Status: Coming Soon!!

Who Knew Then? (What We Know Now?)

Let's Do This One More Time

I heard the front door slam, and immediately knew that things weren’t going as good as we’d hoped. When Jared was traded to the Hurricanes he’d been upset at first, but then I’d helped him see it for what it was. It was the opportunity to play on the same team as Eric, and he’d latched onto that and began working and going on with his life again. Not making the team that year had been fairly easy to console him; it was a big change, he was learning a new system, so it made sense for him to be in Charlotte instead of Raleigh. The two years after hadn’t been so easy, but after a lot of insisting and comforting he’d finally come to terms with it, and had worked his ass off in the hopes of making it this year. He’d been positive and excited the past few days as we’d packed and got ready to fly back down to Charlotte from Thunder Bay.

But now I figured the first day of training camp hadn’t gone so well either.

“Jared?” I called out, and heard a muffled grunt in response. It sounded like it was coming from the bedroom of the apartment, and so I put down my book to go and see how he was.

I opened the door to see Jared sprawled face down on the mattress. With a sigh I sat down beside him and began to rub his back. I understood that it was tough; all of his brothers had been drafted in the first round, and I’d been there as he sat in anticipation as the first round of the draft had passed by, and saw the look of devastation on his face as the last pick of the first round was made and he was still sitting there. That night he’d been nearly inconsolable, and I’d been surprised when his parents and my dad let me stay in his hotel room to try and help him feel better.

“Camp went…” I trailed off when he turned his head to give me a blank stare. I should’ve known better than to ask.

“Jare, honey it’s the first day – don’t get too worked up,” I sighed, continuing to rub his back. He groaned and reached up to take one of my hands in his.

“You have no idea babe,” he replied. I’d always been able to take his mind off of it in the past, and there’d been three seasons already where he’d faced the sting of rejection from the NHL. I knew it was all he’d ever wanted, and the fact that he wasn’t living up to the ‘standard’ he felt all of his brothers had killed him.

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think,” I assured him, laying down on his back, my hand still in his as I nuzzled his neck, getting a chuckle out of him.

“Well you should come tomorrow and see then,” he chuckled. He finally turned his face and pressed a kiss to my lips. I kissed him back, and rolled onto the mattress beside him. He smiled and wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling into my neck.

This was more of the Jared I knew, but the beginning of hockey season always seemed to send him to extremes. He could go from this to nearly in tears, to tense and silent, to angry and sometimes violent. Never at anybody, but sometimes he’d haul out the punching bag and spend hours just swinging at it. Usually he’d mutter and grumble to himself, and when he got to the point where he was exhausted he got emotional, and that’s when I usually found out what particular part of what was going on was hurting him. And more than anything it was the thought that he was disappointing his family.

“If you get me in I will; I don’t have class tomorrow and I don’t start work until next Monday,” I replied, and he chuckled again before kissing my neck.

“Deal.”

The rest of the evening went the way it normally did at the beginning of the season. Some light unpacking, we ordered in dinner, and then spent the rest of the evening curled up on the couch together, the TV quietly playing even though neither of us was watching it. I turned to ask Jared a question and found him snoring lightly, looking exhausted and years older than he had two weeks ago. I hated seeing him like this; he got so worked up and emotional over the start of the season, each time hoping this was it; that this was his break, his chance, and that all of his hard work was going to pay off. And each time I had to watch his heart break as he heard he wasn’t going to be in the NHL yet.

Tomorrow we were both going to Raleigh and staying with Eric and Tanya for the remainder of training camp. Jared was too worried about even looking for a place in Raleigh yet, and so we’d been moving stuff we’d taken home to Thunder Bay with us back to the apartment in Charlotte.
Just L
I slowly pulled myself from Jared’s grip and got up, making the bed, setting up Jared’s nightstand and putting some of his things in the closet, trying to make things more familiar for him. Then I went back to the living room and woke him up enough to get to bed, and he was back to sleep before his head hit the pillow. I pulled the covers up around him, before changing into my pajamas and crawling in beside him. With a soft sound in his throat he wrapped his arms around me, and soon afterward I fell asleep.
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First one! :) And I'm going to attempt to put names for chapters, so we'll see how that goes! (If they get really lame take pity on me - it's hopefully better than just using numbers!)

Let me know what you think!