Close Your Eyes to See

“Beth is going to kill me.” Edie glanced down at her phone and realized she had an hour to ditch this dinner and get across town to Beth's showcase. Her head would be on a stick if she was late. Beth had been working for weeks on this and it was finally here and everyone was going to be there.

Beth would play it off like she was pissed if Edie was late or missed it, but she especially knew Beth would be hurt by it and didn't want to miss it. Edie sat at her seat and watched as her parents talked with William's parents, William's hand still trying to inch up her thigh every so often while she smacked away immediately every time.

“Touch me again and your fingers will be gone.” She mumbled towards William who smirked at her and took another bite of food from his plate, the empty threat amusing him.

William was the boy who played tennis and golf at the private sports club that costs hundreds of dollars every month. He was ranked number one in his high school class and is now going to school to study law. His wardrobe consisted of printed sweaters and collared shirts – he would never be caught dead in anything less. His hair was always slicked back, not a single hair out of place, his teeth bleached to the whitest shade they could be. Most girls drooled over him, he was the perfect catch. There wasn't a single flaw with him. Except for the fact he was a huge scumbag.

Underneath all that hair gel was a guy who liked the play beer pong and party with his college friends, trying to get into as many girls' pants as possible. His charm and attitude, and constant filling of girls' cups, is what got him all of the girls he's been with.

He was only after Edie to get on her good side with her dad, he wanted to work at his law office and give in a good word to schools. That is all she was to him, not that she would ever give him the light of day if he actually liked her. William made her skin crawl and she felt the need to vomit every time he touched her.

“Is that a promise that you will touch me?” He whispered in her ear, causing her stomach to stir before William's mom spoke up.

“So Edie, have you found the dress you will be wearing to the charity event? I heard you and Jean went to a few shops the other day.” She hated how elegantly the woman in his society talked. It was slow and calm, with the tone that they were better than you. It always ground Edie's gears.

“We haven't found the dress yet, I am waiting to see what my date is going to wear.” Edie was supposed to match her date and she knew Eric was going to put the whole thing together last minute which means her dress would be last minute as well.

“I am wearing a black tux and red bow tie, E.” For some reason, William felt the need to call her 'E' like it was some nickname to get her to warm up to her.

“Actually, I am going with my friend Eric.” She watched from across the table as her mom tried not to choke on her wine at what her daughter said, the sentence and harshness not being the 'appropriate etiquette for a girl her age'.

“Well, that hasn't been officially decided.” Her mom stated calmly while using her eyes to scold her daughter for being 'rude' to William, a guy her mom and all moms adored. Edie was tired of her mom lying to cover up the life her daughter was living. She was tired of sitting at this table with these people and wanted to get to Beth's art show.

“I think I am going to go and use the restroom.” She threw her cloth napkin down on the table and rose from her seat, walking down the hallway of William's house to the bathroom. She needed to breathe for a moment. She glanced at herself in the mirror and knew she didn't have time to go home and throw on something more casual before going to the showcase.

Her hair was curled in little ringlets as a cherry red dress hugged her body, a nude colored lace peter pan collar sitting by her collar bones. She wore nude heels that made her look tall, but managed to hurt her feet more than anything in the world.

While sitting at the dinner table night, listening to small talk about more charity events, nose jobs and sports results, Edie couldn't help but wish she was back at the O'Callaghans for hot dogs. Everything was so calm and not stressful. It didn't matter what she wore or how she acted, she was accepted and felt comfortable.

She could eat her hot dog however she wanted, her mom wasn't watching her to make sure she was eating like a lady. She could get seconds and drink a beer and just relax in the sunshine and talk about whatever she wanted. It felt like the greatest and most refreshing thing ever.

Edie glanced at her phone and knew she needed to get out of the house quick if she was going to make it in time for Beth's show. She opened the bathroom door and shut off the light, making it three steps down the dimly lit hall before running into William.

“Come on E, I know you wanna go to the charity event with me.” He flashed her bleached white teeth and blocked Edie from going farther down the hallway.

“I would rather go with someone who isn't a complete perv for your information.” She tried to move past him, but he stepped to the side once more, blocking her view.

“I am not a perv, Edith. I just know what I want. I always get it too.”

“That's a great expectation to live by, I will remember that later. Now can you please move?” She tried not to show her frustration and resisted the urge to slap him across the face like he deserved. He was so full of himself.

“Oh come on, don't get all worked up. I was just kidding. Go to the charity event with me.”

“No, William.” He scuffed at Edie's response and took a step back, almost hurt by her words. His guy obviously needed to get used to rejection.

“You know, a lot of girls would be happy to go out on a date with me. You should feel honored.” His voice was hushed so his parents didn't hear. Edie crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, she wanted him to move so she could leave and never talk to him again.

“You are just using me to get to my dad, don't think I am that blind or stupid.” William reached for her hand, but she pushed his away – not wanting his slimy hands to touch her.

“I don't know why you are being so difficult, Edie. Its not like you will ever get an actual date to the event anyway.” He snapped at her, his words hitting her to the core. She was disgusted by this guy.

“Neither will you if you keep being a complete prick.” She fought back, using her words to mask the pain she was feeling in her chest. William smiled at her gingerly, letting out a half-hearted laugh.

“You see, the prick can get the date. Now maybe if you lost a few pounds you could get one too.” The words cut so deep into Edie's soul that tears automatically brimmed her eyes. She shoved him out of the way and marked down the hallway in her heels, reaching for her purse by the door and leaving the house as fast as possible.

“Edith, where are you going?!” She heard her mother shouting from the dining room as the front door closed behind her. As soon as she made it to her car, she took her heels off and threw them into the backseat, letting the tears spilled over.

More and more, she was feeling bad about herself. The words William was saying were all true and the feeling she had been swallowing were coming back up. He was right. She was never going to get a guy to like her if she looked the way she did. She had to take her own damn best friend to an event because she couldn't get a real date. It was sad and pathetic.

Edie peeled out of the driveway as fast as she could, the tears flowing down her cheek as she drove down the road. She already knew she was going to be late to Beth's event and at this point, she didn't even care.

----------

“Babe, we are going to be late!” John was sitting on the couch in his apartment as Aly moved around the apartment at a turtle's pace. Beth's event was happening tonight and he couldn't be late. The fact that Aly arrived on the apartment doorstep, days before she was supposed to return home definitely took John by surprise. He didn't know why, but he wasn't as happy as he normally was to see her. He felt so free with her being gone and now that she was back, it was like he was tied down again.

“Who cares if we are late? I don't even know why I have to come.” She walked out from their bedroom, sticking stud earrings into the holes in her lobes. John pinched the bridge of his nose as he stood from the couch, not wanting to argue with Aly at the moment.

“I want you to support my friends okay. I would go to one of these if it was your friend.” Sometimes, John thought Aly had no ounce of compassion in her body. It drove John insane.

His mom always taught him to be there for people and to support them, never judge who they are or where they came from. It was sometimes hard for him to believe that there were people in the world that didn't believe that.

“Fine, whatever. Let's go then.” She rolled her eyes and heading out the apartment door for the car, not bothering to wait for John to go out with her.

“Fuck.” He mumbled to himself before he reached for his phone off the coffee table and walked out the door, hoping that this night would be over soon enough.

The two managed to get there about ten minutes late, but got there nonetheless. The car ride was silent with awkward tension the whole time, Aly's sulkiness filling the entire car as soon as John began driving.

He didn't understand her sometimes. He always went to her events and always supported her and her friends, why couldn't she do the same? Sometimes, he found himself wondering why he was even with Aly – she lacked so much compassion and selflessness.

“Oh god, what is she wearing now?” Aly muttered to John as the two of them walked into the art gallery, his eyes instantly going towards Edie who was across the room. A smile instantly formed on his lips and for a moment, he forgot that he was even angry with his girlfriend.

“Wanna try to not be a bitch tonight?” He walked away from Aly, leaving her to stand alone at the entrance, heading straight for Edie who was focused on a huge black and white photograph on one of the walls. Aly was probably going to complain and ask to leave in about ten minutes.

He watched her as she glanced at the artwork, almost getting lost in the image in front of her. She stood in high nude heels, a red dress fitted on her frame. She definitely looked dressed up, but beautiful.

“I didn't know we had to dress up for this.” He came up behind her, his raspy voice taking her by surprise as she took her eyes off of the portrait and turned around to see John standing there. She looked down at what she was wearing before rolling her eyes,

“I had a family dinner thing tonight and didn't have time to change. Beth would have killed me if I was late so I am suffering in these heels for her.” Edie was glad John was finally here. Eric and Beth were off mingling with the others who occupied the art gallery, leaving Edie completely on her own. After how dinner had gone, she just wanted to get her mind off of things.

“Looks like Aly is back, huh?” The two of them turned to look at Aly who was comfortably seated in one of the chairs in the corner of the room, the light from her cell phone lighting up her face. Edie could hear John scuff before turning to look at her once more,

“Yeah, I don't know why I even asked her to come. She was bitching about it all night.”

“Not much of an art geek, huh?”

“More like not much of a supportive person.” Edie could see the almost disappointment in his eyes as he talked about his girlfriend, appearing almost ashamed to be with a girl who acted that way. Edie shrugged at John's remark before returning to look at the painting.

“This is Ruth's right?” John knew the scenery. The picture was in a deep black and white format, people whizzing by in a blur in the aisle way as everything else in the background was still. You could see the booths, the counter, everything. He walked closer to the image as his eyes caught something in the background.

“Is that you?” He could make out Edie in the background, sitting alone in the booth with a mug of coffee sitting in front of her as she worked away on what he guessed was one of her drawings. He could see Edie's stance shift from the corner of his eye.

“Yeah, it is. I really hate getting my picture taken, but Beth was so persistent. That's why I have been sitting here for so long. I didn't know this even existed and I have been trying to figure out what day it was from, but I can't place my finger on it.”

Edie rarely ever had her photo taken, the last thing she wanted to do was see herself after the camera added another ten pounds, she avoided the camera at all costs. Beth had always tried to get her to be one of her subjects and every time she asked, Edie denied.

“You look perfect.” John mumbled slightly as he continued to stare at the painting. She looked so in her element and so peaceful, a shimmer in her eye as she sat there with her pencil in hand. Edie's face turned a deep red as she wrapped her arms across her chest.

“Its okay, John. You don't have to lie, Beth isn't in ear shot right now.” Edie hated liars especially when it came to her – it made her feel even worse about herself.

“I am being serious, Edie. You look so peaceful in this. You look so into what you are drawing that nothing can interrupt you. I can't really explain it...” John trailed off, not sure how to make his thoughts sound correct. He glanced at Edie who looked uncomfortable as she chewed on her lip.

“You don't take compliments very well, do you?” Edie shook her head and gave him a small smile to hide the uncomfortableness she was feeling. She wanted to tell him to stop lying and be honest, that she couldn't handle having liars in her life who only said things to make her feel better about herself, it was going to work.

Her mind clouded back to what William said earlier and she instantly felt herself hating everything about her more and more and she didn't like it. It was something she couldn't seem to ever stop. William's voice echoed in her head and soon tears were in her eyes and she tried to blink them away before John noticed.

“Hey are you okay, Ed-”

“Look who decided to finally show up?” He could hear Beth behind him and his concentration was lost when she came up and stood beside him. He glanced at Edie once more and noticed the water in her eyes were gone and she had on a smile. He could have sworn he saw tears.

“Well you know, I had someone with me.” John shoved his hands in his pocket and nodded his head towards Aly who was still sitting on her phone across the room.

“Ahh you brought the bitch with you tonight. I thought she was still going for the next few days.”

“I thought so too, but you know.” John didn't understand why he was talking so badly about his girlfriend. Had he really lost interest since she had been gone. He looked at Edie who was staring around the room at all of the different pieces of art, completely oblivious to what him and Beth were saying to each other.

“But I gotta say Beth, you have some talent.” John added, knowing the compliment was bound to boost Beth's ego a little bit.

“Oh honey, you ain't seen nothing yet.” Beth waved him towards another portion of the gallery to look at and John knew he was going to be here for a while.

“Hey, you okay?” He nudged Edie in the arm softly as the two walked side by side behind Beth who was eager to show the two of them another part of her collection.

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be?” She lied straight through her teeth, the subject on John's mind not exactly being the best thing to talk about at the moment. She tried so hard to put William's comment to rest, but she couldn't seem to do it. It echoed over and over in her head.

'Now maybe if you lost a few pounds you could get one too. Now maybe if you lost a few pounds you could get one too.Now maybe if you lost a few pounds you could get one too.'

Maybe if Edie lost a few pounds, she wouldn't feel so alone all the time. Maybe if she lost a few pounds, John would actually want to be with her.