Elapse
time elapses. waves crash.
Dear John,
Time elapses. Waves crash. The sun rises. The sun sets. The earth moves. People move on. We love. Those seven phrases repeat themselves on a loop in my mind as I shamelessly stare at him. The light hits his face perfectly—accentuating the contours of his face, embracing the golden colour of his skin, and making the green of his eyes appear brighter as they look into mine. I see the curl of his pink lips, and mine curl even further in response, giving me the courage to say what I have wanted to say since day one.
"I think," I finally say, "that I just had an epiphany." He raises his eyebrows.
"And what would that be?" he asks, curious.
"I love you."
And with those three words and that one phrase, his eyes grow wide and he remains silent. I start to panic, but I try to reassure myself that he is just left speechless because he is happy that I love him, and he'll say that he loves me back in a few seconds. But as more seconds pass and he is still silent, the hope I held on to just keeps crumbling, and diminishes to dust the moment his mouth opens to form words, but his voice does not make a sound.
"I-It's okay," I say, trying to stop the awkwardness from spreading. "You don't have to say it back, I just wanted you to know," I slow down as he sits up, and I rise with him. The moment he jumps out of bed, I feel myself falling apart, my whole world turning into water. He runs out of the room, and by now, I am calling for him like a pathetic, impotent child who hasn't gotten what she wants. But isn't that exactly what I am right now? I am a pathetic, impotent child who isn't loved by the man of her dreams.
Time elapses. Waves crash. The sun rises. The sun sets. The earth moves. People move on. We love. Those seven phrases repeat themselves on a loop in my mind as I shamelessly stare at him. The light hits his face perfectly—accentuating the contours of his face, embracing the golden colour of his skin, and making the green of his eyes appear brighter as they look into mine. I see the curl of his pink lips, and mine curl even further in response, giving me the courage to say what I have wanted to say since day one.
"I think," I finally say, "that I just had an epiphany." He raises his eyebrows.
"And what would that be?" he asks, curious.
"I love you."
And with those three words and that one phrase, his eyes grow wide and he remains silent. I start to panic, but I try to reassure myself that he is just left speechless because he is happy that I love him, and he'll say that he loves me back in a few seconds. But as more seconds pass and he is still silent, the hope I held on to just keeps crumbling, and diminishes to dust the moment his mouth opens to form words, but his voice does not make a sound.
"I-It's okay," I say, trying to stop the awkwardness from spreading. "You don't have to say it back, I just wanted you to know," I slow down as he sits up, and I rise with him. The moment he jumps out of bed, I feel myself falling apart, my whole world turning into water. He runs out of the room, and by now, I am calling for him like a pathetic, impotent child who hasn't gotten what she wants. But isn't that exactly what I am right now? I am a pathetic, impotent child who isn't loved by the man of her dreams.