The "I" In Lie

I went grocery shopping after I returned home. I had saw my fridge bare, and decided to go out and make the most of my time alone. My time spent in the grocery store was nice; it was me, alone, in my head without heaviness or over thinking.

I bought some things, a lot of junk food that I liked, when I got to the frozen food isle. I hummed a song to myself, my mind was just empty of nothing but food and what to buy. I was throttled from my empty world when I saw Michelle. 

She was giggling loudly on her phone, I frowned to myself; one for her jolting me from my dream food world and two, she wasn't with Pete.

The thought of Pete brought up a bunch of other shit. I sighed, trying to force my dream world back. Yet, again, Michelle said something loudly to whomever was on the phone and caught eyes with me. I quickly put up a fake smile and grabbed oven baked pizzas. God, I thought I was free, but then she tapped my shoulder.

I never spoke to Michelle face to face before. She's ordered drinks from me, but that's it. No extended words; "Margarita and Long Island please, thanks."

She smiles at me and tosses her silky hair back. She makes me so self-conscious.

"Hey, you work at Angels and Kings, don't you?" She has a big, big pearly white smile.

I nod, "Yeah, I'm the bartender."

"I knew I knew you!" She giggles, "I'm Pete's wife." She says it like its a big honor.

Holy Goddess Michelle Kane is married to the Wonderful Pete Wentz.

"Oh," I look down a moment, "I dot really... Ever see Pete. Joe is the one who hired me."

Michelle's smile is so wide and sweet. I think she's giving me diabetes.

"Yeah, Pete's busy with me. We're going to have a baby."

I think I heard my heart break. I tried not to look sad.

"That's nice, congratulations." I gave her a fake smile, "You are very lucky."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry to seem so rude, but I have to go... It was nice seeing you." I had to get away from her, my voice was tightening.

Her smile faltered, "Oh, but I never caught your name."

I stopped myself from running away, "I'm Aly... Aly Jacobs."

Michelle's brows furrowed a moment, "Aly?"

"Yeah." I answered.

"Uh, you've called Pete before?"

I shook my head, really lying to this woman, "Once, because Joe told me to. It was about some problem with the register."

She eyed me still, looking me up and down. Had she known that he was cheating? Had she seen the outgoing calls to me? 

She blinked, then stepped back, "Oh... Well, sorry. Your name sounded familiar."

"It's fine, Aly is a common name in these parts." I laughed it off.

"I should let you go. Again it was nice seeing you." She patted my arm, turned and walked away.

I stared as she walked away. I had a feeling that she knew. She knew and this was gonna be the end of it. Pete wasn't going to see me again.


I was crying in the closet in my bedroom. My walk-in closet was one I had dreamt about since I was a little girl. It had all the clothes that I loved and could afford. It now housed it's sobbing and sadden owner. I couldn't stop my tears.

I knew it was pathetic, me sobbing with Pete's Guns and Roses t-shirt up to my face. My tears were soaking it and I couldn't force myself to stop. I didn't want to, I couldn't.

I was crying for two reasons: One that Michelle is pregnant and two she may've found us out. I had a feeling it was over between us. Pete was mine no more and it hurt.

My sobs were muffled through the shirt he had given me, they were loud to me. I was deafened by them, I didn't hear my door open. I didn't hear foot steps and I sure as hell didn't hear my name being called.

I felt hands grab my forearms causing my sobs to stop. I looked up, dropping the t-shirt, and was met with Pete's eyes. My heart was ready to burst, he looked at me with a confused glare; as if he were angry, "What's going on?" He asked sternly.

I shook my head, willing myself to cry once more. I kept shaking my head, squeezing my eyes shut as tears poured from my eyes. Pete held me up, he picked me up, cradling me like a baby. He carried me away, taking me to my bathroom. He turned in the light and sat me in the counter; still my eyes were shut.

"Alyssa," He said my name softly.

My full name. It made me cry harder. It was foolish, but it made me feel happy.

"Alyssa, stop crying," He spoke into my ear, "Please stop crying."

I forced myself to stop sobbing, I sniffled and wiped my eyes. Pete put his hands on my forearms again, he stared at me still, his eyes searching my face. "Your face is all blotchy, but you look fine. Why are you crying?"

I swallowed thickly, "It's stupid." I answered.

He still looked at me, "Talk to me." He said this softly.

I shook my head, "I told you, it's stupid." I wiped some escaped tears.

Pete ran a hand through my hair, smiling, "Hey, if you don't wanna tell me, it's okay."

I sniffled again, "It's... It's really nothing."

I couldn't tell him. I didn't want to. I mean, why should he care that his mistress was upset over him impregnating his wife? It was none of my business. And if he found out that she knew, I didn't want to hear the inevitable break up speech.

I didn't want to lose Pete. It was going to break my heart. Maybe it would kill me; that's what it felt like.

"Are you sure?" He asked, his hand cupped my cheek.

"Yes." I answered softly.

Pete smiled, his hand moved down to my neck and then he leant forward and pressed his lips to mine. It was so soft and so wonderful; I can't explain really, words lack to describe such a kiss. His tongue slipped into my mouth, exploring deeply, his hand pulling me closer to him.

Suddenly my world felt better.