Two Way Street

I turned over in my bed for what seemed like the five millionth time. My flat around me was completely quiet, as Zayn and Niall had actually gone back to their places for the night. Which meant that I was completely alone, my thoughts my only company.

And my thoughts fucking sucked. I just kept stressing and worrying about Mara, what I’d done to her inadvertently, how much she detested me because of it. It just all disgusted me to my core.

And, as much as I hated to admit it, I was actually a bit pissed off at her. Why was it that she couldn’t remove herself from her state of mind and look at things from my point of view? If I was able to do that, then she should have been able to do it ten-fold. After all, weren’t girls supposed to be the ones that were in touch with their emotions and empathy and all that shit?

Groaning, I threw my blanket off me and sat on the side of my bed, resting my elbows on my knees and burying my face in my hands, my fingers grasping my hair forcefully.

After a minute of venting a bit of my frustration, I got to my feet and put on some clothes that were presentable for public.

I knew as I was walking down the street that I shouldn’t have been doing what I was. The fans of the band knew me as the goody-two-shoes, Daddy Direction, because I didn’t drink. I couldn’t drink because of the fact I had only one kidney.

That was what I thought when I first started saying it, anyway. But Louis did some research behind my back and found out that it wasn’t true; I could drink just as much as any other guy could. Granted, I’d pee a lot more than other people, but that was just a small side effect.

But when I was on my way to my destination, my reputation flew from my mind. Public image meant nothing to me anymore. I only wanted one thing: to get my mind of Mara before I lost my sanity completely.

I threw open the door of the pub and stepped inside. People all around me were talking and laughing, different drinks in their hands. On my left, a couple of girls were getting hit on by one drunk-out-of-his-mind guy. I could hear him slurring, even though I was a good fifteen feet away, and there was tons of other noises to counteract it.

I planted my butt on a stool and grabbed onto the counter to keep myself from swiveling around and making a fool of myself.

“Can I help you?” the bartender asked with a friendly smile. She was cute with her black hair, light brown eyes, and absolutely perfect teeth.

I asked for the beer I knew Louis liked best and waited while she went to retrieve it. My fingers drummed a rhythm on the top of the wooden counter, almost as if they had a mind of their own.

“Here you go, love,” the bartender granted as she came back. She slid the bottle toward me with another smile.

“Thanks,” I responded, but she was already down the other end, helping a guy who was getting drinks for his large friend group.

As I sipped my beer, waiting for the alcohol to take effect, I stared around the room in front of me, just people-watching. It occurred to me that I looked just like the creepy old men in horror movies that were stalking prey (without the old, of course), but it didn’t matter.

The girls I had noticed getting hit on by the guy when I walked in were starting to look irritated, one of them speaking through clenched teeth. The look in the other’s eyes were just like the fire I saw in Mara’s when we first met: mocking, on edge, ready to attack at a moment’s notice.

I ripped my eyes away from the scene and took another gulp from my beer bottle. Okay, so that wasn’t the scene I needed to get my mind of her.

For a while longer, I gazed around the room, drinking beer after beer, waiting for the alcohol to do what Louis promised it would when I was stressed out before. It was supposed to make me forget all my normal behaviors, make me loosen up, keep me from worrying.

I didn’t know if I had a high alcohol tolerance or what, but I was starting to feel like Louis had been bullshitting me.

I was just about to get up to leave after my third beer, ready to try to sleep again, when the door opened, letting in a gust of cool air.

My head turned automatically in curiosity, but when I saw who it was, my eyes locked on her.

“Oh no,” I grumbled, running a hand through my hair and sighing.