Sequel: Thinking of Winter ›
Crowded Room
Chapter Thirty-Seven: Jace
"Selfish?" I said, my voice quiet. "I couldn't take it, Jarrek! He wasn't who I fell in love with!" Jarrek pushed me hard against the wall.
"He lost his fucking father! Of course he's gonna be acting different! You were all he had left!" he yelled, anger and sadness burning through his eyes. "All you fucking cared about was yourself! When he needed a shoulder, you brushed him off and walked away, as if it were nothing!"
"I didn't have anyone when I lost my family!" I replied, pushing him away. "Not a soul!"
"Bullshit!" he yelled, glaring at me. "You had me! You had Paulie! You had so many people, and we helped you out as best we could!"
"You hid my only living relative leading me to believe he was dead!"
"Not by choice!"
"Fuck you, Jarrek!" I spat, grabbing my bag and walking out of the door. I ran down the stairs of the apartment complex, too impatient to wait for the elevator.
Once my foot hit the concrete of the sidewalk, I choked a sob and made my way towards New Jersey. Apparently I couldn't have anything good in New York, so I'm starting over in Jersey. As I made my way towards the subway station, my pace seemed to slow down a bit.
For some reason, I had a song I never thought I'd ever remember going through my head, and it fit so perfectly. Whispering, I sang, "The misery I know ... like a friend that won't let go, is creeping up on me now once again."
Turning the corner, I looked up at the night sky, snow slowly falling down around me. "So I sing this song tonight, to the ghost that will not die, and somehow seems to haunt me till the end."
I felt my heart break as I walked down the steps for the subway. My eyes watered and my voice broke. "Do you feel the same for what once remained. Yesterday is gone, we can't go back again.
Do you ever cry for the ghost of days gone by."
At the bottom of the steps, I collapsed to my knees and sobbed. Who am I? Where am I going? Why does everything hurt? Will I ever be able to come home? Will I ever see his face again?
"He lost his fucking father! Of course he's gonna be acting different! You were all he had left!" he yelled, anger and sadness burning through his eyes. "All you fucking cared about was yourself! When he needed a shoulder, you brushed him off and walked away, as if it were nothing!"
"I didn't have anyone when I lost my family!" I replied, pushing him away. "Not a soul!"
"Bullshit!" he yelled, glaring at me. "You had me! You had Paulie! You had so many people, and we helped you out as best we could!"
"You hid my only living relative leading me to believe he was dead!"
"Not by choice!"
"Fuck you, Jarrek!" I spat, grabbing my bag and walking out of the door. I ran down the stairs of the apartment complex, too impatient to wait for the elevator.
Once my foot hit the concrete of the sidewalk, I choked a sob and made my way towards New Jersey. Apparently I couldn't have anything good in New York, so I'm starting over in Jersey. As I made my way towards the subway station, my pace seemed to slow down a bit.
For some reason, I had a song I never thought I'd ever remember going through my head, and it fit so perfectly. Whispering, I sang, "The misery I know ... like a friend that won't let go, is creeping up on me now once again."
Turning the corner, I looked up at the night sky, snow slowly falling down around me. "So I sing this song tonight, to the ghost that will not die, and somehow seems to haunt me till the end."
I felt my heart break as I walked down the steps for the subway. My eyes watered and my voice broke. "Do you feel the same for what once remained. Yesterday is gone, we can't go back again.
Do you ever cry for the ghost of days gone by."
At the bottom of the steps, I collapsed to my knees and sobbed. Who am I? Where am I going? Why does everything hurt? Will I ever be able to come home? Will I ever see his face again?