My Paper Heart

We exited the car, tray in hand, and I walked casually behind Sasha, who had his fists shoved into his pockets. The man on the porch looked up at us from under his brows, and let out a sigh, white smoke billowing from his lips and nostrils. He licked his lips and popped a smile onto his face. "Hey kiddo," he said. His voice was low and slightly gravelly, kind of like Sasha's. Sasha nodded.

"Hey Dad," he mumbled before entering the house. I waved at him, trying not to be rude. He smiled up at me. He looked tired.

I followed after Sasha, not wanting to get left behind. I already felt out of place. I feel out of place every where I go.

"I can not believe you just did that! What the hell is your problem Wayne?!" a horrible voice, that reminded me of Sarah Jane and Sadie mixed together, screamed at the top of their lungs.

"For the love of god, Rae, shut up! I have a fucking migrane!" a husky voice shouted. It was just like Sasha's dad's voice. Identical.

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT YOUR TRAPS!" a second female voice commanded. The room hushed. Sasha sighed heavily, and walked in the kitchen, where the fight must've occurred. A dainty woman with flaming red hair in a bun stood in the doorway, while another girl, younger, with equally red hair, sat at the table, glaring at another boy. He also had red hair. And glasses. And stubble.

He looked indy.

The girl at the table whipped around. "Christ it's you Sasha, why don't you just crawl into a hole and die?! You were gone for a night, and I was actually enjoying myself!" she shouted. I narrowed my eyes at her. "And you're bringing pink haired creeps home, great!" The small woman glared at her.

"Rae Lin! For the love of god, apologize!" she barked. The girl sneered, and stood up, picking up a jacket, and storming out the door.

The boy at the table slumped into his arms, sighing relieved. "Thank the lord she's gone." The woman rolled her eyes, and engulfed Sasha into a hug, even though he was exactly a foot taller than her.

"Ignore her honey, she just lost a case and she gets horribly prissy. You know how she is."

"Yeah, I know Mom," Sasha said, pulling her close and pushing his face into her hair. He looked hurt. He sighed and pulled back, patting her on the head. She frowned disapprovingly, laughed a little, and looked at me. A wide smile brushed across her lips as her dark green eyes scanned over me.

"Well, hullo! I'm sorry about my daughter, Rae. She is just being grouchy," she said. She instantly had me locked in a hug. I was surprised by her strength, because she couldn't have been taller than five foot three.

"Grouchy is a understatement, Mother," the boy at the table groaned. The woman smiled softly.

"Shush up. You're just as bad, Wayne Carmichael." He rolled his eyes, but I couldn't help but smile. She was an ideal mother. Caring and kind, and petite and pretty. Nothing like my mom.

Sasha was bent over in the fridge taking a swig out of a two liter bottle of coke when I turned to find him.

"So, what's your name honey?" their mother asked.

"Goldie. Uhm, can I ask what to call you, ma'am?" I asked. Both Sasha and Wayne broke out into rough laughter, Sasha almost dropping the bottle on the floor. She glared at them, then smiled at me.

"Certainly not 'ma'am,' honey. You can call me Marlianna." I smiled at her.

"Thanks."

"Aha! Sasha, did you hear that?! She called Ma 'ma'am!'" Wayne cackled, slamming his fist on the table. Sasha was holding onto his stomach, an leaning against the door.

"Y-yeah! I heard it! Ha-ha!" He gave a rough snort. Marlianna put her hands on her hips.

"What's so funny about that?" she snapped.

"Ma, you're almost manlier than Dad!" Wayne roared, his glasses fogging up. Marlianna slapped him in the back of the head, which got him to shut up. She also slapped Sasha after he continued to carry on. Sasha whimpered, and put the cap back on the bottle.

"Now if you brought home girls like Goldie here, I wouldn't be so mad at you for having sex on the couch," Marlianna said, glaring at Wayne. Wayne turned a horrible shade of red, and looked back to whatever he was drawing on the paper table cloth. Sasha snickered. I smirked. Marlianna was turning around on him, just as I had predicted.

"And you, Sasha Quinn," she said slowly. Oh god, this was going to be painful, I could tell. "You've only ever brought home one other girl! I only saw her once, but I knew I didn't like her. I like Goldie much more." I blushed a little. She talked about me like I wasn't there. "So, when did you ask her out?" she asked. Sasha's eyes widened.

"M-mom!" he stuttered. I decided to jump in a save him.

"Oh no, Marlianna, we aren't going out, we're just friends," I scrambled for him. Her face dropped a little bit, but not that much.

"Oh. Oh well, I'm glad he has you as a friend, Goldie," she said. She wrapped me in a hug once more, then let go. "Ugh, I have to go to the grocery store. You all behave, and make sure Oli and Noah are still alive. They've been playing that infernal Xbox thing since 11:30 last night," she sighed. She grabbed a pair of keys, and shoved on some clogs. She trotted down the stairs, letting her hair out of her bun, and shaking it out.

As she got to the landing the door opened and the man from before entered. He smiled. "Hey babe," he said to Marlianna.

"Hey Kelley. I'm going to Food Lion, want anything?" she asked. Kelley shook his head.

"Nah, I'm good." He bent down and kissed her on the mouth. She smiled, laughed, and went farther outside to the cars. I looked at Kelley. He was almost as tall as Sasha, with bright blue eyes, and red hair -- as I mentioned before. His shirt had a patch on it that denoted he was part of the firefighters around here. I bit my lip, and wondered what kind of stress that put on the family; always wondering if he's going to die or not.

I sighed. Kelley passed me, looking me up and down.

"Sasha, who's she?" he asked, like I wasn't there.

"Ma thinks that she's his girlfriend," Wayne chuckled. Sasha threw the coke bottle at him.

"Screw you, hippy," he barked. Kelley rolled his eyes.

"Should've gone straight to the horse's mouth," he sighed. He turned around and faced me, sticking out his hand. "The name's Kelley. May I ask your name, mon cher?"

"Je m'appelle Goldie," I answered, taking his hand. I knew a little French, so kill me.

Kelley smiled, and kissed the back of my hand. I blushed. "Well, it's good to meet you Mademoiselle Goldie." He dropped my hand, and walked off towards a bedroom. Probably his and Marlianna's room.

I looked down and noticed that I was still holding onto the tray. I set it on the table, and scooted it towards Wayne. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, and went back to his drawing. For a second I saw a thin figure with long hair sketched on the paper.

Sasha dragged me into down the stairs into a basement. I passed an open door to a bedroom. Inside Noah and some other redheaded kid were playing Halo 2 on the Xbox 360. They're faces glowed in the dark from the light produced from the TV.

We passed them after I waved at Noah, who barely saw me at the last second. Sasha pushed open a door with lots of graffiti on it. Mostly cartoons and self-drawn Gir pictures. A few picture were of a cranky looking red head with hair draping in his face. It was Sasha. We entered the room, and I had to dodge all the crap on the floor.

I finally landed on a twin mattress with TMNT pillows and Ariel sheets. I raised a brow upon seeing the little mermaid. "Uh, Ariel?" I asked him. He rolled his eyes.

"They were Rae's. Hand-me-downs. You get a lot of those in huge families," he said, dejectedly. He then sighed, and shook out his hair. A goofy smile spread across his face, and he dove for the bed, nearly landing on top of me.

I squealed, and shifted, terrified he was gonna hit me.

He landed jaggedly on his stomach, then rested his chin on his hands. "Hi, dahling, how are ya?" he said, trying to put on a New York accent.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine, dawl," I replied, in the New York accent, failing miserably. He smirked, but his face quickly softened. He licked his lips, and got on all fours. He crawled close to my face, straddling my legs. He looked at me for a second, his blue eyes gleaming. He had the most beautiful face, even if his nose was too big, and the skin around his eyes was pink.

He leaned forward, and trying to put his mouth on mine. I moved my head back and to the side. I didn't know I did it, it was just a natural reaction. He looked at me in a confused way, then tried it again. He brushed his lips on mine. I shuddered, and with shaky hands, I pushed against his chest. "Sasha, no," I said.

Last night was perfectly fine. We were drunk as sin, and I doubt he remembered it.

His breathing was erratic and shallow. "Why not?" he asked. I bit my lip. We were alone in his room, in the basement. He probably wanted to get some, and I just coincidentally was there.

"Just no," I said. "You know I have a boyfriend." Sasha sighed, and rubbed the nape of his neck. Blush spread across his high cheek bones.

"Uhm, I'm sorry," he mumbled. I shook my head.

"Just...don't do it again." I stood up, cracking my back. I looked around his room once more. The carpet was littered with black clothes and camos and some sudden flashes of bright color. In one corner was a desk that held an ancient white computer on it. Next to the visibly sticky desk was about three tool boxes, all bright red and shiny, all at the foot of the bed, which -- like mine -- was just a box spring and a mattress on the floor.

I turned my head to the opposite side of the room. Behind the door was a wall full of awards and ribbons. All of them were for dirt biking, or dog showing. I smiled at them, and continued looking. There was a TV mounted on the wall, and beneath it were about four or five game systems, all situated on a cheap plywood dresser. Also on top of the dresser was a set of shelves with controllers, chords, and games.

"What kind of games do you have?" I asked, looking at him over my shoulder. He looked up at me in surprise.

"Huh?"

"You heard me. If I'm hanging out here I don't want to be bored. What kind of games do you have?" I repeated, smiling warmly at him. He jumped to his feet and began digging through the stacks of Cds on the shelf.

"Well, Oli and Noah have the Xbox 360. Wanna go harass them into sharing?" he asked. I nodded.

"I'm always up for harassing Noah." Sasha rolled his eyes.

"Apparently everyone is," he laughed. He started out the door, and I stayed rooted to my spot. He looked at me. "Coming or not?" I put my arms up, and made grabbing motions at him with my hands.

"Carry me," I demanded in a childish voice. If he were Hunter, he would've thrown a piss fit, and finally given in after a second. But he was Sasha, and Sasha walked over, and picked me up bridal style, carrying me to the door. Then he dumped me unceremoniously on my ass.

To make him feel bad I started moaning, and grabbing my butt bone. It worked, resulting in him falling to his knees on the floor. "Oh my god, oh my god, are you okay?" he babbled. "Did I break your butt?" he asked frantically. I laughed, and rolled onto my back. To make a bigger point of it I pointed at him and cackled.

"Okay, now you're just being mean," Sasha grunted, crossing his arms. He looked down, and noticed he was still wearing the Wendy's polo. He growled, and walked back into his room to get a new shirt. I stayed on the floor, being lazy old me.

"Goldie?"

I looked up at the voice, and saw Noah standing over me. He didn't have any glasses on, and he was dressed in a pair of sweat pants and a dark green shirt that had a gaping hole near the bottom hem. I smiled up at him and his bed-head. He looked similarly to how Sasha looked this morning.

"Hey Noah. Gonna get me coffee?" I asked. He narrowed his eyes, and sighed. He sighed just like Sasha. It sounded more like a snort than a sigh it was forced out so quickly.

"Need help up?" the other boy from earlier asked. I moved my head around and saw him crouching down in front of me. My face was way too close to his junk.

"Uh, yeah," I said. He grabbed me under the pits and hoisted me up to my feet. I turned back and looked at him. His features were more harsh than Sasha's and Noah's, and his skin was more tanned.

"Uhm, Oli?" I asked. He nodded.

"Oliver at your service," he said, giving a deep bow. He looked at me through his hair, still bent. "And no, I'm not gay, I'm just dramatic," he said.

"I never said you were..." I ventured. He nodded, and popped up.

"I know, I was just warning you."

Sasha walked out of his room in a wife beater. His arms, especially near his shoulders, were covered in light brown freckles. That made me smile.

"Come on. I'm bored, and I've been aching for some Halo," he moaned, pointing at the bedroom where a bunk bed was situated with an air mattress on the floor. We all walked in, settling in comfortable places. I ended up on the air mattress, and Noah sat beside me. Sasha and Oli sat on the floor, smashing the crap out of the controllers trying to kill each other on the game.

It got bad enough that they started trying to kill each other with said controllers.

I watched them and laughed. Noah went to sleep on my thighs. He was a cutie, that was for sure.

The day continued on like that. When things had calmed down, Oli went for the bunk bed and crapped out on the bottom bunk, asleep. Noah stirred, and entered his own bunk, covering himself up. Sasha began playing Final Fantasy -- which edition I don't know.

"How'd your car get back?" I asked randomly, remembering his white Camaro in the driveway. He shrugged, and made the blond guy with spiky hair run down a street, slashing things in half. Tidus, I think.

"Noah drove it home. I take him to work now. He has a license." He cut someone in half. I sighed, not listening anymore. He got quiet too. I rolled off the bed, and onto the floor, next to him. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"So what's going on?" I asked him. He started talking, but I didn't hear it. I was already asleep. I felt a pair of arms situate me on the floor, and then I felt a warm body slid behind me, and arm slung around my waist. I knew he was holding me. I found his hand, and held it.



I opened my eyes. I was being shaken awake. Marlianna stood above me, smiling quietly. "Hey honey, it's six o'clock, do you need to be getting home?" I yawned, and sat up.

"Yeah, I guess." I turned over and found Sasha rolled up on the air mattress, hidden under a large green blanket. I guess I imagined him holding me. I stood up, and looked at Marlianna while she pulled a gray blanket up over Noah, and shoved Oli's foot back under his horse blanket.

"Uh, thanks for letting me stay over as long as I did."

She shook her head. "It's no problem. Sasha doesn't get many friends. Much less have them come over. You're welcome any time." Her smile was unwavering. I smiled back, and made my way out the door. "He really likes you, Goldie," she called after me.

I bit my lip. "I know," I called back.

Good lord did I know.