My Paper Heart

Just as I had guessed, Sarah Jane and Sheridan were on my case the second I got in the door. I ignored them and basically told them to shove it while I unlaced my Chucks. They then got on me about how I deserved everything I got and everything that had happened to me. They also pounded it in about how crappy I looked.

I just slumped into my room, and dropped onto my bed, curling into my blankets even though it was about ninety degrees. Then I cried some more.

Dad got home about an hour later, having worked late. He opened the door and heard me crying. Then he left. I'm sure he went to get drunk.

I had fallen asleep for an hour when Sarah Jane pulled my hair, rudely awakening me. "Dinner's ready," she pointed out.

I gave her a death glare through my slit eyes, half of my face under the covers. "And I care why?"

"I don't know. All I know is that you better be out there or Dad's gonna have a BF. That and the fact I cooked, so get your emo ass out of bed, you pathetic excuse for a human," she barked, kicking my box spring. I contemplated throwing a book at the bony snot, but that was decided for me when she exited my room, slamming the door behind her. I sighed and stood up. I felt sick and the knot was still in my stomach.

I wouldn't be hungry tonight or tomorrow night, for that matter. I became resigned to the idea of getting changed and forcing some food down my throat to appease the jerks.

I stripped out of my Wendy's uniform, and changed into a baggy t-shirt and a pair of cut-off sweat pants. I also washed my face some because I didn't want to see like a complete train wreck, and because my face felt sticky yet dry.

I put my razr on my dresser, turned off my light, and exited my room, closing the door behind m. The carpet was soft under my feet, and I hoped that in the hour I had been asleep that Dad hadn't gotten drunk. I don't know why I was hoping, I already knew he was going to be blasted.

I pulled my hair into a low ponytail behind my head.

Dad sat on the table, Sarah Jane sat on the couch, and Sheridan had himself set up on the floor. All of them had bowls of tuna salad in front of them or on their laps.

I served myself a small amount of it into a bowl, and took my seat on the couch well away from Sarah Jane.

I quietly nibbled at my food, looking at the TV, whereon a demolition derby raged. I felt someone staring at me, and turned my head at Sarah Jane, who was giving me this nasty look.

"What?" I asked tiredly.

"Oh, nothing. It just seems like your girlfriend broke up with you," she said whimsically, as if that was perfectly acceptable. I grunted and stood up with my full bowl. I didn't want to handle this shit today.

I walked to the sink, and dropped my bowl into the murky dish water, making a wave splash up onto the counter. I turned around and left it. She'd have to clean it up, not me.

I walked back to my room, and closed and locked the door behind me. They wouldn't bother me for the rest of the night.

I looked at the stacks of unread books piled on my nightstand, but I knew I wasn't in the mood to read, so I flicked on the TV and watched Mythbusters.

After about an hour or so of watching Jamie and Adam blow stuff up, I turned off the TV and determined that I was going to call in sick the next day to work. Unlike Darcie I didn't use up all my sick days, so I had a few left.

I had nearly twenty minutes of un-interrupted silence when my phone began ringing.

"I am not answering that," I growled, more to force myself not to answer it than anything. It continued ringing with its stock ring tone -- I never downloaded any. Finally I vaulted out of bed and answered it.

"Hullo?" I asked. My voice was phlegmy, and I found that disgusting.

"Goldie?" the voice was Sasha's. I was sort of concerned about how he had gotten my number, but I let that slip my mind.

"No shit?" I answered nastily back. I just felt like being horrible to everyone I knew. After the words left my mouth I immediately felt bad about it, because Sasha's tone changed and he sounded a little hurt.

"Oh, sorry. Uh, I just called to check up on you. Nick let me borrow his phone. I was worried about you when you stormed out of work today..." His voice trailed off. My heart hurt knowing that someone would seriously call me up to make sure I was okay.

I quickly checked my phone's screen. Sure enough it said "Nick."

I walked to my bed, and got hunkered in my covers. I turned the TV back on, but I muted it.

"Sorry," I muttered into the phone. He laughed a little bit.

"It's no problem. What happened anyway?"

I breathed in. "Darcie and I got into a fight."

"Aw man, that blows. What about?"

"...That I'm going out with my ex." The other end of the line got quiet. It was awkward, sitting there. I listened to him breathe, trying to compensate for his lack of conversation.

"Uh, I don't mean to sound rude, but why are you going out with your ex-boyfriend?" he asked after a minute. I silently exhaled.

"Well, I like him, and he's hot, and the sex is amazing," I said, laughing. I could just feel him rolling his eyes at me.

I heard Nick shouting something at him in the background. In a faint voice I heard him screaming at Nick something about shutting up and fucking off. Nick must've said something perverted, but I couldn't hear it.

"Oh, sorry, aha. Nick was being a turd. And nice reasoning. But seriously, why would you go out with him again?" he pressed. I licked my lips and looked at the TV. Some model chick was dancing on the screen in her panties and a lacey bra while a bare-chested guy in jeans ran after her. Then flower petals started falling from the sky. It was odd to say the least.

"Goldie?" Sasha's voice interrupted my watching the commercial.

"Crap, sorry, I zoned out."

"It's okay. You gonna answer me?" he asked. I decided to tell him the truth.

"I feel comfortable around him, and we know everything about each other. It's just kind of smarter than starting over with someone new. I don't even really remember why we broke up," I answered.

"Mm, interesting reasoning -- NICK, STOP IT YOU BITCH, GET OFF--" Sasha's voice was cut off.

""GOLDIE-POO!" Nick screeched into the speaker. I cringed.

"I'm right here, Nick," I snarled.

"Oh, good. You need to make up with Darcie. I don't like it when you two fight. It's like watching Paris Hilton and Nicole Ricci fight," he said. My face fell.

"You're drunk, aren't you?"

"Heehee, I surely am," he answered gleefully.

"Put Sasha back on the phone," I deadpanned.

"Okidoke! SAAAASHAAAA!" he screamed in the opposite direction. I cringed once more. I should've just turned my phone off when I got home, but no, I kept it on. I'm an idiot, a flaming idiot.

"Sorry, he stole the phone. He's a tricky little bastard," Sasha groaned. I laughed a little.

"Hah, he can be. Uhm, okay. You'll need his address. He can barely remember it when he's sober."

"Okay." I gave him the directions to Nick's house, and hung up abruptly. I didn't feel like talking anymore, and talking to Sasha made my stomach wishy-washy.

I turned my phone off, and once more rolled over in bed. From what I could guess it was about midnight, or somewhere in that region. I sighed, and forced myself into sleep.

***

I woke up, and stretched, yawning loud and clear. I smiled, feeling better already. I opened my eyes, and looked around my room, trying to figure out what time it was. I then noticed there was no TV, horse posters plastered my walls like wallpaper, and the floor was obsessively neat. My heart started beating.

"Someone ruined my room," I whispered, horrified. I jumped out of my bed, and ran out the door, screaming and shouting.

"Goldie! What is wrong with you?" Dad snapped, looking at me. Something else was really wrong. He seemed moderately happy, and his hair was short and clean. Then my world exploded. Mom walked out of the kitchen.

"Honey, what's wrong?" she asked. I then fell over. "Goldie!" she shouted worriedly.

I opened my eyes and I was getting off the school bus. Something was very wrong.

I decided to do what I usually did my freshman year, and that was to wait for Darcie and Nick next to the front entrance. I looked in a puddle and covered my mouth to not let an scream escape. I had short blue hair.

My knobby knees knocked together. I was back in freshman year, for crap's sake!

A stretch pulled up, and Darcie got out of the car. She stood on the curb in a black silk dress with a big fluffy white feather boa, and her blond hair was pulled tight behind her head. Big black sunglasses covered her face. Okay, this wasn't making sense, she usually showed up to school with Nate or Cheddar in a crappy Gremlin.

"Goldie, darling!" she bawled, running up to me, her stilettos clacking on the concrete.

"Uh, hey Darce," I said uneasily. She broke apart and walked into the building, a small crowd of paparazzi following her. This was sincerely screwed.

"Hi Goldie," Nick said. I turned around and Nick walked out of a tree, dressed up like Peter Pan. His black hair was in all different angles from his head, and he smiled wide, revealing his chunky metal braces.

A tall goth kid brushed passed us, smacking Nick in the head. He was dressed like a vampire, all in leather, and he was very, very pale. "Nick, you loser," he sighed. He even had fangs!

"Giovanni, stop being mean to me!" Nick whined in his still girly voice.

"Giovanni?!" I gasped. He turned to me and raised a brow. Giovanni was Nick's older brother. If this was high school, he'd be in senior year. But in real life he had gone to juvey for car jacking when he was in sophomore year. And he was fat.

"I'm hallucinating, that's it. Hallucinating--"

"Get to class," barked a hall monitor that was a centaur. Yes, hallucinating. I feel better now.

"Yes sir," I said.

"I'm a girl."

Crap.

Giovanni disappeared in a puff of smoke, and that left me and Nick to walk into school. We did, and we went to first period, gym.

I got dressed in my uniform, and went into the main part of the gym. Nick waved me over, and I ran to them. Darcie looked normal, her too-long blond hair pulled into pigtails on the side of her head, and her half inch of purple eye liner smeared around her eyes.

I sat next to them, and rested my head on Darcie's shoulder.

Then the junior basketball team ran onto the court. All of them were in tiny, white togas that only covered their bottoms halves. Girls started fainting as the started running around and practicing. Yet magically their togas didn't fly up to present anything inappropriate.

Hunter turned around, and smirked at me. He blew me a kiss, and started posing, flexing his muscles, and being hot all around. I nearly started drooling.

Then the scene changed again. This time I was watching it like a movie. I sat on Darcie's bed, hugging her as she sobbed uncontrollably in my arms.

I crouched down and listened to what was going on, even though I knew very well what was happening.

Between hiccupping sobs, she wailed, "I haven't even told my mom, Goldie! I'm so scared. How's my dad going to act if he finds out that I'm knocked up?!"

I just sat and hugged her. "It'll be okay," I reassured. She sat up quickly, and grabbed my hands.

"Goldie, you can't tell anyone, okay? I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it. I don't want anyone finding out until I know what I'm going to do. Okay?" she pressed. I felt my chest tighten. I knew my fourteen-year-old self felt hers tighten too. This was big. But in the end I nodded.

"I won't tell," I said. I stood up, and turned around to walk out the door.

Cheddar stood behind me in a Grim Reaper outfit, eating a cheeseburger. "What the crap?" I asked incredulously.

"I'm kind of like the ghost of Christmas past, ya know?" he said between bites. I frowned.

"Shut up, just. Shut. Up." I put my hands in the air. My still blue hair fell into my face. I guess I still looked fourteen.

"Might wanna watch out behind you," he warned, pointing behind me with a greasy finger.

"Huh?"

"BOO!" I flipped around to see a skinny, squeaky redhead in front of me, with a much too aggressive look on his face. I squealed, and fell down on my butt. All of this was occurring in Darcie's doorway while Darcie and other-me were talking about her baby.

Sasha was extremely scrawny, and he had clothes with holes on them, cracked, smudgy glasses, and jeans that weren't long enough for his legs, showing off his ankles. He also had a mullet and a huge, long nose, which terrified me a little bit.

"Sasha?" I asked.

"Do you have have facewash?!" he squealed.

***

My eyes tore open so fast I thought they'd rip. That was possibly the most disturbing dream I'd ever, ever, had.

I quickly called up work and told them I was sick. They didn't seem to care.

The rest of the time I laid in bed, alternating between sleeping and staring at the ceiling. I couldn't find the remote, so I didn't even bother with the TV.

The phone rang, and I decided to answer it, seeing as how I'd left it on again. I'd need to charge the batteries soon though.

"Hullo?" I said, not bothering to read the caller ID.

"I'm sorry," Darcie said immediately. I sat up in bed, and swung my feet over the side. I breathed deep, and sighed.

"Me too."