Love Is Hell

Lina.

It was Friday, lunch time, and Pat and Garrett had eaten with us the entire week. Finally, I’d accepted the fact that it was probably an every day thing, now that Pat and Courtney had some thing going on.

“So are you guys coming to our show tonight?” Pat asked.

“I want to. Lina, wanna go?” Courtney asked.

“If I don’t need to babysit, then sure,” I answered. To be honest, I’d been looking forward to Friday. I actually kind of enjoyed watching The Maine play and talking to people that weren’t snobby with unnatural tans and huge muscles, like all the kids at our school. Typical Arizona.

Pat and Courtney went into details about the show tonight, but I zoned out, feeling irritated with the sun beating down on my face. I fidgeted on my seat on the wooden bench.

“You okay?” Garrett asked from his spot next to me, where he sat everyday.

“I’m just hot and uncomfortable and the wood on this table keeps poking my legs and my head is killing me,” I said quietly.

“Wanna go inside?” he asked, his silver nose ring glinting in the blaring sun. Hell, it was only January and it was getting hot. Normally, it was cloudy or cool out, but today it felt like spring.

I glanced over at Pat and Courtney, who were still in a deep conversation.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

We rose from the table and started walking towards the door that led to the cafeteria. I stared at my jean-clad legs and the Converses on my feet as we walked along the sidewalk. When we reached the entrance of the school, I turned around to look back at my best friend. She and Pat were still engrossed in each other, not even looking in our direction.

“They didn’t even notice we left!” I spat, spinning around and pushing the door open.

Garrett let out a little laugh. “Lovebirds.”

I nodded in agreement and fake disgust. “I had to hear all about their date on Wednesday, details and all,” I said, referencing to their date, where Pat had taken her to see a movie.

Garrett made a grossed out face as we sat down at an empty table in the cafeteria. We still had twenty minutes until sixth period started.

“What did they do?” he asked.

“Oh, you know. The usual. He took her to a movie, and they ended up making out,” I said, grinning.

Garrett shook his head but laughed. “Pat didn’t tell me that. I think that’s girl-gossip, or something like that, though right?”

I rolled my eyes. “Like you guys don’t gossip.”

“Hey! We don’t! We just sit around and play video games and play guitars and mess around.”

I sighed. “That sounds really fun, actually. Courtney’s really into fashion, so she mostly just drags me around shopping.”

“Maybe you could come over and hang out with us,” Garrett said, almost shyly. “You and Courtney, I mean,” he added quickly. “You’ve met the guys; they’re great people.”

***

While I was walking to my last class of the day, I heard someone catcall from behind me. I turned to see who it was.

“Hey there, Carolina,” a guy wearing a golf t-shirt said, grinning cockily. I recognized him; we’d gone to school together for years.

“It’s Lina. Now what do you want, Jake?” I snapped and continued walking.

His grin only got wider as he followed me. “Let me take you out tonight.”

I smiled sweetly and said, “In your dreams,” before turning and walking into the classroom, a smirk on my face.

A few minutes later, after I’d taken my usual seat closest to the door, I saw Jake walk in with a few friends, and I cursed. I’d forgotten he had this class, too.

“Well hi there, Lina,” Jake said, emphasizing my name as he took a seat. Right next to me.

I rolled my eyes.

“So, how about I come get you at seven?” Jake said, still grinning. “I bet you’re quite the party.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I immediately felt uncomfortable. I’d never let him know that, though.

“How about... no?” I replied.

“Come on, it’ll be fun, sweet cheeks,” he said. His friends laughed.

I ignored him, wishing he would disappear.

“It’s not like you have a boyfriend or anything, Lina,” he taunted. “I’ll pick you up, okay?”

“Sorry, I’ve got plans,” I snapped.

“Come on, Lina. I’ll show you a really good time,” he said, winking.

“Don’t even fucking think about taking me out, Jake. I would never date an asshole like you,” I snarled, snatching my bag and rising from my seat.

One of his friends has stretched out his leg, trying to trip me and embarrass me furthermore. Instead, I pressed my shoe down on his flip-flop as hard as I could before heading to the back of the class. When I heard him yell in pain, I smirked.

Without thinking, I took the empty seat next to Garrett.

“Are you alright, Lina?” he asked me. His face was full of concern and I hated it.

I let out a bitter laugh. “This is why I cannot wait to graduate.”

All I wanted to do was go home and crawl into bed.

***

I stood next to Courtney and the boy I’d met at The Maine’s show a couple of weeks ago, Halvo. The Maine was playing up on stage at a bar that was slightly less shitty than the other one, which I was glad for.

“So are you girls coming to my party tonight?” Halvo asked.

My anger from being harassed earlier at school was still running through my mind, and I didn’t really want to go to a party with even more assholes. I wanted to go home and sleep.

“Yes! Lina, let’s go!” Courtney said, tugging on my arm.

“Did you really have that much fun at the last party, Court? ‘Cause I didn’t.”

“Hey, this party will be better. I didn’t invite so many people this time. You’ll have fun, I promise,” Halvo said, looking at me with puppy-dog eyes. Courtney nodded enthusiastically at me.

“Fine, whatever.”

Courtney grinned as Halvo said, “We’re even having some karaoke. You should show all those boys what you’ve got, Lina.”

I scoffed. “You’d have to get me pretty drunk, Halvo.”

He winked at me. “That’s what I was planning on.”

I laughed, a real laugh that eased my irritation. I actually liked this Halvo kid. He was silly and fun to be around.

***

“See, aren’t you having fun, Lina?” Halvo laughed as he swung me around the living room, which was being used as a makeshift dance floor.

He let go of me to do a dumb little dance move, shaking his hips at me.

I grinned. “This is fun.”

Halvo grinned too and said, “This needs to be our tradition! Dancing on Friday nights.”

“Alright. Deal,” I said, laughing as he spun me around again. “You promise to not break our tradition?” I asked, testing and teasing him at the same time.

He stood up straight and saluted me. “I promise, ma’am,” he said as seriously as he could before losing his poker face.

The music playing in Halvo’s house pumped loudly, and I could feel the vibrations in my chest. This was something I normally never did. But this was also something I was having a lot of fun doing.

“Are you...giggling?” Halvo exclaimed, feigning shock. I didn’t realize it, but I had been.

“I am having a lot of fun, Mr. Halvorsen,” I said, throwing my hands up the air.

He did the same, and we danced in a crowd of people. A crowd of Eric’s friends.

It was at that moment that I realized I could still be the responsible child my mom desperately needed me to be, but at the same time, I could be me, too. I could have fun and do normal things and hang out with friends. I could be Lina.

I might still not trust people, but that was different.

Halvo spun me in another circle as the song changed. When I stopped spinning, I opened my eyes to see John O’Callaghan standing in front of me.

“Do I get dance, Carolina?” John asked, smiling.

Halvo shook his head. “Dancing is an Eric-and-Lina thing only.”

“Damn, Halvo. Is this little girl replacing me already?” John retorted, teasing me.

“Yep. She’s my new best friend!” Halvo said, and I laughed. “No, take her, please. I need a drink and she refuses to have one.”

I rolled my eyes as he walked away, leaving John and I on the outskirts of the still-dancing crowd.

John and I stared at each other for a moment, until he started doing the chicken dance.

I scrunched my nose at him. “No, you’re not doing it right!” I yelled before doing the dance myself, showing him the right moves.

A second later, he laughed. “You’re not too bad, kid.”

“Better than you.”

“Come on, follow me,” he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me behind him.

“If you’re taking me to a bedroom to harass me, I will start screaming,” I warned.

“Well, damn. You just ruined my evil plan, kid,” he said as we walked outside and onto a deck.

“Where are we going?” I asked as we continued walking.

“Welcome to the party within the party!” John announced, raising an arm as we reached a large outbuilding. He opened the door, revealing a much smaller group of people than the one we’d left behind.

“Lina! There you are!” Courtney called from her spot on a worn out couch, smiling at me as she sat next to Pat.

Looking around, I saw Tim Kirch, Kennedy, Jared, and a few other guys I didn’t know, along with Pat and Courtney. I noticed Garrett sitting on a chair with a red cup in his hands, just like everyone else.

“She’s party material, guys!” John said, bending down to grab a beer from the cooler by his feet.

“Welcome to the club, Lina!” Jared yelled, grinning and patting the empty spot on the couch next to him.

“Hey, Jare. What club?” I asked, sitting down in between him and Courtney.

“The club doesn’t have a name. It’s just a club of cool kids,” Pat said.

“Yeah, and I’ve decided you’re club material. Consider yourself lucky, Lina, ‘cause we don’t let many girls into the club,” John said as he cranked up the volume on an old stereo, filling the room with Tom Petty.

“John, not more Petty!” Tim whined as he sipped on a can of beer.

“Hey, fuck you, Petty’s awesome,” John said, nodding his head to the music.

I smiled and looked over at Courtney. “How long have you been out here?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Pretty much since we got here. The party inside was lame. So Pat took me out to the club.”

“And you just left me inside, huh?”

She grinned sheepishly. “I love you!” she sang.

I rolled my eyes and smiled, conscious of eyes on me.

“So you’re Lina, huh?” a tall guy with curling brown hair asked.

“It seems I am,” I answered.

“I’m Rex. Nice to meet ya,” he said, offering his hand to shake. I shook it and removed my hand quickly.

“Ditto,” I said, looking at the other boy I’d yet to meet. He looked oddly familiar.

“I’m Max,” the other guy said. Suddenly I remembered; Garrett had told me he was one of their friends.

“So you’re the one who hit on me at the last party?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. 

“You remember that? Sorry, I had too much to drink that night,” he said.

I sighed. “It’s cool. I’m Lina.”

He nodded. “Nice to meet you, Lina. I promise, no more hitting on you!”

“Yeah, it’s against the rules to hit on a club member,” Pat said.

“But you’re hitting on Courtney! She’s a club member!” John said.

“That doesn’t count?” Pat said, making Courtney grin.

“It totally counts, Patrick,” Garrett said, speaking up for the first time. I saw him look at me and smile a little. Feeling generous, I smiled a little back at him.

Pat flipped him off as the guys started a new conversation on a new topic, already tired of the current one.

“So, you think you’re ready to attend the club meetings, kid?” John asked, waltzing over to me.

“I dunno, O’Callaghan. If all you guys do is sit and drink beer, I might just go back inside,” I said, teasingly.

“Well let’s get this damn party started, then!” John yelled loudly, turning up the music even more.

He walked to the center of the outbuilding, his shoes scuffing on the concrete. Tim and Rex got up to join him, and the three of them started dancing wildly.

And then everyone else in the room had gotten up and started dancing wildly, too, until I was the only one still sitting.

I hopped up and began walking towards Courtney, when suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around my abdomen, lift me up into the air, and spin me around.

When the pair of arms stopped spinning me, Jared was revealed as the culprit, grinning widely.

“Damn you, Jared,” I said, grinning back at him as we joined the dancing group.

John grabbed my hand and pulled me over to him as he started doing the chicken dance again.

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“Want a beer?” he asked.

“Nope,” I said, resisting the urge to sigh.

“You’re just like Garrett,” John said, laughing and shaking his head.

“Hey, we’re still in high school. And you’re not even legal to drink,” Garrett said as he moved to stand next to me. I instantly felt more comfortable, and I didn’t know why.

John simply laughed and walked back over to the cooler to get another drink.

“See, I told them you were club material,” Garrett said. His blue eyes were wide and awake as he smiled at me.

“Well, thanks, Nickelsen. I appreciate your approval.”

He laughed. “Anytime, Lina.”