Close Your Eyes to See

“Here, Ed.” She took the box of tissues from Eric and dabbed her eyes that had tears falling from them slowly. She had hoped that Eric and Gabe would be out at the party for a while longer so they didn't have to see what a mess she was.

It was supposed to be a good night, her brother was finally home for a few weeks and surprised her at the party. She wasn't expecting to see him and for a while, all of her worries of John and the kiss went away as she listened to him talk about how much he loved London.

But, of course, all that had to be ruined by a drunken John O'Callaghan. His words made her feel terrible about herself and she didn't know why, she knew that they were true. There was a part of her that had hoped John would never say anything like that to her, but she was wrong.

“What happened Edie?” Gabe and Eric were surrounding her on the couch, the questions regarding her crying being brought up every few seconds.

Edie didn't want to talk about it. If she told the boys what John said to her, Eric was going to beat the shit out of her, as was Gabe. Plus, then she would tell them about the kiss and Eric was going to get even more mad – she wasn't going to start another conflict when it came to their friendship.

She just needed to try it out, the pain in her heart becoming too much. She felt vulnerable and weak, just terrible. She wanted to be perfect for someone, she wanted to be loved. But it must have been too much to ask for.

She shook her head once more at the question and dabbed her face, hoping the slow flow of tears would subside soon so she could go to bed in peace. Eric rubbed her back for comfort as he did he best to get her to talk, but it hadn't worked at this point.

“Did someone do something at the party?” Gabe asked, knowing that Edie had stormed out of the party way earlier than she normally would have.

“Yeah, do I need to beat the crap out of some guy? Or even a chick?” Eric always tried to add humor into any situation, but little did he knew that Edie's tears were the product of his best friend's harsh words.

“I am just tired guys, can we talk about it tomorrow? Besides, Beth is probably wondering where you are.” She wiped the last of her tears and slowly began to rise from the couch, the weight of the world making her shoulders heavy. She just wanted to sleep and get John's voice out of her head, it was becoming too much.

“Are you sure Edie? We are hear for you if you wanna talk.” Gabe said, hating seeing her sister so sad. He rarely saw her cry and seeing her in this state ripped him apart inside.

Eric had noticed Edie had been acting strange the past week or so. Since he had been home and they had been hanging out more with other people, he noticed a change in her. She was, almost, happy at some points. She was smiling and there was a little bit of gleam in her eyes, but these past few days, she has gone downhill. He wanted to know why, he wanted to know why his friend was so upset and what he could do to fix it.

Edie gave a small smile and kissed both of the guys by her on the cheek before making her way towards her bedroom,

“I'll be fine guys. I'll see you tomorrow.” She whispered quietly as she shut her bedroom door and leaned against it, letting out a big sigh. She knew Gabe and Eric were coming up with conspiracies in the living room – she would tell them at some point.

She stripped out of her shirt and skirt and threw on an oversized tshirt before crawling into her bed and letting the blankets be her shield from the world.

She hated everything. At this point, she didn't care how negative she was being. She hated where her life was going and was tired of being made fun of because of how she looked. She was thankful Gabe and Eric were there for her tonight because it made her feel a little more loved than normal, but things still weren't going to her way.

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She watched as her phone continued to light up – the screen changing from reading 'Eric' to 'John'. She didn't reach for it as she laid in her bed, the afternoon sun coming in from her curtains slightly. She knew two things – Eric was worried about her and John was getting his memory back on what happened the night before.

“Come here, Harley.” Edie snuggled the cat closer to her chest, wondering how long she could lay in her bed before someone busted down her front door. She was expected to make an appearance at Amber's birthday party, but the more the day dragged on – the less she wanted to go. Her and John weren't great friends so there was a definite possibility he wasn't going to be there. Plus, Edie had been so busy with everything going on in her life that she had hardly seen Amber at all.

Although Amber can be a handful sometimes, she was big on birthday and Edie would rather not get the rather of Amber when she finds out she didn't show up. Maybe tonight, she could finally let loose and drink all of her troubles away. She didn't care anymore.

John, on the other hand, was in the same boat as Edie when his eyes woke and met with the blue sheets of his bed. He could tell by the warm temperature in the room that the afternoon Arizona sun was in the sky, the alcohol he consumed the night before taking toll on his body.

Things from last night were a complete and utter blur. He didn't even remember how he had gotten home. He just remember being mad about his plummeting relationship with Aly and used the alcohol to take away his troubles.

He reached for his nearly dead cell phone that laid thrown on the messy comforter next to him, unlocking it and quickly searching for Eric's number – he was always there to explain to him the night when John was too gone to remember it himself.

“Are you finally emerging from the cave?” John smirked slightly, the left side of his face still snuggled in the warm pillow as he heard his friend's voice on the other end.

“Barely, what the fuck happened last night dude? I can barely remember how I got home.”

“Beth ended up taking you home, I was with Edie.” The tone of his friend's voice had changed and the way he said her name left a bad taste in John's mouth. He rose slightly from his position on the bed, alert filling his half naked body slightly.

“Did something happen?” The sigh that left Eric's mouth radiated through the receiver of John's phone and he knew that something wasn't right.

“During the party last night, she just ran off and I went back to the apartment and she was a mess, a fucking mess. And I couldn't get her to talk to me and it was just bad. She wouldn't stop crying – I've never seen her like that before. Not in a really long time. I don't really know what to do. I want to go over and see her today, but she won't answer her phone.”

John wasn't sure if it was the alcohol in his system, but his vision began to spin as he slowly began to recollect his actions from the previous night. He remembered seeing Edie there and they avoided each other's stares. He remembered the guy she was with. He tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen. And then he started stumbling around and following her towards the kitchen.

“Eric, I am going to call you back.” John rushed up from the bed and ran into the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time as he spilt the contents of his stomach out at the memory of what he said to Edie.

His head began to pound even more as he laid back against the wall and brought his head to his hands. He had fucked up and he didn't know how he was going to fix it.

“Fuck.” John pulled at his hair, can't believing what he had said to her. He could see the hurt in her eyes, the tears. He had realized the magnitude of what he had done because he was so gone from the alcohol – he didn't even realize what he was saying.

He almost threw up again when he remembered what Eric had said on the phone – she had been crying. She had been crying because of him. It all made him feel even worse. He cared so deeply for his girl and there he was, making her feel so bad about everything.

Over the past years, John had the routine down. He knew how to flatter a girl and what to say to make her happy. He knew what to buy them for birthdays and what jokes to make. John knew the places to take them on the first date and things to never say to a girl. What he said to Edie last night, was on that last. A guy should never EVER comment on a girls weight no matter what the circumstance.

He had never been this way with a girl before. He had never caused things to be in shambles, not knowing what to say or how to act when he was around someone. Everything used to come so easily to John, but with Edie, everything was new which scared him. Things were so different, even when he tried to say something right, it all turned out wrong.

John rose from his spot on the dirty bathroom floor and stumbled his body back over to the bed, picking up his phone and dialing Edie's number. He knew she wouldn't answer, but he was going to keep calling and leaving a voicemail until she decided to answer and finally listen to him.

“Hey Edie, its John. I know you don't want to talk to me and I don't blame you. What I said last night, shit, I don't even know how to apologize for it. I was drunk and I know that isn't an excuse, but believe when I say that I didn't mean it. I know you are hurt and I am a fucking asshole, but-” the voicemail machine cut him off and out of frustration, John threw his phone across the room and dropped to the ground, his back resting against the side of the piled up mattresses on his bed.

He glanced at his car keys that were taunting him from his nightstand and contemplated banging on Edie's apartment until she agreed to talk to him, but he knew it was no use. The apartment was dead silent, showing that Aly definitely wasn't around – another thing that he needed to figure out and fix. Everything John has known and done was a fucking lie.

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“Have you seen Aly around here tonight?” John drank from his cup slowly, pacing himself for the night as he asked Jared if he ahd seen his girlfriend anywhere. The party was at the height of the night and he was hoping that Aly would show so maybe he could actually fix something with her.

“Nope, I haven't seen here around. I figured you would know where she is.” John shook his head at him, telling me he didn't want to talk about why he had no idea where she was. The music tonight was too loud, there were too many people crammed into one area and the drinks were weak – he didn't want to be here.

John reached into his pocket once more and checked his phone to see no messages from Aly. He watched as Jared wrapped his arm around Tessa, the two of them looking so happy. John was fucking pathetic.

“Have you seen Aly around, Tessa?”

“I saw her earlier with some friends, I don't really know if she is still around.” The curious look painted on her face tipped John that off she too was wondering why John didn't know where his girlfriend was. John nodded his head and with his empty cup in hand, he began searching around the party for her. He needed to either ends things with her or make them work – he didn't know which.

Here he had, built a life with someone over the past few months. He had an apartment with the girl for crying out loud. He wanted this to work, but a part of him knew it wouldn't. All of his friends were finding girls and settling down, why couldn't here? Why couldn't he be the guy to have the girl and the good life.

As he made is way through a sea of people and out towards the back patio, he finally connected eyes with Aly from afar. She was sitting at a table with her friends, taking shots occasionally and laughing nonstop. She was, however, seated comfortably on a stranger's lap – his bleached blonde hair making his eyes hurt.

He chuckled to himself, half expected to see something like this. But it sure didn't hurt any less. He walked towards the table where she was at, not knowing if he was full of anger or sadness. Once Aly realized he was coming her way, her eyes weren't slightly wide and her mouth was ajar.

“Let's talk Aly.” John was going to try and stay level headed abut this whole thing, but he sure as hell was hurt. A buzzed smirk appeared on Aly's lips as she hopped off the lap of the strange boy and followed John to the secluded corner of the patio. They both stood, staring at each other with wide eyes. John felt like she hadn't seen the girl in ages when it had only been a few days.

“I don't really have much to say John.” Her voice was full of attitude, a defense strategy that he was familiar with. It was true, there was hardly anything left to be said. He stepped back and rolled his eyes, knowing this wasn't going to be easy.

“Where have you been the past few days?”

“Staying at Courtney's and stuff. I just don't want to be around the apartment much anymore.” That one stung and John could feel it. Aly and him always had their differences, but he thought that there was a chance they could make this work. Opposites attract right?

“John, you've changed. Since you've gotten home and been hanging out with Eric and Beth and that one girl all the time, things haven't been the same. I don't want to sit and fucking fight with you over every little thing and then you are fucking gone for months John, things aren't the same. I think we should break up.”

The things she was saying were true, even though they were bitchy. He watched as her stance changed from defensive to incredibly tense.

“Her name is Edie.” That is all John could fathom to say as he watched his girlfriend for the past few months slowly slip from his fingers.

“I tell you I am breaking up with you and all you can say is that the fat girl's name is EDIE!” Aly shouted over the loud music causing the people on the patio to stare.

“Don't fucking call her that.” John spat at Aly, fed up with her hostility towards Edie. He was tired of everyone trying to tear her down when she was the must pure human being he had ever known.

Aly's face was full of disbelief as her jaw dropped open and she stared at John with complete and utter confusion. She knew where his real priorities were. She had known for a long time.

“I'll start getting my stuff tomorrow. Have fun with the loser.” She scuffed at the boy in front of her and turned on her heels, returning to her table of friends with John blinked slowly and tried to comprehend what had just happened.

His relationship with Aly was out the door in less than a minute. Everything. Just done with. He couldn't even believe it. Soon his apartment was going to be empty and he was going to be sleeping alone.

He looked down at his feet as he made his way back into the party, feeling even shittier than before. Everyone around him was full of alcohol and chatter, the noise in the party making his head spin even more. He wanted to go home and sleep alone in his bed.

Where was John heading now? He had lost his girlfriend and hadn't talked to the girl he hurt in a few days. He could potentially lose his best friend and was now faced with living alone in an empty apartment or finding a new place to stay.

As he made his way towards the front door, something caught his eye that made him snap out of his thoughts and take a step backward. He watched slowly at Edie stumbled up the stairs, clearly allowing the alcohol to take over her body. She could barely make it up the stairs on her own. He looked around the party, Eric and Beth no where in sight and no one paying attention to her as she slowly spilled her drink with each step she took.

“Shit.”