Messing With My Head

“This is the kind of food I like.” I say, as a wide grin spreads across my face. When Dani had asked me what I wanted to eat, I simply replied with ‘something I can bury my face in’. She thought it was a dumb description until we ran into a Burger King. Places like these are heaven to me… curly fries, onion rings, huge soda’s and gigantic burgers – what is there more to life? Really? Food is all I need, that’s why I never bothered getting a new boyfriend… because I have food and of course because I still want Louis but that’s just a detail.

I open my mouth as wide as I can before biting down on the burger, taking the biggest bite my mouth allows. “This is so good.” I mumble with a mouth full of food, making Dani roll her eyes at me.

“You’re such a lady, really.” In reply I just smile at her brightly, showing all the food stuck in my teeth making her laugh loudly – and cough out a few pieces of the fries she had in her mouth. “We’re true ladies.” She nods while picking up the pieces she spit out.

“I’m honestly still hungry. Maybe we should just go to Sainbury’s and make a salad.”

Dani nods in excitement. “Yes! And we should fill it ‘till we have problems closing it! God, I love cheap food!” I laugh and nod in agreement, thinking to myself that every person fills their little plastic bowls to the max. That’s what you get for letting people fill their own salads, people are greedy.
A smile creeps up on both of our faces as we fill our bowl with all sorts of pasta mixtures and salads.

“We should get some candy too. God, I wanna eat forever. I wanna eat until I die.”

Dani coughs, trying to cover up her laughter. “Technically, you will be doing that Bailey. But thanks for sharing your amazing knowledge with me and everyone else who’s eavesdropping!”

“So you’ve never watched Game Of Thrones?” Dani just shakes her head, making me gasp. “What is your life? Honestly, what do you do when you’re not with me? Watch chick flicks and… have your head stuck in the sand? Away from anything that could be considered absolutely awesome and legendary?”

She snorts at my rant and shakes her head. “Sorry Bails, unlike you, I spend my days doing actual girl stuff. I never act like this, unless I’m around you. You’re turning me into as much of a tom boy as you are.”

I roll my eyes, starting up my Alienware laptop. “I’m not as much of a tom boy as you think I am. I dress like a girl, I watch chick flicks, I watch ‘2 Broke Girls’ and other stuff. I play The Sims as well but I just prefer Skyrim.”

She shoots me a confused look before grabbing her buzzing phone from my nightstand. “Well miss, I just got a text from Lou. I was hoping that would shut your nerdy rants up.” I roll my eyes, concentrating on my laptop. “The dwarf is pretty legendary, I must admit that much.” She giggles pointing at the screen.

“That’s probably the only thing you noticed since you’ve been busy texting the whole damn time.”

She mimics my word in a high pitched voice. “Don’t complain. I’m arranging our Harry Potter marathon with Lou.” My mouth immediately drops, somehow I don’t recall agreeing to spending more than 24 hours watching movies with my ex-boyfriend. “And since you basically have a cinema in your house, I’m sure you won’t mind having us all come here? And with us all… I mean Louis, his curly haired bandmate and… his girlfriend.” Again, she blurts out the last part. She somehow thinks that by now I still don’t know that when she blurts something out it’s something bad, giving me even more reason to listen to what she says.

“You can’t just… invite his girlfriend into my house?! I have nothing against her, but my heart does! That’s disrespectful! I don’t want that!” I complain, trying to hold back any stronger emotions. It’s bad enough that I can feel my stomach drop whenever his name is mentioned… the thought of spending the day with him was bad enough… the thought of spending more than 24 hours watching movies –giving him and his girlfriend a chance to be all lovey-dovey with each other- absolutely tears me apart.

Pulling up my pajama pants, I crawl into bed – checking my phone quickly. To my surprise it shows that I have one unread text, opening up my inbox my heart drops when I notice Louis’ name.

‘Hey x’ is all it says, but it’s enough to make my heart ache to the point where it feels as if it’s bleeding.

‘Hi?’ Is the only thing I can actually think of replying. I can’t believe that half a minute ago I was tired as hell, ready to close my eyes and now I can’t lay still due to anticipation and just nerves running through my veins. Damn, why does he keep doing this to me…

‘It’s me, Louis.’ I roll my eyes at him, wanting to throw my phone away but my fingers take control instead. I don’t mind, as long as I don’t pour my heart out to him.

‘Okay?’, I’m a master at short and awkward text messages.

‘Tomlinson… Sorry, I still had your number and I’ve been texting Dani all day. She told me we’re having a Harry Potter marathon at your house. Just wanted to make sure that we’re okay now? I don’t wanna fight anymore.’

Tears burn in my eyes, remembering the last time we talked. Clearly he remembers those events differently, with a bit of a bitter attitude I type my reply. ‘There was never a fight Louis, I still had your number by the way. I’m going to bed.’, if he still knows me the way he did one year ago – he should know that he ticked me off by assuming we were fighting.

We weren’t fighting, we haven’t been fighting. He stopped talking to me even though I attempted quite a few times to talk to him. He had lost all interest in me, I was foolish… and he was just a liar, it seems.