Don't Let These Boots Fool You

I walked into the building after Jordan had disappeared through the doors. His kiss had distracted me, made me feel like I could move on. I saw all the guys moving tables and chairs across the poorly carpeted floor. I wanted to go back home, curl into a ball and hide from these guys. They weren’t supposed to be here in Kentucky comforting her. The guys were supposed to be back in the burgh with family.

“Kelly,” Sid’s voice poked through my thoughts. “Come here.” He was sitting all alone at a small booth near the exit. I slowly slid across the cheap vinyl seat looking him straight in the eye. We simply sat there, completely silent and no physical contact. I saw my mom walk in and sighed. I was hoping that now I would no longer be the center of everyone’s attention. “Let’s ditch this place” I looked directly at Sidney and was utterly shocked to hear him say we should leave. “I know you’re just as uncomfortable as I am. Show me around, show me where you grew up.”

“But I didn’t drive here.” I was trying to rationalize what had been going on. He tossed me a set of keys as he stood with his hand extended out to me. I looked around the room to see if anyone would notice if we left.

“Let’s go” I grabbed his hand as he dragged me through the door. I felt better as I crossed the threshold into the real world where to them it didn’t matter what happened to me. I had left my regrets in the diner and planned to leave them there. I opened the door to his car and slid in. I peeled out of the parking lot; the roads came naturally to me just like the silence that was over coming Sidney and I in the car.

We were getting closer to the lake that I had visited so much as a young girl. The dock was still there as well as the lily pads that floated across the lake with an ease that couldn’t be copied. “Come to the dock.” I commanded him as I got out of the car before him I was walking tantalizingly close to the edge of the dock. I slowly took the strappy heels I had worn to the funeral. The water would be too cold for feet seeing as it was two days before Thanksgiving.

“Why here” He sat beside me looking across to the other side where the woods were thick.

“When everything at home would get to be too much I’d come out here. I stayed sometimes, just to clear my head. I’ve even had a few firsts here.” I kicked my dangling feet trying to bite my tongue. Somehow, Sidney always got me to spill my guts, I was sick of always telling him how everything was for me. I wanted to know more about him before I gave him all of my secrets.

“Funny, I had a lot of firsts on my dock too. We can share if you want. My first kiss, a girl was staying with her grandparents from across the street. She was a senior I was a freshman. It was before I was noticed in hockey. It was the worst experience of my life, she ate my face.”

I was laughing so hard at him. I felt horrible for laughing as hard as I was but his experience was very similar to my own. “Sorry,” I continued to laugh hysterically. I gained my breath back and looked at him, “Don’t feel bad, my first kiss was worse. I had been gone for a few days. My family started looking for me. My older brothers best friend found me. He told me how worried he was. Next thing I know he was kissing me. I was so grossed out I swam across the lake and went home.”

I laughed at the story I just told and looked back at him he looked like he was going to start talking but I cut him off with my raised hand. “Wait it gets better. My brother found out when I got home. He found his best friend back at his house and beat the shit out of him.” Sid’s eyes got big and I was afraid I had made him terrified of my family, which was until I heard his laughter started to fill my ears. I was hunched over laughing at him laughing at my story.

I never thought I would be laughing on a day such as today. This was honestly what I needed, and looking back at Sidney I knew that I he knew exactly what I needed. “Okay,” He quit laughing and continued on, “My first sexual experience?” he questioned with eye brows raised wondering if that would be crossing the line today.

“Why the hell not, go right ahead.” I told him as I laid back on the dock looking up at the clear sky. Sid laid back next to me and looked over at me. I was honestly surprised with how honest he was being with me.

“Well, I had taken my best friend Nikki out to the pond. We had been skating for a while when we went to the car to warm up. As we sat there, we got closer in the back seat to warm up faster. She kissed me and started to sit on my lap. I was too nervous to make her stop.”

I was shocked that the big bad captain didn’t have an ideal first time. Then I thought about how he said he couldn’t tell her no, he was too Canadian. I looked over at him, “you really had that bad of a time?”

He nodded his head laughing. “Sadly yes, I didn’t have sex for some time because I was afraid all girls were like her.” I was still shocked that I had gotten this out of him. I quickly pushed myself up and stood above him. I put my hand out for him to take and waited for him.

“I want to show you something.” He stood and took my hand, following me through the woods. I followed the familiar path back to the cabin that I knew would still be there. I pushed the front door open and pushed him through the doorway. “Right here,” I pointed to the other room scooting over the fireplace starting a fire to keep warm. “He was a senior,” I started as I lit the wood in the fireplace and turned back around to him. “I was about to be a sophomore. At the time he was a starter on the football team, I was the cheerleading and softball star.

“He lead me on told me all the right things. Dated me for show, took me here and said all the right things. I laid there crying for two days because he took something and left. He’s now married, has five kids and is barely getting by because his wife got pregnant at 15.”

Sid pulled me closer to him and smiled. It was odd to smile about something as odd as bad first times. Sid looked at me right in the eyes and I knew I couldn’t tell him what I had told everyone else; that I had known what was going to happen that night. “What I just told you is a lie.” He looked at me confused. “I didn’t willingly give it up. He technically raped me. Had done it to a few other girls, his wife was one they’re married now because of her father.”

I felt Sid’s arms tighten around my body, I felt safe for the first time in this cabin. I had a hard time trusting people after that night; my twin had tried to help me overcome that fear. I knew with just that hug that I could trust him. I was too busy having the mental battle about trusting him or any other person to hear what he was saying.

“I’m sorry Kelly. Let’s talk about something else.” He was easing my pain by just being here, Jordan had to distract me with passion. I wanted to know how he managed to do this to me. How he could ease my pain without ever saying a thing to me.

“How do you ease my pain so easily?” His eyes fixed on mine as I tried to make him realize I hadn’t thought about the loss of my brother since we left. I felt more at ease than with Jordan’s lips on mine. “Since we left the restaurant I haven’t felt the hole in my heart. Thanks Sid.” I wrapped my arms around his neck as I fell into his lap. His arms slowly moved around my waist as I stayed still.

“I’m glad I could help.” He whispered into my hair as we stayed in our hug. “Maybe we should take you home. It is getting late.” I noticed the clock read well past nine and my mother would be wondering where I was all night.

Sid carried me to his car and drove back to my house. How he managed to get there when he didn’t know the way I’m not sure but I just went with it. He stopped the car and we just sat out front. I needed to know if he could ease my pain in more than one way. I pushed my body over to his lap and kissed him.

His lips were soft, his hands heavy on my hips. I felt at ease still, well at least until Jordan threw open the door. “Sid?” I slid out of his lap and walked past Jordan to the porch, far enough away to still hear but far enough to appear as if I couldn’t.

“You what?” Sid’s voice carried over to the porch.

“I kissed her. What the hell were you doing?”

“She was kissing me. I took her away from what was hurting her.”

“You kissed her too. Damn it we fucked up. We’ve never like the same girl.”

I was watching them pace by Sidney’s car thinking. My legs started moving before I could tell them to stop moving. I walked down the three front steps and between Jordan and Sidney. They both quit walking and looked at me. “Look I kissed Sid. I’m so confused; I just lost my fiancé, and my brother. I’m fucking confused. With Jordan he can ease my pain, but Sid can ease it by just sitting there.”

Both of them looked at me and stared. I hugged them both and went to turn away. “I’ll try and sort out my issues by the time I get back to the burg.” My hand was pulled back by Jordan.

Jordan put his hand behind my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. I was shocked that he did it in front of Sidney. Then I felt my other hand being pulled landing against a hard chest. I felt Sidney’s soft lips against mine in a soft kiss. I pulled away and watched as the both got into the car. My heart stopped as I looked at them both, I fucked up. I walked through the front door to be stopped by my mom.

“I don’t think Mike would be happy about that.” She had her arms crossed across her chest and I knew she was ready to start scolding me.

I wanted to laugh at her look, and at her trying to defend Mike. “Yeah well were technically unengaged because I walked away. He’s not the Mike who proposed to me. I don’t care what he thinks anymore. If he really cared he would have tried once I moved out there.” I marched right past my mother to the stairs. I walked into my brother’s room and laid in the bed trying to figure out what I was going to do.

Maybe I could ask Dan, but that would make him angry with Jordan and Sidney. I might be responsible for them having issues. I could call Jeff and ask him. Maybe a transfer would be a good idea