Gunslinger

Getting on that damned bus was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Sitting down in that seat felt like sitting down to an electric chair after being on death row for years. I held back tears as the bus starting moving. I figured I would get out at the last stop the bus made that night, knowing it would be the farthest away from my town. Where that was going to be, I didn’t know. I didn’t care either.
The whole ride was filled with thoughts of what I would do once I got to where I was going. I knew I would probably never truly be happy because I would be alone all the time. The day slowly turned to night as I looked out the window. I decided that it was getting boring sitting there and doing nothing so I put on my headphones and put on The Neighbourhood. They were what I listened to when I was thinking too much. I focused on the music and not on the thoughts that clouded my mind. As I listened, a thought of Brian invaded my mind.
I knew he would try to call me but would fail, considering the fact that I left my phone back at the apartment for exactly that reason. No one could track me or try to get a hold of me. I was unreachable and that’s how I wanted it to be. I felt sorry for Brian. I enjoyed our time together and I would miss him and he would most likely miss me. He would be confused as to why he couldn’t reach me, but would eventually learn of my disappearance from Scar.
I told myself he would get over it. He would be busy with the band and his memories of me would slowly fade over time. Everyone would move on from me. As I told myself this, there were doubts that appeared in the back of my mind.
The bus came to a stop and the driver warned his passengers that this would be the last stop of the night. I grabbed my bag and walked of onto the sidewalk. I was in Nevada. I’d never been outside of California so I was excited to see more of America. I tried to find the bright side of my situation and this was one of them.
Lying in the bed of the motel room that I had got for the night, I tried to map out where I was going to go in my head. I decided to go to Colorado and try to get myself a job there. Of course I would have to dye my hair and use one of the fake ID’s which I had received when I was on a mission. From now on, my name would be Anastasia but, I would go by Ana.
I decided that I would bleach my hair the next day. I might even cut it. Right now, my hair was more than halfway down my back and I would be way too recognizable if I kept it that length. I decided to cut it to my shoulders. It would definitely be a change. I also decided I should start wearing makeup which I usually only did on special occasions. All this would make me almost totally unrecognizable.
I would have to slowly make my way through Utah and into Colorado. No one would expect me to stay so close to home. I had always been the type of person to take things to the extreme so, staying this close would throw people off. I didn’t want anybody to find me so I had to be as unpredictable as possible.
I would try to get a job in fast food because Scar knew that I hated normal jobs. She definitely would not expect me to work somewhere like McDonalds or Burger King so that was what I planned to do. I would also live a very secluded life. I would not try to make any friends as I would be putting them into the same danger that I did with Scarlett. I would be a boring life but, I was okay with that. I knew what I was doing was for the best and that I couldn’t be selfish. My friends’ safety was ten times more important than my happiness.
As I fell asleep in that hotel bed, I started to miss mine. You take for granted everything you have until it’s gone. My sleep was dreamless and dull and I worried it was a reflection of my future.