Love Is Hell

Garrett.

“So, Garrett, you have a thing for my cousin Lina?” Jared asked as we stood holding our guitars during band practice Thursday night in Pat’s basement.

“Dammit, Pat, you weren’t supposed to tell every person you saw!” I yelled, letting a couple of curse words slip out of my mouth.

Jared grinned. “So you do like her, then, huh?”

I shrugged. I didn’t want the guys to make a big deal out of it, and then somehow tell her before I did. “I guess. Can we keep it on the down-low, please? I don’t want her to think I’m some creep.”

“Why don’t you just ask her out, man?” John asked from his position in front of the mic. I wished it were as simple as John made it sound.

“Like I said, I don’t want to creep her out. I don’t really know her that well, either. And I really don’t think she likes me that much,” I said, fiddling with my guitar strap.

“Start putting the moves on her then!” John said.

Jared shook his head. “Lina can be a hardass. She hates it when guys hit on her. If you like her, I suggest just being her friend first and getting to know her. Once you’re comfortable around her, she’ll be comfortable around you.”

“Sounds way too easy.”

“You’re kind of right on that one, Gare. Lina’s anything but easy,” Jared said, strumming on his guitar.

“But she’s hot,” John added, and I internally groaned. I really didn’t want to have competition, especially not with John.

“Hey, her family member’s in the room, right next to you, bro! Watch your mouth,” Jared called.

“Sorry, but it’s true. Isn’t it, Gare?”

I shrugged, not saying anything. I definitely thought it was true, but “hot” wasn’t the word I would use to describe Lina. She was... too complex for that.

“Pat asked her best friend Courtney out on a date,” I said, wanting to change the subject.

“Really? Way to go, man!” Kennedy said, fist-bumping Pat. I rolled my eyes.

“At least someone’s getting action,” John whined.

“Yeah, Lina and I caught them making out after the show on Friday,” I said, unable to resist the temptation of telling the guys. Actually, I just wanted to see how the words “Lina and I” would sound coming out my mouth.

“You and Lina, huh?” Kennedy asked, grinning and winking at me.

“You were totally checking her out last night, Garrett, so don’t even think about talking about Courtney and me,” Pat yelled from behind his drums, smirking.

“You saw her last night?” John asked, suddenly curious.

I nodded. “Yeah, Courtney was babysitting Lina’s little brother for her, and she called Pat and asked him to bring over pizza. So he made me come too.”

Pat scoffed. “I sooo did not make you, you wanted to go. I told you I was going to Lina’s house, and you asked if you could come too.”

“Ouch,” Jared said, smiling. It was a friendly smile, that said “I feel your pain even though you think my cousin’s hot”.

I ignored Pat, plucking on my guitar strings, remembering last night. It was obvious how much Danny admired his big sister; and how much she loved him too. I smiled, thinking back to Danny’s sassy comments. He was like a miniature Joey.

And I couldn’t deny Pat’s earlier comment; I probably had checked her out. I didn’t know what made me so attracted to her. She had lots of attractive qualities, but she wasn’t normally the kind of girl I would go for, and everyone knew that. The fact that she loved Ryan Adams maybe as much as I did gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t as mysterious as I thought she was.

***

“So, class, I have a small project planned!” my biology teacher said enthusiastically as she started passing out rubrics. It was seventh period, a class I sheepishly looked forward to every day. I tried not to glance over at Lina as she sat far away from my seat in the back of the class, the desk in the corner next to the window.

“It’s a group project,” Mrs. Penn said. When the class started talking excitedly, she shushed them and added, “And I’ve already picked out your partners!” Everyone whined, but I couldn’t care less. As long as I didn’t get stuck with a prissy rich girl, I’d deal.

Mrs. Penn pulled a piece of paper and began reading from it, saying, “Listen up, class. Here’s your partners.”

I didn’t bother to listen to her until I heard my name being called. “Garrett Nickelsen, with Carolina Hawkins,” she said, continuing her list of pairs.

My eyes widened. I hadn’t even let myself hope we’d be paired together because I doubted it would happen, and to be honest -I was scared shitless of working with her.

“Okay class, get working! I’m only giving you today and Monday, so no wasting time,” Mrs. Penn said. I saw Lina get up out of her seat, walking towards me.

Lina paused in front of my desk, pursing her pink lips. “Nice shoes. My brother has the same pair,” she said finally, taking a seat in the desk next to me. “So I was thinking, we could just do a poster...”

“Wait, what’s our project even on, again?” I stuttered.

She gave a small laugh. “Every group got assigned a different biome. Ours is over the rainforest. Did you even listen to anything she just said?” She nodded her head towards the teacher.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. So a poster?” I asked, feeling like an idiot.

She nodded. “I know we don’t have the stuff for it right now, but I was thinking that we could just stay after school today, buy a poster board from the school bookstore, and use the supplies in the art room.”

“Would the art teacher let us use her stuff?”

“Yeah, I go in there all the time. I’m kind of her teacher’s pet,” she said, smiling ruefully.

I laughed. “Well, okay. That sounds like a good plan.” Lina Hawkins: teacher’s pet? I was genuinely surprised.

“Okay. You’ll be able to stay after school right? I mean, you don’t need to catch a bus or anything, right?” she asked.

“Nah, I drive myself.”

She nodded.

“What should we do now?” I asked, still feeling awkward.

Lina let out a little breath and pushed a lock of chocolate hair out of her face. “I guess we don’t have anything to do right now...” We were both silent for a moment. I didn’t know if she felt awkward, but I sure did. “So are you guys playing a show tonight?”

I shook my head. “We couldn’t find anyone to schedule us tonight. We have one next week, though.”

“If Courtney’s date with Pat goes well, she’ll probably drag me to your show then.”

“Hey, we aren’t that bad, are we?” I said, joking around with her. In the back of my mind I wondered where that little bit of confidence came from.

She smiled. “You guys actually do have a good sound. Honestly, I was a little surprised. I feel like the music industry has gone to hell these days, but your band gives me a little hope.”

I laughed and said, “Have you listened to the CD I gave you, yet?”

“Actually, I’d just forgotten it until now. I’ll definitely listen to it this weekend, though.”

I nodded. “You’ll have to tell me which one’s your favorite.”

***

I followed Lina as we entered the dark art room, the sterile smell of paint filling my nostrils. She pushed open the door with a poster board we’d just purchased in her hand and turned on the lights. Color immediately flooded my vision.

“Woah. I guess it’s been a long time since I’ve been in here. It looks a lot different,” I said, looking at the painted walls around us.

“Yeah, Mrs. Flinn had a few students help repaint the walls last summer. It looks pretty great, huh?” She grabbed a handful of markers, some construction paper, and a pair of scissors and sat down at a table. I took a seat across from her.

“Were you one of those students, by chance?”

Lina blushed, which almost shocked me. “Yeah, I was.”

“I didn’t know you liked to paint. What part did you do?” I asked, looking at the walls. Every inch of them were painted.

“Guess,” she said as she started cutting out letters from construction paper.

I studied the walls, trying to figure out what part she had done. There were so many different scenes going on: a gushing waterfall, puffy clouds made of different hues of pink and blue, an elaborate rose garden that connected into the clouds, a pattern with aztec-looking tiles, and so many more.

“I have no idea. The clouds?” I asked, shooting in the dark.

She shook her head and pointed to a space on the wall behind me. “The rain.”

I turned to look at it. It was a painting of a little girl -without a face- holding an umbrella, the rain cascading in all shades of blue and gray around her. Her little red shoes were reflected in a puddle she was standing in. It was beautiful.

“Wow, Lina, that’s amazing. You did that all by yourself?”

She simply nodded, engulfed in her school work. She was glueing the word ‘RAINFOREST’ in green colored paper on the top of the poster. I sighed and reached for a pair of scissors to help cut.

We worked in comfortable silence for a few minutes, until the blaring noise of The Red Hot Chili Peppers erupted in the room.

She jumped, her scissors falling the floor. She quickly reached into her bag and pulled our her phone, which was the culprit of the noise. Lina held the phone to her ear and said, “Hey, Court.”

“Carolina Hawkins, where the hell are you?” I could hear the other voice screech.

Lina grinned. “Shit. I forgot about you, didn’t I? Sorry. I’m in the art room, working on a school project.” A second later Lina’s face became shocked. “She hung up on me!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Do you take her home?”

She nodded. “She’ll be in here in about five minutes, I bet you.”

We returned to our work. We’d finished cutting, and now we were writing facts on the poster with marker.

Five minutes later, just as Lina had bet, Courtney came into the art room, throwing open the door and bursting our silence like a bubble.

“Lina, I want to go home,” Courtney whined. “Don’t you have to take care of Danny, for your mom?”

Lina shook her head. “My mom’s not working tonight.”

Courtney sighed and said, “Can I just have your car keys, then?”

“Well how would I get home then?” Lina asked, squinting her eyes.

“I could take you home,” I added quietly. She looked at me hesitantly. That wasn’t a weird offer to make, right? Sure, we weren’t exactly friends yet, but we weren’t strangers either.

“Okay, fine. Here,” Lina said, tossing her friend her keys. Courtney grabbed them, grinned, and waved before shutting the art room door behind us, leaving the room to only Lina and me again.

“Are you sure you can take me home? I don’t want you to have to go out of your way,” she said, looking up at me.

I nodded quickly and said, “It’s no problem, Lina. You don’t even live that far away from me.”

“Thanks, Garrett,” she said softly.

“Sure,” I said, before letting the quietness settle around us again.

Her eyes were trained on the paper, so I used it as an opportunity to study her, as creepy as that was. Her lips were a thin line on her face, and her hazel eyes were wide.

I compared this Lina to the one I had been around last weekend. This Lina was reserved. The other Lina had been carefree and smiling. Taking another look at her, I was totally conflicted with myself on what to think of her.

She was witty and elusive and beautiful, and I was just a boy.