Love Is Hell

Lina.

It had been almost a week since Garrett’s birthday; it was the following Friday. I’d seen Courtney, Pat, and Garrett at school, but besides that, I hadn’t hung out or even talked to anyone outside of school. Joey was still mad from last Saturday when I’d left for Garrett’s party, so as my “punishment”, he’d been staying out even later after going to work at the restaurant or baseball practice. He’d even been ignoring me at home, which effectively pissed me off, though I knew Joey was just being stubborn. He was just like me.

But all of that left me to babysit Danny all night, because our mother was at work -which meant I couldn’t see any friends after school. Not that I minded much, anyways. The conversation I’d had with Courtney over the phone the day after Garrett’s party scared me.

“So did you kiss him?” Courtney had asked.

I frowned. “Just on the cheek. Why?”

“Lina! You were supposed to give him a real kiss!”

I stood staring out my window, frozen and dumbfounded. “Why the hell would I do that?”

I could practically hear her rolling her eyes. “Oh, no reason.”

I groaned. Why would Courtney ask me that? It made me think that someone was expecting me to kiss him. Yes, I had kissed him on the cheek. Couldn’t that be a friendly gesture? Lots of friends kissed each other’s cheeks. And that’s what Garrett and I were: friends. He knew that, right? Of course he did.

Goddamn Courtney. I’d finally gotten over my stubborn refusal to be friends with Garrett because he’d seen me on The Day, but she had to go and confuse me. Ever since she had asked me if I kissed him, it made my mind go into overdrive and my anxiety had been higher than ever.

“Sissy, can we leave now?” Danny asked, tugging on the hem of my shirt. He’d gotten a birthday card in the mail -even though his birthday was months from now- from our Aunt Kathy. We had come to the conclusion she was slightly out of her mind (surprise, surprise). That, or she had Alzheimer’s.

Anyways, said birthday card had contained twenty dollars, and Danny had been begging me to take him to the store to get a new toy.

“Sure, kid, come on,” I said, leading the way towards the front door. I helped him into his velcro tennis shoes and, after I’d buckled him into his car seat, we were off.

***

“Sissy, look at this one!” Danny said for the ten millionth time. We were standing in one of the toy isles at the store, surrounded by plastic trucks, leggos, and action figures. Currently, Danny was holding up a Spiderman figurine.

I nodded. “That’s pretty cool, Danny.” I tried to not sound too patronizing, but we’d been here for forty-five minutes, after all. I just wanted the kid to pick something out. The toys he liked were either too mature for him or cost too much, to his dismay.

“How much does it cost?”

I leaned over and looked at the rack. “Fifteen bucks.”

Danny grinned. “Can I get this, Sissy?” he asked excitedly, jumping up and down.

I smiled at him; he was too cute. “If that’s the one you want, then yes.”

He nodded vigorously and started walking away, proving his point. I followed him, taking a hold of his hand with mine and leading him to the check out counter.

After I paid for Danny’s toy, we headed back out to the parking lot. While I was searching for my car, I heard my name being called from somewhere in the distance.

“Lina! Hey, Lina!”

I looked around me, but couldn’t see anyone. Who was it?

“Sissy, those boys are saying your name,” Danny said, pointing to two figures across the lot.

I looked in that direction, squinting my eyes. Even blocking the sun with my hand, I still couldn’t make out who they were.

“What, are you blind?” one of them said, coming closer. I could see now they were two boys.

Luckily, I recognized the next voice that talked. “Yeah John, didn’t you know Lina was handicapped?”

I rolled my eyes. “Very funny, Halvorsen.”

Eric and John were now standing in front of me, grinning. “Whatcha doin’, Hawkins?” John asked.

I looked down at my brother, who was clutching my hand and hiding behind my legs. “Danny wanted to do some shopping,” I said, tugging on Danny’s hand in hopes of persuading him to come out of hiding.

“Hey, bud. I’m Eric,” the shorter boy said, crouching down to Danny’s level and holding his hand out. Danny didn’t budge. He’d always been a little shy.

“Danny, it’s alright. They’re my friends,” I said, smiling reassuringly.

Tentatively, he scooted closer to Halvo but didn’t shake his hand. “I’m Danny,” he said quietly. He looked up at John, who was smiling at him. “You look like a giraffe.”

Halvo burst into laughter, standing up and clapping John on the back. “He does, doesn’t he?”

Danny smiled a little, and looked back up at me, his hazel eyes -the same color as mine- wide.

“So what are you guys here for?” I asked, making conversation. I felt a little bad; today was Friday, the day Halvo and I had our “tradition”. Instead of dancing like idiots like we agreed on, our tradition had strayed from the original to simply hanging out. Thus, I felt guilty because I hadn’t made plans with him yet. Hopefully he wasn’t mad.

“Halvo’s girlfriend cheated on him. We’re here buying ice cream because he’s depressed,” John said excitedly.

“Yeah, wanna come over and mope with us?” Halvo asked, chuckling.

“I didn’t even know you had a girlfriend!” I said, raising eyebrows.

“Yeah, well, it’s only been about a week. We hooked up at Garrett’s birthday party, actually. But anyways, are you coming over?”

I bit my lip. Without thinking, I said, “Yeah, sure. Just let me take Danny home, and I’ll meet you at your house.”

“Good, because it’s tradition day anyways.”

***

When my mom got home from work an hour and a half later, I tucked Danny into bed with a movie playing on his tv, his new Spiderman toy clutched in his hand. I kissed him goodnight and headed out towards my car, completely ignoring Joey as I passed him eating in the kitchen. If he wanted to be a douchebag to me, he could kiss my ass.

I sped down the highway, headed for Eric’s house. When I got there, I saw John’s rusty white truck parked in the driveway. I didn’t see signs that anyone else was here, which was what I had been expecting. I was still slightly weary of John, but so far he’d been turning out to be a pretty decent guy.

“Hey, you came!” Halvo yelled as he opened the front door, letting me inside. He led me to his room -after I said hello to his mother- where I saw John sitting on a beanbag chair, pounding the hell out of an xbox controller. I sat down on Halvo’s bed as John murmured a detached greeting. He was absorbed in his video game, which I was pretty sure was of the ‘Call Of Duty’ descent.

After about fifteen minutes of watching John and Halvo mutilate both each other and other gamers, I spoke up. “So you guys invited me over to watch you play video games?”

“No, we- Ahh! Dammit!” John started, but cut himself off by cursing. “He killed me, that fucker!” He even went as far as flipping off the tv screen.

I giggled and rolled my eyes. “Gettin’ a little worked up, JohnO?”

He groaned and ignored me, tossing the controller onto the floor. He then proceeded to get out of his chair and sit down next to me on Halvo’s bed, which I admit, made me a little nervous. After all, I wasn’t oblivious to John’s escapes with girls.

“Can I tell her the plan, dude?” John asked, bouncing up and down on the mattress. He seemed so childlike and silly that my previous thought was immediately washed away. John was a good guy, even if he didn’t have the best reputation.

Halvo let out a little laugh as he continued to play his video game. “Sure, man.”

John turned to me and grinned. “Okay, so you know how Halvo’s girlfriend cheated on him?”

I nodded.

“Well,” he continued, “Her and her family are away for the weekend. We’re gonna go teepee her house!”

My eyes widened. Definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“So are you in?” Eric asked, swiveling in his chair to look at me.

After sucking in a long breath, I finally said, “You bet your ass I am,” and grinned. I rolled my eyes as the boys cheered. “If we get arrested though, you two are bailing me out of jail with your own money, got it?”

They muttered equivalents of “whatever” and went into further detail of our probably-illegal plans.

Apparently, we were putting on ski masks “just for the hell of it” and they had collected about ten rolls of toilet paper the past few days. When it got dark in about an hour, we would leave and put it all into action.

“You know, I probably shouldn’t be hanging out with you guys,” I said, laughing.

John grinned. “You probably really shouldn’t. You’re just a baby, after all.”

When he said that, my mind jumped to the conversation we’d had on our walk home from 8123 last week. He’d called me a baby, too. Was it coincidence that John called me that, or had Garrett maybe said something?

I chose to ignore whatever I was thinking, as the two boys and I continued to waste time until it was time to leave.

“So did you have any fun at the party last week, Lina?” Halvo asked, spinning wildly in his swivel chair. It reminded me of when Pat, Garrett, and I went to the park and we rode on the merry-go-round. “I didn’t see you very much.”

“Oh, but I saw her dancing with Gibbs!” John exclaimed. He looked at me and smirked, like he knew some secret.

“You danced with Austin?!” Halvo yelled, coming to an abrupt halt.

I frowned. “Yes, I danced with him, and Jared, and Courtney, and other people. I do have friends, you know,” I said harshly. Why the hell was he making a big deal about it.

“Woah, calm down. It’s just that, if Austin was dancing with you, it probably means he’s got some kinda crush on you, or something.”

“That, or he thinks you’re hot,” John added. “Which is probably the case.”

I rolled my eyes. “Can’t boys control your damn hormones? I mean, what happened to the days when a guy would take a girl out dancing because he likes her?”

“Those days have been burning in hell for years, Lina,” Halvo said, laughing. “But no, seriously, if Austin tries any shit with you, tell me. You’re too good for that.”

“Too good for what, Eric? But thanks.”

“Too good to be used. I mean, Austin’s my friend, and he truly is a good guy... he just doesn’t know when to back off sometimes.”

I sighed and nodded, wishing for a new conversation topic. “Well, I’ll just have to set him straight next time, huh?” I said, earning a chuckle from John.

“Good luck with that, Hawkins,” John said, standing up. “Now come on. I think it’s dark enough for us to carry out the plan.”

***

It was fifteen minutes later, and Eric, John, and I were pulling ski masks over our heads as we sat inside Halvo’s car. Lucky me, I’d gotten the backseat.

“I feel like a criminal, guys,” I said. “I mean, we’re wearing ski masks! That practically yells juvenile delinquent!”

They laughed. “Well, you are the only juvenile here, Lina...”

“Yeah, which means if we get arrested, you two get to spend time in a jail cell!” I fired back.

“Lina, we aren’t going to get arrested! We’ve done this plenty of times!” Halvo said, getting out the car. Fortunately, his ex-girlfriend’s house was mostly secluded, so we didn’t need to worry about neighbors calling the police on us.

“Heads up,” John said, tossing me a role of toilet paper. Grinning and giving in to the temptation of teepee-ing the house of the girl that hurt Halvo, I ran over to the nearest tree and began throwing the white paper.