Inexperienced

The consuming silence was haunting. Jared’s knuckles were white as he held on to the steering wheel. His jaw was flexed in a straight line, and his eyes were as hard as stone as he paid little to no attention to me.

I didn’t know what to say. The previous events continually replayed in my mind. Jared was leaving me? Why didn’t he tell me about this? And his father obviously didn’t approve of his and my relationship.

I shivered at the memory of Jared’s fearful eyes when his father looked ready to pounce. In all the time that I’ve gotten to know Jared, never once did he show fear. But tonight, his confident mask took a hit and I couldn’t believe the wary, deathly afraid look that swept across his face.

I sat there, nearly huddled in a ball in the passenger seat. Jared cut the engine and it took me a moment to realize we were parked outside of my house. He still didn’t look at me.

I took a deep breath and cleared my throat. Just as I was about to speak, his voice interrupted mine. “I’m so sorry, Austin. I wish you wouldn’t have had to of seen that.”

Shock crossed my face. I wasn’t counting on him saying anything at first.

“Jared, it’s fine,” I reassured him.

He turned to look at me for the first time, a glimmer of doubt in his eyes. “No, it’s not.”

“So you’re going to school next year, big deal.” I shrugged, trying to convince him. “I knew that you’d be going away, Jared. I guess it just hadn’t registered yet that it’d be so soon.”

He appraised my expression for a moment. “I don’t have to go far away.”

I shook my head before he could continue. “But you do, Jared. If this is the school for you, then I can’t hold you back from it.”

He was biting his lower lip.

“But I can’t just leave.” His voice was barely a whisper.

I unbuckled my seat belt and turned to him, inching closer, filling the space between us.

I touched his cheek with my fingers. “I’ll be here.”

He looked at me painfully. “I can’t expect you to do that.”

“But I can.” I nodded. “And I will.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head. “That’s too much to ask.”

I grabbed both sides of his face until he reopened his eyes. “No, it’s not.”

He stared at me for an immeasurable period of time. His eyes never left mine. He sighed. “Austin, it’s unfair to you.”

“No, what’s unfair is that you can’t let someone love you,” I growled, not even noticing my thoughts turning into words. My eyes grew wide, surprised at what I just said.

He looked at me, his head cocking to the side slightly. “You love me?”

I gulped. I couldn’t believe I slipped up. There was no turning back now. I gulped. “Yes.” It came out as a thick whisper.

He stared, an incomprehendable emotion brewing behind his eyes. He took my face in his hands and pulled my face to his. His lips meant mine and my heart beat went crazy. This kiss was so different than all the others. I felt fire, burning stronger than ever before in his touch.

He pulled away breathlessly. “I love you, too.” The words rang with clarity.

I couldn’t believe it. He loved me. Jared Kent loved me. Just as I love him.

“Really?” I couldn’t help but second guess his words.

“I’ve never been more positive, Austin.” His smile was glistening in the dark.

This time, I brought my lips to his, locking our mouths together feverishly. I didn’t want him to ever break our kiss.

But it did have to end, to my dismay.

“You’re parents,” Jared warned, in between kisses.

I pulled back unwillingly. “Right,” I groaned.

He unlocked the car doors so I could get out. I grabbed the handle but I didn’t like the idea of leaving. “Please,” I begged in a whisper. “Please, don’t leave yet.”

He looked at me with understanding eyes. “I guess I can climb through your window.”

I smiled triumphantly. “Please.”

“Let me just go park my car away from your house and I’ll be right there.”

I kissed him on the nose before getting out of the car. “Don’t take too long,” I said before shutting the door to his car and walking into my house.

My dad was sitting in the living room. “Have a good night, Aus?”

“Sure, dad,” I mumbled a reply. “I’m going to bed.”

“Good night,” he replied dully.

I walked upstairs and changed into a pair of sweats and a tank top. I threw my hair carelessly into a messy bun and waited impatiently for Jared to knock on my window.

I opened the window for him as soon as he was there. He hugged me tightly when he was in the room. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

I rolled my eyes. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

His face turned serious, but his eyes were still light. “I’m being serious. No one can compare.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up so that my legs curled around his waist. He walked backwards to he bed, kissing me deeply. He laid back while I laid on top of him.

“I love you,” I whispered when we broke off for a second. His lips met mine once more. I suddenly noticed where his hands were. They were slowly creeping underneath my shirt. He barely made it pass my belly button before I stopped him. “Jared,” I warned.

He withdrew his hands and threw them in the air innocently.

I eyed him. “I love you, Jared. I do. But I’m not ready for anything like that.”

He looked a little disappointed. “I understand.”

“I’m just not ready for that sort of thing,” I whispered, kissing his cheek.

He groaned. “You’re just so tempting.”

I snickered. “When I’m ready, you’ll be the first to know.”

He kissed me deeply. “That works for me.” I felt a smile on his lips.

He pulled me off of him and nestled me into his side. This revelation of our love had my mind spinning. I liked this feeling. This high. This rush that I got whenever I looked at him or whenever he looked at me. I just never thought love would be thrown my way. But here I was. No matter how inexperienced I may be, I found love.