So, Long Live Us

I made myself comfortable at the back of English at my desk. Alex waltzes in with Lisa and Alex sits next to me, in his usual place. Lisa sits at the desk next to him. I look forward with my monologue in my hand. I was completely terrified of talking in front of the whole class. I only had to stand up at my desk and read out a monologue we all had to write about love and visions of love and a lot of shit like that. Jack always told me that I was good at writing. He actually said I was great, along with the rest of the band. I didn’t like believing it though.

Mr Brett walked in and sat at his desk. “Today you are all reading your monologues. Maddison, you’re up first” He says. I shake a little as I stand up slowly. I open up the bit of folded paper and cleared my throat before I begin to read out what I have written on a scruffy lined piece of paper.

“Love. What is love? What is it really? Is it a teenage couple knowing how it feels to finally be in love but having it teared away from the moments soon due to petty arguments? Is it the visions you see of a beautiful, perfectly shaped, perfectly perfect girl and a gorgeous, sweet, strong man falling in love and finally getting their happily ever after? Of course that kind of love is only found in movies.

Love is when it hurts to not be with the person you have a passion for. When you’re together everything feels right, everything is right. When you have your first kiss and everything seemed to melt into the background and all you could see in your mind was the fireworks and you see them with every kiss that follows. When you will love them for who they are, inside and out.

Love is associated with fairy tales. The kinds when it is too perfect to be perfect. That isn’t real life, but it defiantly exits within us all.

Love is special. The kind you only thought existed in movies can exist within you and that is magical, amazing and special. It is also so much more but people take it for granted and loose hope in love.

Never lose hope in love.

Love doesn’t just exist in fairy tales. Perfect love stories happen in fairy tales but everyone can have their perfect love. Everyone can have their perfect love stories with little bits missing but it wouldn’t matter because they felt perfect. They felt comfortable.

Love can be seen when you are ready to see it. Don’t hurry love. Let love come to you. Love is beautiful and it isn’t intended to be rushed”

I gulp at my last sentence and set myself down at my desk once more, still shaking. Everyone’s eyes were on me and I didn’t like it. I just decided to look down at the desk, hoping my burning cheeks would go a normal colour. Soon the room is filled with applause. I look up, feeling my cheeks turn a brighter shade of red. I nod at everyone who was clapping and slump into my seat awaiting Mr Brett to start talking.

“Wonderful Maddison! You have really outdone yourself. Raw emotion when you were reading it. Well done!” He says, giving me one more round of applause and turning his attention to Alex, sitting next to me. “Let’s hear what you have Mr Gaskarth. Hopefully you have something” He says slumping in his own seat. I watch as Alex gets up. Lisa smiling at him all the way, knowing she helped him write it. I knew myself that if there was any emotion in what Alex was saying, it would be about her.

“Love is an emotion, devotion, art. Love is love. You can't use words to describe it. It's hard to tell people how you feel when you have just fallen in love, when you’re in love. Only you and that one special person know what it's like to feel each other’s touch. Each other’s skin on one another. Each other’s lips touching softly to share a kiss filled with sparks and butterflies. You can't see love, only feel it, mentally, emotionally.

It can feel like you’re starring in your own movie and that’s okay. As long as you feel real, your love is real. Don’t hide it. Don’t pretend it’s not there because it is and you shouldn’t be scared.

You know when you're in love because all you can think about is that one person, the one person you want to see when everything else is wrong, they are the right.

When you know, you'll know. No matter how much you try to block it out, it won't go away. Let love happen to you. It could be magical. It could be beautiful. It could be wonderful. Just go with it. Love the one you know you love and don’t be scared because love is something beautiful, not to be hidden but to be thrived upon and to be shining in the sun. Love is a wonderful thing to experience”

Once Alex was finished he sat himself down, grabbing Lisa’s dainty hand. I looked at my own thinking that the spaces between mine were where his were meant to be. But it wasn’t true and there was no use thinking it when it wasn’t going to end up true.

I didn’t bother to listen to anyone else’s. Once the bell rang I couldn’t rise from my seat fast enough. I waited for Alex at the door. We both had a free period and we usually spent it together. But today he walked in the opposite direction with Lisa. “Alex, are you not coming? It’s free period” I call after him. He walks over to me, alone.
“I have something I have to do. But I do promise as soon as I have done it I’ll come meet you in the gardens? I’ll have something to tell you anyway” I nod and he runs back to Lisa. As Alex asked I went to the gardens and waited for his arrival. I wonder what he was going to tell me.