Status: hey guys leave me feedback?
New Life?
I can't carry on like this.
I cant do it any longer. I need my mom. I no she isnt going to save me this time. I have so many memeories running through my head. Its ripping me apart. When we moved dad brought me a pocket knife. Its still really sharp. it has never left its cover.I wait until it gets dark and I get everyone dinner and bathed with the water from the 6 tanks.
Its really dark outside with the street lights out. Everyone is tired and i get them changed for bed. Me and Ari, tuck in the kids and Nate lays down and falls asleep as soon as his head hits his pillow. The little ones fall asleep soon as i start reading them a book and Maylana was asleep about half an hour ago.Ari lays down but im not sure if she is just laying there or sleeping.
I walk to the back door and grab one of the lanterns by the back door. I start walking just past the tree line. I look back and dont see anyone but I can still see the house. I sit there for a good five minutes. just thinking. Crying. I reach into my bra and pull out the pocket knife my father gave me. I have never actually taken it out of the case since he gave it to me. Ingraved in it read ’ To my daughter Channy, You are amazing, this will help you in what ever you want to do and help you through any problem’.
it has screw drivers, Pliers, and abut 5 razor sharp knifes and a mini saw. I never though that these thoughts would return. I haven’t done it since we moved her about 2 months ago. I roll my sleeve up on my left arm. Its always my left because i am stronger with my right. i flip open the five different knifes. I look at them and study them for a good minute or so till I know which one I want. Its different here. I have to really go by feel.
I place the blade on my arm and press hard and drag it from left to right. I havent felt this pain in s long. I actually miss it. I cant really see how deep this cut is but i know its deep cause i know this feeling. Sort of a tingling numb sensation. Just as i go to cut from my elbow to my wrist someone grabs my hand. Its Ari. She can see the tears in my eyes. She new what i was doing, She brought a rag and wrapped it around my wrist. She got me on my feet and grabbed my lantern. Walked me back to the house and I sow myself up. She cant do it. But Ari wraps me up with a bandage to stop the bleeding. We sit on the lounge. She places her arms around me and holds me. I start crying and place my head on my shoulder. She just comforts me.
Its really dark outside with the street lights out. Everyone is tired and i get them changed for bed. Me and Ari, tuck in the kids and Nate lays down and falls asleep as soon as his head hits his pillow. The little ones fall asleep soon as i start reading them a book and Maylana was asleep about half an hour ago.Ari lays down but im not sure if she is just laying there or sleeping.
I walk to the back door and grab one of the lanterns by the back door. I start walking just past the tree line. I look back and dont see anyone but I can still see the house. I sit there for a good five minutes. just thinking. Crying. I reach into my bra and pull out the pocket knife my father gave me. I have never actually taken it out of the case since he gave it to me. Ingraved in it read ’ To my daughter Channy, You are amazing, this will help you in what ever you want to do and help you through any problem’.
it has screw drivers, Pliers, and abut 5 razor sharp knifes and a mini saw. I never though that these thoughts would return. I haven’t done it since we moved her about 2 months ago. I roll my sleeve up on my left arm. Its always my left because i am stronger with my right. i flip open the five different knifes. I look at them and study them for a good minute or so till I know which one I want. Its different here. I have to really go by feel.
I place the blade on my arm and press hard and drag it from left to right. I havent felt this pain in s long. I actually miss it. I cant really see how deep this cut is but i know its deep cause i know this feeling. Sort of a tingling numb sensation. Just as i go to cut from my elbow to my wrist someone grabs my hand. Its Ari. She can see the tears in my eyes. She new what i was doing, She brought a rag and wrapped it around my wrist. She got me on my feet and grabbed my lantern. Walked me back to the house and I sow myself up. She cant do it. But Ari wraps me up with a bandage to stop the bleeding. We sit on the lounge. She places her arms around me and holds me. I start crying and place my head on my shoulder. She just comforts me.