So, Long Live Us

Alex's P.O.V

I can't believe she is gone. I never thought she would leave. I never meant to hurt her. Jack must be so pissed at me.

My mind kept going back to when Jack said that I promised to care for Maddison. I said it when I was like 10. It was 8 years ago. I still meant every word. I did do love Maddison. I care about her so much it hurts me as much as it hurts her. After that kiss at the party I wanted to kiss her again and again.

It hurt when I saw Jordan kiss her because I so badly wanted it to be me.

What was I thinking going out with Lisa when who I really wanted was standing right in front of me for the past 15 years? I was just too scared to admit I had strong feelings for Maddison. I didn't want to break her heart and if I did go out with her I would loose her if she we ever did break up.

I couldn't loose her. Not now. Not ever. But I guess I already have seeing as she's boarding a plane and flying home because of me.

I had a girl in this room that I told I loved when I don't. I had to do something. I stormed into the room that Maddison was meant to be in with Lisa. I had to do this, I told myself in my head. "Tomorrow you're getting on a plane back to Baltimore. You'll go find a guy that really wants to be with you and just forget we even happened, Lisa. I can't be living a lie anymore. I don't love you and I know I was wrong being with you. I know I was wrong telling you I loved you when I don't."

"Is this about Maddison leaving? Because we can work through that together. We can get her to come back." Lisa walks over to me. She looked confused but not hurt.

"This isn't just about her leaving. It's so much bigger than that. It always has been and you knew it too."

"I didn't want you to actually mean it. I just thought it was going to pass as our relationship grew."

"I lied to you and I lied to myself. I told myself I didn't want her when all along I have and I just had you to try and get over her and you know that. You always have. We just both didn't want to admit it."

"I hate her for this."

"You've hated her for a long time Lisa. You can't hate her for me loving her. That's not her fault."

"I hate her for loving you back."

"She couldn't help it either."

"I hope you two will be very happy together." Lisa said coldly. I shake my head.

"That's if I can get her to forgive me."

"She will. She could never stay mad at you for too long. That's a fact."

"I sure hope you're right, Lisa."

"I am. Believe me." She smiles then picks up her stuff. "I'll go now. I'll see you at home. Have a great tour and good luck with Maddison. She's perfect for you."

"She's perfect." I simply said. Lisa walks out the door with her stuff. She just walked out my life and I was okay with that. Now onto getting Maddison,the only girl I have really ever loved.