Love Is Hell

Garrett.

All I could think of that night was Lina, of the way her honey-like voice filled my car in the darkness as she sang along with the radio, and the way she would look at me with her hazel, slitted cat eyes while still managing to smile at me. She reminded me of a fox: graceful and clever but sly and unpredictable.

When it was two in the morning and I still couldn't fall asleep, I reached the conclusion that it wasn't right to care that much about a girl I didn't really know. Unhealthy, even. But I couldn't stop myself from liking Carolina Hawkins. She was the kind of girl that had that effect on everyone, I think. She captured you in her trap so that she had you right where she wanted you. And then she left you there.

Right when that thought formed in my mind, I knew I probably should stay platonic with her. But I thought of her, of the Lina I had come to know so far, and I knew staying platonic with her would be impossible. I could just hear her voice in my head; her witty remarks, her whispers in the dark, her giggles on the merry-go-round. It all felt like a rhythm, lulling me to sleep.

***

"Garrett, can we listen to your Ryan Adams CD again?" her voice crooned.

"Which one?"

She reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a record that we had, in fact, listened to before. Just not tonight. It was "Gold".

"Sure, Lina. Eject Wilco and put it into to CD slot," I said. We were in my car, the only illumination the streetlights that were blurs as I drove her home.

She ejected the current record and inserted the new one, and immediately a familiar song rang through the car, one Lina had sung along with before, too.

"So, uh, do you believe in aliens?" I asked. The tank top she was wearing had the head of an alien on it.

"What?"

"Your shirt."

She looked down at her chest, then was reminded of her attire. "Oh. Yeah, of course I believe in aliens. Don't you?" She smiled at me as Ryan Adams provided background music, like a scene from a movie.

"I dunno, Lina. I mean, I guess so," I said.

She nodded. "It'd be pretty naive to think that there are no other life forms out there when there's so many more galaxies, ya know? But, I think aliens are pretty awesome." We had pulled up to her house by then, and I got out of the car to walk her to the door.

When we reached her porch, I said, "So, uh, my birthday's next weekend, and the guys and I are all having a party at my house. So if you'd wanna come, that'd, uh, be cool." I felt like an idiot with the way I was stuttering. "I mean, since Courtney and Pat are dating, she'll probably come too anyways."

Despite me acting like a kid who'd never talked to a girl in his life, Lina smiled. "I'd love to come. You'll have to tell me the details later." She started inching towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

I nodded. Tomorrow was Friday. Wait… we had a three-day weekend due to some teacher meeting. So I wouldn't see her tomorrow. I informed the girl next to me, who was tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Oh, well okay. Monday, then. 'Night, Gare," Lina said as she opened her front door and stepped inside, waving once before closing the door.

Well, holy shit. Carolina Hawkins had just called me by my nickname.

***

I woke up the next morning with a start. Then, I started cursing as I realized what I'd done. I had dreamt of Lina in my sleep. As if I weren't creepy enough, I had to go and dream about the girl, too. Actually -as I recalled the events in my dream- I realized everything that happened hadn't been a sleep-induced creation; I just relived moments from last night, when I drove her home after our show. Nevertheless, I still felt like a major creep.

Groaning, I forced myself out of bed and walked into the kitchen, where I found my brother Trey eating cereal at the table. I took a seat next to him, putting my face in my hands.

"What's up little bro? Got a nasty hangover, or what?" Trey said, sipping on a glass of orange juice. "Drink some ginger ale. That ought to help."

I shook my head. "I'm not hungover, Trey." I sighed. "Have you ever liked a girl who didn't like you back? I mean, really really liked her?"

I lifted my face to look at him. He had his lips pursed. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Why? Need girl advice?"

Reluctantly, I nodded.

Trey grinned. "Spill the details!"

"Well, she's Pat's girlfriend's best friend. And I've liked her since ninth grade," I admitted.

"Damn. That's a long time. She doesn't like you back?"

I shrugged. "She doesn't know I even like her, Trey. But I doubt she likes me anyways."

He nodded. "Are you at least friends with her?"

"Yeah. We're friends. Or at least I think so. I drove her home last night. I've driven her home a few times, actually." I decided to omit the part where she called me "Gare". I still wanted something to keep for myself. I wanted to savor that moment.

"Hey! That's a good start. See, the trick to getting the girl is: you have to figure out what they want. Then, you've got to make her want you."