Close Your Eyes to See

“You are no help Beth.” Edie put her head in her hands as she sat at the kitchen counter in Beth and Eric's apartment, a place that she seemed to be at more and more. Beth was in the middle of cooking dinner, homemade burritos, as Edie tried to brainstorm with her.

Beth had been spending a lot of her time in the studio, getting ready for her showing she was having next week. She was a perfectionist and wanted it to be perfect. She only had a few showings a year where as Eric had hundreds of shows a year. This was her time to show her work.

“Hey, if it was up to me – he would be getting a movie from Netflix and a carton of take out with a bow on it. You're the one that wants to go all out.”

“Come on Beth, this is the first time he had been home for his birthday in a few years. You know how pissy he is going to get if you don't do anything for him.”

This was the first time since her friendship with Eric had started that he had been home for his birthday. She knew that if no one did anything, he was going to be irritable. He would never say anything about it though, claiming that 'nothing special' had to happen for it – but it mattered to him.

“I know, I know, I know, Edie. I am not good at planning this sort of stuff. And there is just so much on my plate right now. I need you girl, Eric does deserve something special.”

Beth was the type of girl that always tried to come off as a hardass, full of sarcasm and wit – but Edie knew that she really cared about Eric and wanted his birthday to be special. Edie, however, didn't really want to try and figure out what to do either. She didn't want that responsibility, she was going to completely disappoint him.

It was the first time in a few years that Eric was going to be home with his friends and his family and Edie knew that it meant a lot to him and he didn't just want to celebrate with movies and takeout. Edie knew, however, any sort of celebration was going to require a lot of alcohol.

While Edie was trying to think up ideas in her head, John took a seat next to her at the counter, most likely waiting for a burrito. She hadn't seen John in two days since he spilt the paint all over her. Edie had been at work and whenever she came to paint a little, he was never around.

“Hey John, since I am feeding you for the next two weeks, I think it is only fair that you help Edie out with planning Eric's birthday.” Edie looked up at Beth with big eyes, wishing that she wouldn't have made that suggestion.

“Sure that sounds fair enough.” He glanced over at Edie who nodded her head at him, not making eye contact. He still didn't understand why Edie didn't like him. I mean, he understood that it took her some time to warm up to people, but it seemed like she completely hated him. And he was sure that the paint accident the other day didn't really help the situation either.

“Well, I need to go and find a gift for him today if you wanna go....” Edie drifted off, trying not to sound awkward when inviting John to do something. John perked up immediately when she said that, maybe she didn't actually hate him.

“That's sound great. Let me go and get my shoes.” He slipped off the stool and out of the kitchen, leaving the two girls alone in the kitchen once more. Edie looked up at Beth who was giving her a suggestive look, glancing at the doorway John just walked out of.

“Don't get any ideas, Beth. He has a girlfriend and fate decided to play a sick joke on me because when I woke up today and yesterday and the last twenty one years, I was Edie White.” She tried to make a joke, but in reality, she was being completely honest with Beth. She was Edie White. Just, Edie White.

“Well you guys can't leave, I am cooking dinner.” Beth pointed to the beans and rice she was in the process of cooking on the stove, an irritated look on her face.

“Honey, the domestic housewife thing is cute, but you probably won't be done for a few hours.” Edie teased, reaching for her purse across the counter. Since Eric had been back the past few weeks, Beth has gotten in to cooking dinner. No one, not even Eric, understood it.

“Hey! You've seen Eric, he is like fucking malnourished. All he does on tour is drink and party and sweat all of the calories off his boney ass body on stage. Guy has to eat.” Beth stirred the beans on the stove as John reentered the kitchen with his phone and wallet in hand.

“You ready?” He asked with a smile as Edie stood up from the stool she was sitting in and began following John out the kitchen.

“If I give you guys money, will you find a gift for Eric for me?” Beth asked as she continued to stir the food on the stove.

“You are the worst girlfriend ever.” John joked as Edie and him stopped in the kitchen doorway, watching as Beth struggled to work on dinner with so many things cooking on the stove.

“Hey, at least I can keep a relationship, O'Callaghan. I don't do gifts. I give him presents in the bedroom, i-”

“Okay we are leaving now,” Edie interrupted and began walking out the door, “have fun screwing your skeleton of a boyfriend!” The front door was shut before Beth could get in another word as John and Edie laughed in unison.

“So, whose car is least likely to break down tonight?” John asked as the two stood in the driveway in front of their cars. Both of them had chipped painted and were starting to rust, two of the worst looking cars in Arizona.

“Well, I have been avoiding my check engine light for the past two weeks....” Edie said as she scratched the back of her head.

“Mine it is then.” John whistled a tune, swinging his keys on his index finger as he unlocked the driver's side of the car and climbed in, leaning over to unlock the passenger side door for Edie. She climbed into the car, much like the night he drove her home after dinner, as he started the engine and began driving out of the apartment complex.

The two sat in silence as usual as Edie messed with the braided bracelet on her wrist. The material was wearing down from it never leaving her wrist and the color was faded and dull.

“Doesn't Eric have the same one?” John looked down at her wrist, pointing to the thin and braided bracelet tied around it. She glanced over at him and nodded with a smile,

“Its those cheesy ass friendship bracelets little kids wear. Its kind of lame we have them, but we have worn them for like a year and I just never take mine off I guess. I don't even know if he still wears his.”

It took a minute for John to respond as the question that had been floating in his mind reappeared once more.

“Can I ask you a question, Edie? I don't want you to like get weirded out or offended though.” John gripped the wheel as he took the entrance to the freeway towards the mall. He had had this question on his mind for a while not, and just needed to know.

“Umm yeah, I guess.” Her palms began to sweat wondering what exactly was on John's mind. She had no idea what he was thinking and honestly hoped he didn't say anything that involved her distance towards him.

“Do you have, like, feelings for Halvo? Like feelings more than friends?” John said it carefully, feeling like he was stepping on egg shells as he asked the question. But once Edie began laughing hysterically in the seat next to him, he knew it was a dumb question.

“No, no, no. Eric is like my brother. I could never have feelings for him more than that! Besides, he has Beth. She could kick my ass in a second.”

“Mine too.”

“I guess,” Edie began, “me and Eric became really close because he was one of the first people I have becoming close with in a long time. I am not good at like talking to people or taking time to get to know them and Eric like pushed me to be friends with him. He basically held me hostage.”

Edie didn't know why she was being so talkative with John or why she was telling him about how her and Eric became friends, but John didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, he liked it a lot.

John was used to having every girl in this town figured out. Their heads were full of superficial things and they said anything that would please a man. Edie wasn't like that – it was refreshing. He never knew what she was going to say or how she was going to act, she was always surprising him.

“How did you become friends with Eric?” When she was with John, talking about Eric seemed to be the one subject where they bonded the most – she found out a lot about John from it. As soon as she asked the question, John's lips automatically cracked into a smile.

“I met him freshman year of high school. We had gym together and he was seriously the most nonathletic person I had ever seen.”

“Good to see that nothing has changed.” Edie commented making both of them laugh together. Eric can't even hit a baseball.

“Well anyway, he would also get picked last in gym and I got picked first because I was on the baseball team and such. One day, I was in change of picking people in class and I chose Eric first because I felt sorry for him and the rest is history.”

“He probably thought he was so cool that day.”

“The sad part is, when he asked me why I picked him first – I didn't have the courage to tell him that I felt bad because he sucked at sports. So I lied and said that I thought he had potential and no one could see it.”

Edie instantly bursted out laughing at the thought of how stoked Eric must have been when all of this happened to him.

“So where exactly were going to in the mall?” John had no idea when he was at the mall last and he honestly, didn't want to go. He had no idea what to get for Eric for his birthday, maybe some alcohol or something. He was just going because Edie had invited him.

“I need to go to the TicketMaster kiosk in that Fred Meyer or whatever.” Edie began to pick the nail polish off her nails as John took the freeway exit towards the shopping center.

“TicketMaster, huh? What show?”

“Wilco is coming to town in a couple of weeks, its his favorite-”

“No fucking way! I love them. Dude, Eric is going to have such a good time.” He pulled into the parking lot with a bright smile on his face, Eric was going to love that gift – Edie was a genius.

“What were you thinking of getting him?” Edie asked as John pulled into a parking spot, cutting the engine.

“I honestly have no fucking idea. I couldn't tell you the last time I bought someone a birthday present. I am really bad with that stuff.” The two of them got out of the truck in unison and walked side by side into the store, heading for the music section that had a TicketMaster machine.

“You know Edie, there is such a thing called the Internet where you can buy tickets instead of driving to this machine.” She looked up at John for a moment when skeptical eyes before returning to the screen, searching for the tickets.

“I don't like printing tickets out at home. Plus, I want to make sure they get here in time for his birthday. TicketMaster likes to fuck it up.” Her eyes lit up when she found the tickets and clicked to the screen before pausing,

“Do you want to go to the show?” John's eyes went wide for a second, not believing that he was actually getting invited. In all honesty, he wanted to go to the show – but he didn't want to ruin Edie's gift to Eric.

“Are you sure?”

“Well Eric did say that he wanted to be able to hang out as a trio and I figured that that would be a good gift for him.” She shrugged and turned back to the screen, pressing for three tickets and then began to search through her purse for her credit card. That's when John took the opportunity to cut Edie off from the machine quickly and slid his card through the reader.

“John! You don't have to pay for the tickets.” She tried to move him out of the way with her credit card in hand, but John just left and proceeded to type in his pin number.

“Now, what kind of gentleman would I be if I just let a girl pay for me? It's no big deal really.” Edie tried to keep her cool, but she was honestly getting kind of irritated with him.

“At least let me pay you back.” She got out her wallet and pulled out thirty dollars and tried to hand it to him, but he wouldn't take it.

“Seriously, its fine Edie. You are going to have to help me find a gift for Eric though because I have no idea.” The tickets were printed and came out of the slot at the bottom of the machine. Edie reached down and took them before heading back to the car without saying a word.

John was confused, girls were normally thrilled when he paid for him. They expected him to pay for everything. John was just trying to be nice. Maybe he went too far? It was Edie's gift to Eric after all.

As they got back into the car, Edie kept her eyes on the road – not wanting to say anything to John. She wasn't mad, she was just frustrated. She didn't like people paying for her, she wanted to be independent – free of everyone. People normally didn't pay for her, but hey – her best friend was Eric Halvorsen. He was one cheap son of a bitch sometimes.

John gripped the steering wheel, the tension in the car becoming too much to handle. He didn't mean to make Edie mad, he was just trying to be a gentleman.

“Like Edie, I'm sorry if I upset you back there, I-”

“No John, its fine, I overreacted. You were just trying to be nice.” Edie sighed in surrender, realizing that she was making the situation bigger than it had to be.

“I kind of do that a lot, I do stuff without thinking.” John tried to apologize more, feeling like it was the right thing to do.

“Its my common nature to want to be an independent person, thanks to my parents.” Edie shrugged and looked out the window, wishing that she had a humble family instead of one surrounded by wealthy.

“Didn't you say that they were insanely wealthy?” John remembered the night that Edie came home and was decked out in expensive clothes and jewelry with a miserable look on her face.

“They are which is the problem. I mean, I don't want to sound like some ungrateful girl, but everyone in my family and in the world thinks that they are entitled to everything and that it will all just get handed to him. Once I graduated high school and went to college, I basically became financially independent from my parents. I don't want their money. I think when I realized that, that was in I wanted to pay for everything myself and make my own money. I am just not used to having people pay for me is all.”

John took in Edie's long explanation, learning more about her than he thought he would that day. Her reasoning with her family made sense and John got the hunch that she didn't like her family at all.

“Well then, Edie White, I am going to become a cheap fucker like Eric then. Just for you.” John joked causing Edie to crack a smile, the tension in the car finally leaving.

He had never heard of a girl who didn't want guys to pay for things. When John was with Ali, he had to pay for almost everything. He didn't mind it for the most part, but sometimes, it got annoying and excessive.

“I hope those burritos are good tonight, I am starving.” John sighed, his stomach growling from lack of food. It was getting late, hopefully Beth would be done cooking and Eric would be home when they got back.

“Well, Beth is the talented one in the relationship, so it should be fine.” John cracked a smile at the joke again, enjoying the humor that leaves Edie's mouth. It was sarcastic and dry – his favorite kind. He could easily get used to joking around with her as the days continued.