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New Life?
Did that really happen?
I fall asleep while Ari holds me in her arms. I cant believe I just did that.I cant believe I have gone back down the path that I promised my self that I wouldn’t. Before I realise it, its morning. Ari still has her arms around me. I was hoping it was just a dream. I am to scared to look at my arm. All I feel is a throbbing pain. I can’t bare to look down. Just hoping that its all part of my imagination.
Its really early and me and Ari are the only ones awake. She takes me in the kitchen and pull out the first aid kit. While she does that I manage to build up the courage to actually look at my arm.
“Ari, what happened to me!?!”
“Channy don’t you remember?” she said while unpacking the first aid kit.
” No, Ari Im scared. What happened to my arm. Please tell me.”
She grabs the bandages and the damp cloth. and a bag to put these in for washing. Slowly she starts unwrapping my arm. I cant hold it in, I burst into tears. The pain is excruciating. Its worse than its ever been when I have done it.
She Looks up at me once she has fully removed the bandage,
”Get the picture or do i need to explain?”
“I get it. Im sorry.”
“Don’t be, I new you were going to do it and I should have stopped you, but I didn’t. When I came to my senses it was to late. You were sitting against a tree covered in blood with the pocket knife your dad gave you. I helped you back to the house and got you fixed up. We sat on the lounge and I held you in my arms as you fell asleep.”
I look at her with tears running down my face cleaning up my arm. The pain I am feeling is indescribable. I new something in her opened up. She was different. Not the same girl I first met a couple years ago. I guess that she was used to me saying it but she never actually new that one day she would be the one cleaning me up after I have a breakdown.
“Channy, hold this here.” All I do is listen to her and hold the bandage at the top of my arm near my elbow. Gently she wraps it. Kinda like she has bandaged up someone before. I ask her
“Ari, have you ever wrapped someone up before cause it seems like this isnt your first time.?”
she looks at me blankly. Her eyes turn back down to my arm and wrapping it up.
” Yeah I have. You. Last night.”
I feel really bad. What have I done. Not only have i scared myself, I have scared the one person who means the world to me. She is my little sister. I love her. Ari is finished and putting the stuff back in the cupboard. She turns around and looks at me. I get out of the chair and walk over to her. I reach down and hold her hands in mine. I look her in the eye, Ari looks away. trying to avoid eye contact. I knew something was wrong. I just couldn’t figure it out. I let her hands go and wrap my arms around her.
We stand there for about 10 minutes or so just hugging. I couldn’t believe I had to put her through that. I’m usually the one to fix myself up. Not my sister. She starts to cry in my arms. Ari lifts her head and tells me that she just wants to go home. To see that her mom and dad are still alive and will take care of us. I have to brake her even more. I have to tell her the truth.
” Hunny, we cant go home. its not safe. I no you want mom and dad but they have moved on to a better place. Where we are now is home. I have to try and be the mom around here. We have to stay strong for the little ones. What we do now is what will make there future.”
Ari knows I am right but she just doesn’t want to see it at the moment. I don’t blame her. Neither do I. But we all have battles that we have to fight. She just doesn’t know what I have planned for her.
Its really early and me and Ari are the only ones awake. She takes me in the kitchen and pull out the first aid kit. While she does that I manage to build up the courage to actually look at my arm.
“Ari, what happened to me!?!”
“Channy don’t you remember?” she said while unpacking the first aid kit.
” No, Ari Im scared. What happened to my arm. Please tell me.”
She grabs the bandages and the damp cloth. and a bag to put these in for washing. Slowly she starts unwrapping my arm. I cant hold it in, I burst into tears. The pain is excruciating. Its worse than its ever been when I have done it.
She Looks up at me once she has fully removed the bandage,
”Get the picture or do i need to explain?”
“I get it. Im sorry.”
“Don’t be, I new you were going to do it and I should have stopped you, but I didn’t. When I came to my senses it was to late. You were sitting against a tree covered in blood with the pocket knife your dad gave you. I helped you back to the house and got you fixed up. We sat on the lounge and I held you in my arms as you fell asleep.”
I look at her with tears running down my face cleaning up my arm. The pain I am feeling is indescribable. I new something in her opened up. She was different. Not the same girl I first met a couple years ago. I guess that she was used to me saying it but she never actually new that one day she would be the one cleaning me up after I have a breakdown.
“Channy, hold this here.” All I do is listen to her and hold the bandage at the top of my arm near my elbow. Gently she wraps it. Kinda like she has bandaged up someone before. I ask her
“Ari, have you ever wrapped someone up before cause it seems like this isnt your first time.?”
she looks at me blankly. Her eyes turn back down to my arm and wrapping it up.
” Yeah I have. You. Last night.”
I feel really bad. What have I done. Not only have i scared myself, I have scared the one person who means the world to me. She is my little sister. I love her. Ari is finished and putting the stuff back in the cupboard. She turns around and looks at me. I get out of the chair and walk over to her. I reach down and hold her hands in mine. I look her in the eye, Ari looks away. trying to avoid eye contact. I knew something was wrong. I just couldn’t figure it out. I let her hands go and wrap my arms around her.
We stand there for about 10 minutes or so just hugging. I couldn’t believe I had to put her through that. I’m usually the one to fix myself up. Not my sister. She starts to cry in my arms. Ari lifts her head and tells me that she just wants to go home. To see that her mom and dad are still alive and will take care of us. I have to brake her even more. I have to tell her the truth.
” Hunny, we cant go home. its not safe. I no you want mom and dad but they have moved on to a better place. Where we are now is home. I have to try and be the mom around here. We have to stay strong for the little ones. What we do now is what will make there future.”
Ari knows I am right but she just doesn’t want to see it at the moment. I don’t blame her. Neither do I. But we all have battles that we have to fight. She just doesn’t know what I have planned for her.