So, Long Live Us

“Are you saying that it wasn’t special?”
“I didn’t mean that Alex! Ah god, why are you doing this now? You have a girlfriend who you told that you love! You told me you love her. We’re friends Alex. Best friends. You’ve made that clear plenty times and you were the one who said we would never bring up that kiss again, especially because we were the only ones who know”
“God Maddison, chill. I was just trying to have a joke. I didn’t think you would get so uptight about it. And yes, I do love Lisa. And yes, we are best friends but that doesn’t take away the fact that we kissed. It doesn’t take away the fact that I care about you!” I looked to Alex. “I wish I never mentioned it now”
“Me too” I said, almost a whisper. “Listen, I’m going to go home. I’ll just see you tomorrow when tour starts” I say, beginning to walk out the door.
“Who’s going to take you home?” He asks.
“I don’t know, I’ll walk or something”
“No, I’ll take you home. I’ll get Rian to drop Zack and Lisa home” I nod. I didn’t exactly want to walk home and I really could use a lift.

I met Alex outside after he spoke to Rian. “It’s all set, come on, I’m taking you home” He says. I get into the passenger seat of his car. The first few moments were awkward but I decided I was going to break the tension.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be like that. I’ve just been stressed and I don’t even know” I say.
“I know you’ve been stressed Madds, and I understand and I couldn’t be mad at you for too long anyway. Like I said, I care about you and you are one of my best friends. I just don’t want to start this tour off by arguing with you. I never want to argue with you” He says. He seemed so serious, much more serious than usual.
“Alex, I’ve made you feel bad haven’t I?” I said, placing my hand on top of his.
“No, No it’s not that” He says as he pulls up outside my house. I wasn’t leaving Alex now I knew something was up.
“Tell me” I say. He grips onto my hand. This wasn’t like Alex at all.
“I’m scared”
“Of what?”
“Going on a tour with my girlfriend”
“Why does that scare you?” I was so confused. I wasn’t going to beg him to know what was going on but I wanted to, so badly.
“Because I’m scared that it’s not going to be like a normal tour. Like I’m going to forget everyone for her. I don’t want to be with just Lisa but then again I don’t want to leave her out”
“Well, I won’t let that happen. Plus, she won’t be alone. I’ll talk to her. I’m sure no one will leave her alone anyway. I’ll make sure you know what’s going on okay?”
“You’re the best” He says as he pulls me into a hug.
“I know I am” I say softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for the ride home, Alex. Sweet dreams”

And with that I was getting out of his car and going into my house. As much as I didn’t want to talk to Lisa I knew I had to, for Alex. It seemed like everything I was doing lately was for Alex. I hate what that boy does to. I fucking hate the fact I would fall at his knees if he asked. I hated myself for wanting all this, knowing he was in love and the girl wasn’t me.

At around 1 Jack came waltzing in my room, drunk. Of course he was drunk. Jack jumped on top of me and began squishing me. “Jaaaaaaccccck! Get off me dude” I say, pushing him completely off the bed.
“Good, now you’re up we can talk”
“What is there to talk about?” I say, sitting up in my bed.
“Why did you leave me?”
“I was tired. I felt ill anyway” I say. Feeling ill was my usual excuse.
“Oh right. So Alex brought you home?”
“Yes… and the point of asking that question was?”
“I don’t know. I’m drunk”
“Come on Jack. Sleep in here for tonight. That way I can look after you. Rian’s coming for both of us at 7 because you guys have a couple of interviews to do tomorrow” Jack nods and crawls into bed.

In the morning I was going on tour with All Time Low once more but this time it would be different. Alex’s girlfriend was coming with.