So, Long Live Us

"I messed up."

"You did more than mess up Maddison. You made me think that you liked me when all that was going through that little brain of yours was him."

I couldn't look at Jordan. I would look in his eyes and everything would go wrong. The tears would flood back to me and I would be depressed when I should be happy. It seemed like everything I did or wanted to do was going to go wrong and fuck up.

"You're being a little harsh on her, Jordan." Alex spoke up. "If anything it's my fault. I should of told her my feeling sooner."

"Stop blaming yourself Alex." I say as I look up and catch Alex's gaze.

"But I-"

"No. Alex. Just shut up. Somehow you have managed to make this all about you. It's always about you and what you want. How have you made the relationship between Jordan and I about you?"

"I-I didn't mean too..."

"You don't mean anything you do. How do I know you even mean when you say you love me?"

"Because I do mean it! I know you felt it in the kiss."

"I felt that the first time I kissed you. It's because I know I'm in love with you. I can admit that to myself no matter how much I don't want to. It seems that you couldn't do that for 15 years. Am I that hard to commit to?"

What was I saying? It was like word vomit. I didn't want to say all these things to Alex but I needed to let him know I felt.

"You're not hard to commit to. It was just me. I realize now." Alex pleaded. I shook my head. A part of me was telling me to take a running jump at him and attack him with kisses. The other part involved running to him, just slapping him after. Slapping him for everything he has put me through but still I would want to kiss him. I couldn't win. His chocolate brown eyes were so amazing I could get lost in them for days and I wouldn't want to come back.

"Why do you make it so hard to be mad at you for more than 5 minutes?" All Alex could do was smile at me. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "You're a dick, but I wouldn't change you for the world."

"Baby." Alex says simply. I wrapped my arms around his waist. I felt like crying but not because I was sad but in fact the opposite. I was happy in Alex's grip and for the first time I felt like everything was going to go right. Maybe everything was turning around for me. Alex and I could maybe be happy together.