifting me in his arms. “I'm a bit worried about this, Harry.”

I heard Harry chuckle once again and soon felt his warm lips on mine. “You are one impatient little girl,”

“Little?” I scoffed, slapping my hand against his chest. I soon heard a door open and felt a rush of cold air as Harry walked a little farther. It was very quiet so I knew that we were alone. But why was it so cold.

“I'm sure you can feel the temperature drop. Now you know why I asked you to wear a jacket,” I laughed, nodding my head as I felt Harry slowly put me on my feet. “Now on the count of three I'm going to unmask you, yeah?” I nodded, smiling eagerly. “Alright, one, two. . . three.”

Darkness was taken away by bright lights which at first blinded me. My eyes found familiarity instantly at the scene that unfolded before me. The tall ceiling held up the large rows of seats that went all around the room. I looked at the rink in front of my and let out a loud laugh before turning to Harry and jumping into his arms. “How did you do this?! Really Harry?”

“I'm Harry Styles, Lana, how else do you think I got us a private couple of hours in an ice skating rink?” I laughed and pulled him in for a kiss. It was passionate but short, I was all too excited. Harry pointed to the ice skates that leaned against one of the seats. Eagerly I tore off my shoes and laced up my skates. I hadn't been this excited for something in far too long. I watched and waited as Harry struggled to lace his skates. I laughed and slapped his hand away.

“You need to crossed these hear and hook them up before crossing them again, silly,” I finished his within seconds and pulled him to his feet. We hobbled down the stairs until we reached the gate.

Harry pulled my arm and made me face him. “I think I'm just going to stick right here for a second. I want you to get back out there on your own first, yeah?” I smiled up at him before pecking his lips. As soon as I took off the skate guards I opened the door and hopped onto the ice. I wobbled at first before getting the feel for it instantly. I smiled at myself as my legs slid back and forth over the smooth ice. The cold air bit at my skin but it was a feeling I'd gotten used to when it came to skating. My head turned to see Harry grinning like a fool at me as I enjoyed myself. I turned around and began to skate backwards, effortlessly moving my feet in and out to gain momentum.

“You look beautiful,” I heard Harry yell. I smirked at him and skated back over to him.

“And why aren't you going to join me?” I bit my lip and smiled.

“Lana, this is all for you. We will have time, I just want you to enjoy this moment by yourself.” Leaning over, he kissed my forehead before pushing me gently back into the ice. “Why don't you go do that fancy stuff they do in the tournaments?”

I left out a loud laugh and nodded. “I'm a bit rusty, I'm sure of it.” Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head, of course he would believe me.

As I skidded my skates into a 'T' I looked to the opposite site of the rink and measured the length and how fast I could go before I would need to take my leap. Sliding out of my pose I began to skate, grazing my skates against the ice and I gained momentum once again. I felt myself rise into the air as I twisted my body just enough to land back on my feet. I could hear Harry cheer for me but now I was zoning into my old world. Now like I had told Harry, I was a bit rusty, so when I performed the haircutter spin I was afraid that I would fail. But to my surprise I finished it perfectly. I began to form all different types of spins, before soon skating into waltz jump, and then my favourite, the mazurka. I could feel the adrenaline running through my veins as I performed all of the old elements that were now coming back to memory. I felt exhausted only because these memories were hidden away and forgotten for so long.

I sighed, skating back over to where Harry stood, amused. “Lana, you definitely need to stop underestimating yourself. You are amazing. Why didn't you make yourself pro?”

A laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it, “I just did this for fun, Harry. I couldn't handle competing professionally. No thank you,” Harry rolled his eyes and laughed. “Alright, mister, now you need to come out and show me how horrible you are.”

Harry scoffed, “Actually, I am a very good ice skater, I just didn't want to tell you and make you feel bad.” I held back an eye roll and opened the door so Harry could come out. I watched as he looked at the ice, his adam's apple bobbed in his throat.

“C'mon, Harry. Since you are so good come show me how good you are.” I chuckled, inviting him for some playful competition.

I think his ego blind sighted him because in seconds he was on the ice, but not on his feet. “I guess I'm a little rusty as well, yeah?” I nodded, folding my arms across my chest. Finally he got to his feet and brushed himself off. “Alright, give me something and I will do it.”

“I'm sorry, what?”

“You heard me, Lana.”

I bit back my laughter, “Alright, give me a half axel and then come back to an open axel.” His eyes widened before he quickly hid it with a smirk.

“Those are quite simple,” Again, rolling my eyes I watched as he slowly slid himself out to the middle of the rink. He looked around himself before sliding out only two feet before throwing himself in the air and landing on his butt with an 'oof'.

My hands slapped together slowly as I let out a howl of laughter. “My lord Harry you most definitely proved me wrong! You're better than the pros themselves!” Harry glared at me and struggled to his feet. “This is your first time isn't it?”

He scoffed as he wiped himself off again. “Yes, it is.” A smirk appeared on his face as I slid over to him and helped him up. “Mind teaching me a few things?” Biting my lip I shrugged and in response I got a cheeky smile.

“You need balance, that is all that it's about, alright? Now pull your shoulders back and puff your chest out – no not that far Harry, you're not macho man. Yes, there!” I watched as Harry slowly learned each piece to skating. His balance was still in a rough patch so that had forced me into holding his hands the whole time, but it wasn't like I minded it.

“But what if I don't want to make a 'T'?” I rolled my eyes at his question.

“How else do you want balance yourself and not fall on your arse?”

“You could just hold me?”

“Cheeky, aren't we Styles?” My cheeks flushed as he pulled himself closer. We began to skate together and slowly but surely Harry got the hang of it. He wanted to try figure eight's and half axels but I told him he wasn't quite ready for those yet. It could have been cliché to some but as we held hands and I lead him around the rink multiple times, I fell harder and harder for him. As I skated backwards and him forwards I looked into his intoxicating green eyes as he looked into mine. We didn't have to speak to tell each other how we felt. Just being that close was more than enough. The two of use were so lost in each other that we didn't bother to pay attention as we ran into the side wall, my back pressing against it as Harry fell closer to me.

We didn't continue, we just stood there looking at each other as our faces got closer. I could feel his warm breath tickle my skin, his smell filled my lungs and it was like another high. I felt his hands grab my sides gently as my hands pulled him in. The silence was overwhelming I couldn't take it anymore. Our lips crashed onto each others within seconds, the taste and touch of him were never enough. I desperately pulled him closer tugging on his lips with my own. Our mouths opened together as his tongue licked my lip asking for entrance. As granted we explored each other in ways we had never before. His lips pressed against mine softly, slowly and with precision. Not one maneuver that they made was an accident. His tongue slid between my tender lips and ran along my own as if he were trying to show me what it could do. I tried just as hard in return and was surprised when I felt a gentle moan against my mouth. An uncontrollable grin stretched across my face and only seconds later it was matched on his. He fell forward a little, his forehead pressing against mine as we looked into one anothers eyes, smiling. Not even seconds later our lips were attached again, shocking signals shot through my body, telling me that this was good, this was okay. Soon I could feel his hands start to explore my body slowly, hesitantly. I was too in the moment to notice Harry's hand trembling down my stomach and down my thighs until he was between my legs, feeling me slowly through my leggings.

The tingling feeling I felt only grew stronger as his fingers pushed closer into me. I was surprised to hear another small moan come out of my mouth as Harry smirked against my lips. Harry's hands soon disappeared from between my legs and made an appearance at the top of my leggings. His fingers slowly made their way inside and just as he was about to go lower I snapped out of our sexual trance and shoved him away.

“Stop, stop please.” I gasped for air as I leaned over and looked down at the ice. A second later I was up and skating back over to the door. I hopped out and fell to the seats and tore off my skates, throwing on my shoes. I could feel a panic attack begin to rise as my breath shortened. I panicked as I finished my other shoe. Harry was on his knees in front of me in seconds. As I tried to hide my face from him his arms were too strong and I lost as he pulled him away. His hands grabbed my face and pulled it up. I forced back tears that were already sliding down my cheeks.

“Lana, I – I am so sorry. I didn't mean for any of that to happen, I should have stopped when the kissing got more intense. I'm so sorry, Lana I -”

I shook my head and pushed him away, putting my head in my lap. I was being stupid, I ran away for good reasons but now I was being stupid. “You can't, Harry. You just can't do that. I can't -”

“I am sorry, Lana – look at me, “ His hands were on my face again, pulling my gaze away from the ground and up to his eyes. “We are going at your own pace, alright? I am more than okay with this, and I'm sorry for what happened out there.” His thumbs wiped away my tears as I began to calm down.

“I am such an idiot, I shouldn't be crying over this,”

“No, it's okay, love. I put you in a very uncomfortable position and I should not have done that. It's my fault and I'm sorry.” Again I took a breath and finally began to calm my nerves. I nodded, before kissing his lips gently.

“Okay.” I bit my bottom lip and looked at his fallen face. “We're fine. This is fine.” Harry hesitantly nodded before finding himself next to me as he pulled his own shoes back on. After putting our skates away he pulled me to my feet and grabbed my face in a gut wrenching, incredibly passionate kiss.

“Do you mind if I say something? I don't know exactly how you feel right now Lana, but for me this is completely real. I feel like this will last between us, and I'm in this for the long run, but I just feel like I should say -”

“I love you, Harry. I love you too.” His face lightened up immediately, the smile on his face warmed my heart while the smile on my face merely mirrored his own. He grabbed my face and kissed my lips, my nope, my cheeks, my forehead.

Harry chuckled, “I love you, little bird.”