Who Knew Then? (What We Know Now?)

“So… how was the appointment? Everything all right?” Marc bombarded me with questions as soon as I was in the door.

“Yes Marc, Izzy and I are both just fine,” I chuckled, taking off my shoes and gently stretching. Derek was hovering in the hallway, until I reached for his hand and pulled him inside.

“Derek? What’re you…?” Marc looked confused, and when Lindsay joined us her eyes lit up.

“Oh, you must’ve taken Kassy to her appointment! Thanks so much Derek,” she gushed, and immediately invited him in. I rolled my eyes at the two Staals, which put Derek slightly at ease as he shed his coat and followed me inside.

“Oh good God Izzy – give mom’s ribs a break,” I complained at my stomach as I tried to stretch and make myself comfortable.

“Come on Izzy, behave,” Derek told my stomach, and moments later the pressure let up. I stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds, unsure as to whether or not I should believe that Izzy had quit kicking my ribs because Derek was speaking.

“Dear God, where have you been all this time!” I leaned against Derek, who seemed surprised. “Izzy never listens to me when I say that.”

“Aww, Izzy do you like Derek?” Marc asked, and I could feel shifting, but no kicking or anything.

“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean,” I admitted, making everybody laugh. We sat visiting for a while, until I began yawning. My stomach hadn’t quite agreed with what we’d eaten for lunch, and Izzy was protesting too.

“Does rubbing your belly help?” Lindsay asked, and I just shrugged.

“I don’t know,”

Derek reached out a hand and softly placed it on my stomach, before rubbing small circles. It wasn’t doing anything for my digestion, but Izzy gave a kick, and he froze. It took a moment for the rest of us to realize that Derek wasn't acting like his normal self, and finally Marc spoke up.

“Are you okay?” Marc asked him, and he stuttered a bit.

“Uh… Izzy kicked me,” he answered, looking up to Marc in shock. Both Staals had an expression I wasn’t sure about, and they looked to each other.

“Parker used to do that to Eric,” Marc quietly told him, and Derek looked to me, his face turning pink, much the same way I figured mine was.

“O-oh, wow,” was all he could say, and I nodded. I leaned into him, and he wrapped his other arm around my shoulders, leaving one hand on my stomach. I was glad it didn’t bother me – I guess he was in the ranks of Tanya, Lindsay, Eric and Marc where belly touching was concerned, because I didn’t feel awkward with his hand on my giant stomach.

We all continued talking for about a half an hour, Marc and Derek soon getting onto the topic of hockey, and while I had no qualms with keeping up to their conversation, I was ready for a nap. The fact that Derek was nice and warm, and that I felt abnormally safe and comfortable with his arms around me was doing nothing to help that.

“Well, I better get going – talk to you guys soon,” Derek said, and I sat up properly so he could get up off of the couch.

“Yeah, talk to you soon,” I agreed, and he pulled me in for a soft hug.

“And thanks for the picture – tell Izzy I’ll score a goal just because of it,” he teased, and I gave his shoulder a soft shove before he said goodbye to Marc and Lindsay. Once he was out the door I knew what was coming, and attempted to cut off the two like-minded Staals, but they were faster than I was.

“He’s so cute with you!” Lindsay gushed, and Marc’s grin went from ear to ear.

“You sure picked a winner there – even Izzy thinks so,” he agreed, and I groaned.

“Guys, Derek and I aren’t together,” I insisted, but they didn’t seem to believe me.

“Come on, you let him touch your belly!” Marc argued.

“Because Lindsay thought it would help my stomach,”

“And he went with you to your appointment!”

“Because he wouldn’t let me take a taxi. Just please, drop it? We aren’t together, or dating, or whatever. We’re just friends,” I insisted, and they looked a little disappointed.

“He’d be really good for you, for both of you,” Lindsay shrugged, and I sighed. The guilt about that was already there, because Derek seemed to be more than willing to take care of me and my baby, regardless of whether or not I was interested in him in that way.

“I know. And to be honest, I really wish I had feelings for him like that, because I know how wonderful of a guy he is,” I told them, and both looked surprised. I'd always kind of pushed it off as a joke before, but I really wish I did have feelings for the adorable forward.

“Really?” Marc sounded confused, which made me chuckle a little bit.

“Yeah. I mean, he’s the perfect guy – how many single guys our age wouldn’t be scared shitless of having feelings for a girl with a baby? But I don’t know why I just don’t have those kinds of feelings for him,” I grumbled, and Lindsay wrapped her arms around me for a quick hug.

“Did you consider trying it?” she asked, and I shrugged.

“I can’t lead him on Linds, he means too much to me,”

“D’you think you could learn to love him?” Marc asked, catching me off guard.

“I know it sounds crazy, but I mean, you two obviously mean a lot to each other, and you know he’d take good care of you and Izzy… maybe over time you’d love him the same way,” he shrugged, and my mind seemed stuck on that idea. How did you learn to love someone?

“I don’t know Marc. I just don’t see how you could learn to love somebody; to me it’s kind of a you do or you don’t thing,” I explained, and he nodded.

“I know, it’s just an idea Kassy,” he gently told me, and pulled me in for a hug. That was an idea I maybe needed to think on, because I had no idea why I didn’t love Derek, especially when I knew all of the qualities about him I loved, and he was attractive, thoughtful, funny, smart… so why wasn’t it all adding up inside me?