Summer Heat

“Hello? Hello! Hellooo?”
“Baby!”
“Fine. Sup! This is Dan Jones, mother fuckers!”
Laughter.
“Don’t cuss in your voicemail!”
“Okay, okay! So, I can’t get to the phone right now, cause I’m probably with my gorgeous girlfriend, Ava Koehler, or I’m just too busy being awesome! Leave me a message with all your shit after the beep!”
Beeeeeeep.

Tears started to spill from my eyes for the umpteenth time. I’m surprised I even had tears left to cry. I laid my phone beside me after trying to call Dan again. I remember when we recorded that voicemail. It was from a little over a year ago. We had only been dating for about five months. He came up with the brilliant idea to make a voicemail when he was high off of his mind. It took him over twenty times before we were able to get that one. He wanted to keep it because I talked a couple times and he loved it for some reason. It brought a bittersweet smile to my face.

But that’s when the tears started to take over me once more. My body started to shake as I started to fall apart. I pulled a pillow over my face and held it there as I screamed. And screamed. And screamed some more. After I screamed until I felt like my voice would give out, I felt hands and arms wrapped themselves around me and pull me close to a chest. I gripped his shirt when I realized it was Austin, soaking his clothing as well as mine. He rubbed slow circles all over my back with one hand and running his other hand through my partially tangled hair in attempts to calm me down. A hiccup escaped my lips and caused Austin to chuckle, vibrating his chest. I couldn’t contain a giggle and soon we were both in fits of laughter. It felt good to be laughing instead of crying. I picked my head up enough to look up at his face. He made the dorkiest “derp” face ever seen and soon enough, we were both crying, but from laughing so hard.

As soon as we calmed down, I gently set my head on his chest with my ear pressed to his scar, just listening to his heart beat. “Thank you, Austin. I needed that.”

“Anytime, doll. You know that I’m here for you”

Silence crept over us as we relaxed. I closed my eyes, but opened them again when my thoughts started to disturb me.

“Austin?”

“Hmm?” I could tell that he was relaxed enough that he could fall asleep at any moment.

“What if when I go back to talk to him, Dan doesn’t want to be with me anymore? What if he never wants to get back together? I don’t know what I would do… I love him so much… He means the world to me… I can’t lose him. My life would be over. Literally. I… I want to start a family with him… But now I probably won’t be able to… I messed everything up, Austin… Help me…”

He didn’t say anything; he just held me as I ranted. And that’s what I needed. I needed to let out what I was thinking. I needed someone to listen. And I’m glad I had Austin as a best friend. I probably wouldn’t be able to make it without him.

I know I can’t make it without Dan…